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Review: Noah, or How the Hollywood Style of Adaptation Was Applied to Biblical Narratives

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The art of adaptation has many forms (I am of course talking of adaptation in its literary sense). Adaptation is the process by which a work is transposed from one medium to another. For example, a novel can be adapted from a stage play, or a poem can be adapted into a short story. And movies can be adapted from almost any medium under the sun.

The film Noah from director Darren Aronofsky is one such example, coming out as the second of at least three films this year adapted from biblical sources. Understandably, viewers would tend to compare Noah with other biblical films such as The Passion of the Christ, The Last Temptation of Christ, and The Prince of Egypt.

There are some films which are considered modern-day adaptations of Biblical stories, like the obvious modern-day Christ narrative The Matrix, but in my opinion, these aren't so much adaptations as modern-day retellings. Yes, they may be similar, but they are distinct. Baz Luhrmann's Romeo + Juliet is a modern-day adaptation, while Romeo Must Die is a modern-day retelling of William Shakespeare's classic play. So where does the difference lie?

"Adaptation? Retelling? I'm confused now."

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Essay: "Mali"-ficent, or How Disney's Best Villain Turned from Bad to Bland

Maleficent was the Celia Rodriguez of the Disney universe. Her outfits look like she's best friends with a gay designer, and when she arrives in parties, everything stops. In fact, she doesn't need an invitation to come to parties. She is so kick-ass her grand scheme to get back at the king for not putting her on the guest list is pure genius: everyone in the kingdom will fall in love with Aurora, only to have their hearts shattered when she turns 16 and she dies of a needle prick.

That's as cruel as giving a baby AIDS by sharing a druggie's needle with her. For 16 years, people around Aurora build relationships with her knowing she will die soon if she so much as breaks her skin with a needle. It's hard to get emotionally invested with a girl like that, but Aurora is gifted with beauty and charm, so it's really a Catch-22.

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Review: Edge of Tomorrow, or Everything's Been Done Before

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The thing that hath beene, it is that which shall be: and that which is done, is that which shall be done; and there is no new thing vnder the sunne.
Ecclesiastes 1:9

You might be wondering if this is the Noah review, because of this Bible verse in fancy old English. No, it’s not. And the old English text comes from the 1611 version of the King James Bible.

What does the verse mean? In a nutshell, what it’s saying is that nothing is original anymore, because everything has been done before. Sounds like a perfect descriptor for Hollywood cinema.

The only thing that hasn't been done before is the collaboration between Tom Cruise and Emily Blunt.

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Review: X-Men: Days of Future Past, or The Longest-Running Non-Rebooted Movie-Comic Franchise So Far

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The X-Men film franchise is now on its fifth film (2013’s The Wolverine is considered a spin-off, which would make 2009's X-Men Origins: Wolverine a prequel slash spinoff – or a sprinquel, if I may coin the term. What's that? No, I may not coin the term? Okay then.), and Days of Future Past (DoFP, because I love acronyms) is the second film in what we all first thought was a reboot. DoFP ends somewhere before the events of X-Men: The Last Stand, which could actually allow the filmmakers to pretend that third X-Men movie never really happened.

"Yes, I've gained weight, but only because  I actually
never thought we'd be asked to come back. ."

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