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Review: Furious 6 (a.k.a. Fast & Furious 6)

The Numbers

When you are young, you tend to be an idealist. And you tend to think that good movies are those that tell good stories, with good acting, good cinematography, and other good elements.

Like Elsa Pataky's nudity.

But when you grow older, you find out that isn't necessarily the case. Good movies don't always have to be art. Their screenplays don't have to be literature. And here are three reasons why I consider this a good film.

Before a movie becomes art, it must first be entertainment. That is the entire purpose of showbusiness, and the reason why it's called the "entertainment industry" and not the "audio-visual arts industry". If a film entertains, then it succeeds. Never mind the gaping plot holes and inconsistencies.

And the impossibilities.

From start to finish, this film will pump you with adrenaline. This is quite evident in The Rock's biceps, where you can see his veins just wanting to pop. And just like an addict who knows how to get the maximum high by pacing his drug intake, so does this film dole out its action sequences in increments, allowing us all room to catch our breath. Just like in porn, where non-stop fucking wouldn't be as entertaining as having foreplay in between. Wait, did I just mention porn? Crap.

This looks like the perfect set-up for gay porn.

There's only one way to counteract drugs, and that's more drugs. So if you have adrenaline in your body, then your brain will complement it with dopamine, which is what Tyrese Gibson's sole puprose in this film is.

"Yeah, you and your girl are gonna die, man!"

Furious 6 a.k.a. Fast and Furious 6. USA. 2013.

Original rating: 7 / 10
Tyrese Gibson's non-stop jokes: + 0.5
Ludacris's unconvincing Spanish: - 0.01
Gal Gadot's death: - 0.05
Paul Walker's acting: - 0.1
Vin Diesel ending up with the wrong girl: - 0.1
Jordana Brewster looking like she's been using drugs: - 0.1
Luke Evans's convincing villainy: + 0.1
Michelle Rodriguez's mere presence: - 0.2
Final rating: 7.04 / 10

You may also want to read the reviews of Fast & Furious and Fast 5.

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Dan O. said...

Now since it is a summer film that has The Rock in it, it's normal to expect a bunch of exciting action and maybe a few cheesy one liners and stuff like that and this movie does have those, but also a bunch of fun as well. Good review Sting.

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