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Showing posts with label fast and furious. Show all posts
"This franchise has nowhere to go but up!"

Hobbes and Shaw is the first spin-off of a franchise that ran relatively long (eight movies by my count), and by the looks of it, it might continue for a few more movies. That's because the filmmakers understood one very important piece of knowledge: human beings love action, fast cars, and hot women.

I'm guessing no one saw this coming, though. Who would've thought it would be relative franchise newcomers Dwayne Johnson and Jason Statham that would take the wheel of the spin-offs? Everyone was thinking it would have been Tyrese Gibson and Ludacris in the spin-offs before The Rock and Statham came along. And Gibson hasn't been secretive about is displeasure with the direction the producers were taking.

You know what I think? I think the reason the producers ditched Gibson and Ludacris for Johnson and Statham was chemistry. Sure, Gibson and Ludacris had chemistry, but it was more because they had shared status as the franchise's comic relief. But Hobbes and Shaw is a different combination altogether: they're an action duo, they can fight, and they are also a natural comic duo. That's like a three-for-the-price-of-one promo. Their rivalry is evident, but their chemistry is undeniable.

Anyway, let's go to Idris Elba. Black Superman? Of course he is. I'm just not sure why no one even claimed that title before. Maybe no one dared use it? I don't know. If anyone was going to be called Black Superman, you'd think he'd come from the world of sports, like an athlete or something. But Elba shows us his athleticism in this film, and I wouldn't be surprised if he actually did most, if not all, of his stunts for this movie.

"I still have a full head of hair, motherfuckers!"

As far as action heroines go, Vanessa Kirby is fast becoming my favourite. You wouldn't have thought that from seeing her in The Crown, but after Mission: Impossible – Fallout, I think she showed the world that she can go toe-to-toe with her male co-stars in giving a good onscreen ass-whooping.

But even without Vanessa Kirby, or even without any female lead for that matter, audiences will still flock to see this flick because of the car chase sequences. This is, after all, still part of the Fast & Furious franchise, and this film becomes nothing without the fast cars. The chase sequences will leave you on the edge of your seat with all the adrenaline, and the stunt driving is so good that there definitely has to be some CGI in there somewhere. If there isn't, God bless you, stunt drivers. The world is definitely a better place with you.

Finally, for the first time in the franchise, we get to see Samoa. Personally, I think taking the Fast & Furious franchise to off-road locations wouldn't work in the long run. Not that it's not practical, it's just that stunt driving looks absolutely breathtaking when the cars weave in and out of traffic, and you can't really do that driving in the jungle. So beautiful as it is, I hope the producers don't come back to Samoa. I mean, if they want to go back there, at least let them do shoot the chase sequences in downtown Apia. That's Samoa's capital, for those too lazy to Google.

"Is that Idris Elba getting his own spin-off?"



Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbes and Shaw. USA. 2019.



Original rating: 7.4/10
Vanessa Kirby's hotness: +0.1
Helen Mirren: +0.1
Kevin Hart: +0.1
Ryan Reynolds: 0.1
Roman Reigns: +0.05
Samoa looking like Mindanao: +0.05
Final rating: 7.9/10
The Numbers

When you are young, you tend to be an idealist. And you tend to think that good movies are those that tell good stories, with good acting, good cinematography, and other good elements.

Like Elsa Pataky's nudity.


The US title is Fast 5, but the Philippine release was titled Fast and Furious 5. You know, just to make sure everybody knows that this is the fifth film of that franchise about fast cars and rappers who want to switch careers. Of course, when you hear the words "fast and furious", it can only pertain to three things: 1) race cars; 2) tasmanian devils; and 3) Wolverine.

"My claws can act better than Paul Walker!"

And in keeping with the theme of the movie (even the subtitles were fast and furious, which was good, actually), here is a review that can be read in less than a minute. And because this is the fifth film, we'll place special significance on the number 5. Here are five points/observations on the movie, told with five images, described with five captions, with each caption having exactly five words each.


It's Grand Theft Auto: Rio.


Body temperature: ninety-nine degrees.


Furious biceps required by contract.


Dark skin equals comic relief.


Everybody lives... for Fast 6.



Fast 5 a.k.a. Fast and Furious 5. USA. 2011.


Rating: Two out of ten.
Elsa Pataky's hotness: Plus three points.
Gal Gadot's killer figure: Plus three points.
Gal Gadot's small breasts: Minus half a point.
Gal Gadot's flat buttocks: Minus half a point.
Jordana Brewster looking old and wasted: Minus one point.
Scene where The Rock takes the folder from Elsa Pataky and hurls it: Plus two points.
Paul Walker's invisibility due to his non-acting: Minus one point.
Not including Eva Mendes in this film: Minus half a point.
Resurrecting Michelle Rodriguez from the grave for the next film: Minus half a point.
Not knowing when to stop: Minus one point.
Final rating: Five out of ten.



*pics from, Comic Book Movie, YouTube and IMDb



You may also want to read the review for Fast & Furious.
Fast cars, and Vin Diesel's furious biceps. That's where they got the title from.

But seriously, I've just come to realize that it is very, very difficult to strike a balance between story and effects. You have to choose one or the other. Fast & Furious had the promise of a great storyline, but to tell a great story would have taken more time. That would mean more time for character development, and less time for car chases. And everyone knows people watched this for the car chases and not for Paul Walker's acting.

So, it's all fast cars and hot babes all the way. Typical male fantasy. Question: why do fast cars and hot women always go together? Answer: because hot women never commute. That was a joke.

Also, I've come to appreciate the special effects work in this film. A successful blend of old school movie magic, new school digital effects, and just plain old great driving. Seamless.

They say that this is the fourth film in the Fast & Furious franchise, but I say it's only the third. Then they say, "The third film is Tokyo Drift." Then I say, "What Tokyo Drift?"

Great cars. Great car chases. Great soundtrack. I only have one problem with this film, though. Why didn't Vin Diesel have sex with that hot-Latina-girl-who-looks-more-like-an-Eastern-European-vampire-than-a-Latina? Oh, Vin Diesel...you put your furious biceps to waste.


*pic from blog.automotiveaddicts.com


Fast & Furious
. USA. 2009.


Rating: Six and a half out of ten.



You may also want to read the review for Fast 5 a.k.a. Fast and Furious 5.
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