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Showing posts with label 2013. Show all posts
This Is Infamous

Every once in a while, like every few years or so, a film about HIV or AIDS comes along. I think every generation has its own AIDS movie. Probably to remind the youngsters about the dangers of unprotected sex.

Focus Features/Truth Entertainment
Wait, a priest with AIDS? 
4:35 PM
I Am Your Target Demographic

When asked to choose between Walking with Dinosaurs, 47 Ronin, and The Wolf of Wall Street, the answer was easy: the Scorsese film, of course. First, I didn't want to watch Ronin or Dinosaurs in 2D. Second, it's Scorsese.

It's most probably Scorsese if Leo DiCaprio is in it.
7:04 AM
Ah, 2013. It may not have been a good year meteorologically-speaking, but it was a great year for movies. The bad news is we've seen far less movies in 2013 compared to the previous year. The good news is we've seen those that actually matter.

Like most lists, this list isn't perfect. There might be one or two anomalies in here (such as The Lone Ranger) which should've gotten a lower rating, but the other writers of Da Couch Tomato haven't had time to write multiple reviews in order to bring down the average. Some also would've probably made it to the list, if only the writer didn't forget to add a rating (like Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters). But we don't do sleight-of-hand rating changes just because we don't like a film that much. We have integrity, and we stand by our rating. We just add a disclaimer.

Anyway, here are the Top 13 movies of 2013. Clicking on the title links back to the original review. And so we start with...

Number 13

Not a Daft Punk music video.
4:33 PM
Viva Ent on YouTube

I'd just like to answer some allegations that the film 10,000 Hours was about me, or loosely based on my life.

Yup. Totally based on my life.
3:40 PM
Thumbs down, Damon, for that shitty episode title.

Damon and Enzo's fight is short-lived. (Also both their quests to be the lead actor of the 50 Shades of Gray movie?) I would've enjoyed watching them battle it out for the whole episode. Seeing Damon not really fight Enzo showed just how much he's grown through the years—and he did a lot of growing up. Strongest evidence of that: the breakup.

More. More. More!
4:47 PM
Look at that Enzo 
He reminds me of the Damon I used to know—the Damon he would've been, if and when he'd straighten up a little, but still "medyo bad boy". Now, he's just the underdog of sorts. Part of me roots for Enzo more in the event that he faces he-who-left-him-to-burn. Because he's still alive! Giddy!

I wonder why he never managed to escape.
1:26 PM
All hail the king!

So Klaus and Marcel are allies now, with the latter choosing the former (and the safety of his posse) over Rebekah, the girl they didn't really completely sell as his one true love. Can I say, "I told you so, girl?" Yep, I told you so.

She must miss Matt, right?
12:53 PM
Warner Bros. Pictures on YouTube

People ask me if I liked TH:TDOS (The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, a.k.a. Yes, I Love Acronyms). Let me put it this way: I was obsessed with Elsa after watching Frozen, and I honestly thought watching TDOS would rid me of my Frozen hangover.

Elf Warrior < Ice Queen

I was wrong. After watching the second film in The Hobbit trilogy, I thought to myself, "Yeah, that was okay, I guess", then immediately went on YouTube to watch "Let It Go" for the nth time.

Oh, Elsa. I love you.
10:37 AM
Hit Zone Online

"Let It Go", that catchy tune by composer couple Robert Lopez and Kristen Anderson-Lopez, is my new earworm. My last earworm was "Blurred Lines", and who would've thought the next one would be a Disney song?

A Disney song way beyond my vocal range.
1:10 PM
Forbes

Who Nelson Mandela was:
  • The man lovingly called "Madiba" by a nation that holds him in very deep respect
  • The first black president of South Africa from 1994 to 1999
  • The man who presented the Springboks with the 1995 Rugby World Cup trophy in the film Invictus
1:05 PM
Tim F. White/Getty Images via CNN

Paul Walker will go down as one of the most crucial elements of the Fast and Furious franchise. Although he's quite often been at the receiving end of negative acting reviews, that hasn't stopped him from driving.

1:59 PM
Read the date at the bottom. Yes, that's "2013" in Roman numerals.

As mentioned in the Frozen review, Disney is going back to the spirit of the animated classics. But this isn't true for just the full-length features. Even the preceding short film has gone retro with "Get a Horse!"

Not full-retro, as this is 2013, where everyone is allergic to black-and-white.
12:22 PM
Elena's extra-credit college project: Aaron

We're off to college to flesh out the story of the Augustine vampire since, you know, the 2,000-year-old shadowselves are dead. Jesse is one of the numerous experiments of the Augustine Society, and guess what? Damon was, too, in his past. TVD pulls off a new one and it's interesting at least.

Oh no, you don't. 
5:11 PM
Thy kingdom come.

He-who-I-would-hate-to-be-in-this-show wants to ally himself with Marcel to kill Klaus' baby. Good thing he's put in the garden for it. Tyler, please, take on someone your own size!

No more humming (harming?) my neice.
4:51 PM
Stop crying. Die now.

Finally, death finds Silas and Amarra. Qetsiyah/Tessa follows them as well. Amarra, an ordinary human, is sent to rest in peace, and while Silas, now a witch, is in supernatural limbo, so is Qetsiyah/Tessa─and the scorned woman gets what she wants after all. I hope that's the last we see of them.

Don't ever come back, please.
4:30 PM
Consider Haley's butt as a consolation.

Another hybrid is in town. Tyler in The Originals. Please excuse me while I vomit.

Stupid, stubborn Tyler thinks he stands a chance. 
3:59 PM
Walt Disney Studios Ph

To a lot of kids, the golden age of Disney animation reached its peak with The Lion King. Then basically everything went downhill from there.

We're looking at you, The Emperor's New Groove.
And to think this was released on my 21st birthday. Tsk.

But with Frozen, the future of Disney's animation arm seems secure indeed. It's gone back to the same spirit of the beloved classics, which will please old fans while creating new ones. Here are three reasons Disney fans can rest easy.

"Hello! I'm Olaf the Snowman, and I'm this film's comic relief!"
12:53 PM
BBC
A nod to the classics.

MOVE ALONG IF YOU HATE SPOILERS

After a long hiatus, the Doctor is back. This time, it's not just Matt Smith's Eleven. He'll be joined by David Tennant's Ten and John Hurt's… uh, Eight-point-five? Because it's Doctor Who's 50th anniversary, that's why.

BBC
John Hurt wouldn't even be here if Christopher Eccleston said yes.
4:11 PM
The Hunger Games on YouTube

MOVE ALONG IF YOU HATE SPOILERS

Like most proper trilogies, the second installment is usually the best.

Vanity Fair via Mediaite
Usually with the best hairstyles.
5:38 PM
Camcording: not one of the best portmanteaus ever created. Somehow, combining the words "camera" and "recording" makes it sound redundant.

In the Philippines, anti-camcording ads are shown in cinemas, and because they are played alongside movie trailers, they cannot afford to be preachy, or else they lose the audience's interest and the ad campaign would have failed. So to drive the message home, they have to resort to comedy.

Now let's review the two anti-camcording ads, and discuss both their strengths and their weaknesses.

6:18 PM
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