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| The Numbers |
When you are young, you tend to be an idealist. And you tend to think that good movies are those that tell good stories, with good acting, good cinematography, and other good elements.
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| Like Elsa Pataky's nudity. |
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When you are young, you tend to be an idealist. And you tend to think that good movies are those that tell good stories, with good acting, good cinematography, and other good elements.
Before you watch─or if you've watched it already─before you give praise or slam Transformers: Dark of the Moon, consider the following points first:
The movie is about the Transformers, as the title implies, referring to the Autobots and Decepticons. It's not a movie about Sam Witwicky or Sam and Bumblebee. It's also not about the love story of Sam and Carly. Please stop fussing about the lack of human character development. It is supposed to be about them steel cars that transform into robots and whatever technology from their home planet Cybertron that makes them seem alive. Humans take a back seat, and let them hoard the spotlight.
It's the third installment of the series. A lot of critics have said that the more sequels a franchise produces, the worse it becomes. So don't complain too much after watching the film; you have been warned. Also, you're likely to see all the semi-significant characters of the franchise even for just a few minutes and even if the plot can do without them. You'll still likely watch the fourth installment, if ever there would be one—yes, even if it seems impossible for the dead to come to life again. But let's hope they stay dead this time.
It's a special effects-bombarded blockbuster movie about cars that transform into robots. Expect a hot woman character in the film. More than 90 percent of the film's target audience is male (I was the only girl waiting in line for tickets). In this genre, women could be reduced to lips─er, um─sugar, spice and everything nice. That, or a pseudo-strong feisty one who just sits through the action. Testosterone levels soar, but there's a need for a lady to save or a lady to bend a knee in admiration.
It's a movie directed by Michael Bay. Hence, all logic should be suspended unless proven otherwise. Bay is an accomplished blockbuster film director who delivered some of the best kick-ass, eardrum-damaging, and fucking-shit-"Whoa!" stunts, explosions, and effects on the big screen. But he's not very tight-knit on story lines. So if you feel like blurting, "What the?" "Where did that come from?" "I thought blah-blah-blah," your argument is invalid. Watch the movie again and try to analyze it if you wish to kill time, or get a headache.
All that said, I think the third installment has the most promising story line. Transformers: Dark of the Moon was more thought of and has more heart not just from the human factor but from the Transformers themselves, even though some of them are still more annoying than cute. Also, Mr. Spock held his own alongside Mr. Cullen—Peter Cullen, that is (and a different kind of shimmering steel).
For how little parts the humans played: I don't think it was established how serious Sam (Shia LaBeouf) and Carly (Rosie Huntington-Whitey) are or how good their chemistry is. Lebeuof is still himself. But I have to give credit for his eyes conveying more of his character's emotions than his mouth. Honestly, he just mainly rattles his lines and shouts. Huntington-Whitely, on the other hand, put to good use her Victoria's Secret Angel-ness and her accent, but nothing more. (Megan Fox kicked more ass. I guess they went for a Cinderella-in-distress female lead this time rather than a Lara Croft incarnate). Frances McDormand and John Turturro are a nice relief at the sidelines. I'll forgive Tyrese Gibson and Josh Duhamel's diminished screen time. It's really hard to hate Patrick "McDreamy" Dempsey. I like Former Agent Simmon's all-around sidekick Dutch (Alan Tudyk, A Knight's Tale) more than John Malkovich's, um... what's his role really?
The special effects are clearly an up credit, though it wouldn't have hurt if they paid more attention to JFK and Nixon's look-a-likes; the whole movie is practically filled with special effects anyway. But I still don't get how the Transformers look polished and painted steel in car form only to transform into rusty-looking robots. Or that Carly's white top always looks clean and white amidst a world of gray and black. Or how humans are could be completely obliterated except for their skulls. Or how... okay, nevermind.
Transformers: Dark of The Moon gets a six out of ten, for giving the the franchise a reason to keep its chin leveled after its predecessor buried it in deep shit.
*photos from screencaps of the trailer, daemonsmovies, static.tvguide.com, collider.com, and onlinemovieshut.com
You may also want to check out Sting Lacson's review of Transformers: Dark of the Moon. Or you could read the reviews of Transformers and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Or you could read the review of the 1986 animated film.
 |
| Shut it first and read. |
The movie is about the Transformers, as the title implies, referring to the Autobots and Decepticons. It's not a movie about Sam Witwicky or Sam and Bumblebee. It's also not about the love story of Sam and Carly. Please stop fussing about the lack of human character development. It is supposed to be about them steel cars that transform into robots and whatever technology from their home planet Cybertron that makes them seem alive. Humans take a back seat, and let them hoard the spotlight.
 |
| Size matters in this movie. Deal with it. |
It's the third installment of the series. A lot of critics have said that the more sequels a franchise produces, the worse it becomes. So don't complain too much after watching the film; you have been warned. Also, you're likely to see all the semi-significant characters of the franchise even for just a few minutes and even if the plot can do without them. You'll still likely watch the fourth installment, if ever there would be one—yes, even if it seems impossible for the dead to come to life again. But let's hope they stay dead this time.
 |
| When he grows up to be him, that's the fourth sequel. |
It's a special effects-bombarded blockbuster movie about cars that transform into robots. Expect a hot woman character in the film. More than 90 percent of the film's target audience is male (I was the only girl waiting in line for tickets). In this genre, women could be reduced to lips─er, um─sugar, spice and everything nice. That, or a pseudo-strong feisty one who just sits through the action. Testosterone levels soar, but there's a need for a lady to save or a lady to bend a knee in admiration.
 |
| How come I didn't see you actually drive this sweet car? Boo. |
It's a movie directed by Michael Bay. Hence, all logic should be suspended unless proven otherwise. Bay is an accomplished blockbuster film director who delivered some of the best kick-ass, eardrum-damaging, and fucking-shit-"Whoa!" stunts, explosions, and effects on the big screen. But he's not very tight-knit on story lines. So if you feel like blurting, "What the?" "Where did that come from?" "I thought blah-blah-blah," your argument is invalid. Watch the movie again and try to analyze it if you wish to kill time, or get a headache.
 |
| The Terminator meets the thing Neo of The Matrix was at war with. |
 |
| Um, I'm pretty sure you catch my drift already. |
All that said, I think the third installment has the most promising story line. Transformers: Dark of the Moon was more thought of and has more heart not just from the human factor but from the Transformers themselves, even though some of them are still more annoying than cute. Also, Mr. Spock held his own alongside Mr. Cullen—Peter Cullen, that is (and a different kind of shimmering steel).
 |
| The number of Star Trek puns in this movie equals Leonard Nimoy. |
For how little parts the humans played: I don't think it was established how serious Sam (Shia LaBeouf) and Carly (Rosie Huntington-Whitey) are or how good their chemistry is. Lebeuof is still himself. But I have to give credit for his eyes conveying more of his character's emotions than his mouth. Honestly, he just mainly rattles his lines and shouts. Huntington-Whitely, on the other hand, put to good use her Victoria's Secret Angel-ness and her accent, but nothing more. (Megan Fox kicked more ass. I guess they went for a Cinderella-in-distress female lead this time rather than a Lara Croft incarnate). Frances McDormand and John Turturro are a nice relief at the sidelines. I'll forgive Tyrese Gibson and Josh Duhamel's diminished screen time. It's really hard to hate Patrick "McDreamy" Dempsey. I like Former Agent Simmon's all-around sidekick Dutch (Alan Tudyk, A Knight's Tale) more than John Malkovich's, um... what's his role really?
 |
| Little roles. Little time. Big double yum yum. |
The special effects are clearly an up credit, though it wouldn't have hurt if they paid more attention to JFK and Nixon's look-a-likes; the whole movie is practically filled with special effects anyway. But I still don't get how the Transformers look polished and painted steel in car form only to transform into rusty-looking robots. Or that Carly's white top always looks clean and white amidst a world of gray and black. Or how humans are could be completely obliterated except for their skulls. Or how... okay, nevermind.
 |
| She's easier to spot and save or sweep off her feet. |
Transformers: Dark of The Moon gets a six out of ten, for giving the the franchise a reason to keep its chin leveled after its predecessor buried it in deep shit.
*photos from screencaps of the trailer, daemonsmovies, static.tvguide.com, collider.com, and onlinemovieshut.com
You may also want to check out Sting Lacson's review of Transformers: Dark of the Moon. Or you could read the reviews of Transformers and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Or you could read the review of the 1986 animated film.
This is the formula for a Michael Bay film:
Explosions + fast cars + excessive "golden hour" shots + dizzying and annoying camera movements + terrific action sequences + great comic relief + occasionally forced three-sixty shots. Times ten.
Anyway, Revenge of the Fallen succeeded in living up to the hype. And this time, they at least tried to satisfy the original eighties fans with lots of references from the original cartoon series and from the original animated movie. (How many times did I just use the word "original"?)
All the characters in this movie can be divided into two teams: Team Coolness and Team Comic Relief.
Team Coolness:
- Optimus Prime (I just love Peter Cullen's voice. If God had a voice, he would sound like Optimus Prime.)
- Shia LaBeouf (Of course. Shia LaBeouf is a great actor.)
- Megan Fox (She is also part of a special team called Team Hotness, of which she is the only member.)
- Soundwave (Though he doesn't have the same cool voice as in the original animated series, it's still Frank Welker. So there.)
- Devastator (Any Transformer that huge should be on Team Coolness.)
- Arcee (And they finally brought in female Autobots.)
Team Comic Relief:
- John Turturro (Still funny as hell.)
- Kevin Dunn and Julie White (The parents were already a riot since the first film.)
- Skids and Mudflap (The Autobot Twins.)
- Jetfire (He was actually a serious character in the TV series, but remains in this film as the Decepticon who chose to be an Autobot. You can actually choose which side you want to be on.)
- Ramon Rodriguez (This guy will have a great career ahead of him.)
- Josh Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson (These guys were in Team Coolness in the first film, but were demoted to Team Comic Relief for this film.)
The team captains for Team Coolness and Team Comic Relief are Optimus Prime and John Turturro, respectively.
Take note of the excellent sound. Not only does it give vibrating pleasure to your butt, it could actually get nominated for an Oscar. Even a blind man would probably enjoy this movie, as it is both visual and auditory candy.
Also, regarding the title: there's nothing special about it. The main villain in this film, or Megatron's boss, is named "The Fallen". Seriously. So this is basically his revenge.
*some info from IMDb
pic from thinkhero.com
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. USA. 2009.
Rating: Eight out of ten.
Megan Fox's hotness: Nine out of ten.
Soundwave's voice: Nine out of ten.
Optimus Prime's voice: Ten stars.
You may also want to check out the review of Transformers. Or you could read the reviews of Transformers: Dark of the Moon here and here. Or you could read the review of the 1986 animated film.
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