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"This franchise has nowhere to go but up!"

Hobbes and Shaw is the first spin-off of a franchise that ran relatively long (eight movies by my count), and by the looks of it, it might continue for a few more movies. That's because the filmmakers understood one very important piece of knowledge: human beings love action, fast cars, and hot women.

I'm guessing no one saw this coming, though. Who would've thought it would be relative franchise newcomers Dwayne Johnson and Jason Statham that would take the wheel of the spin-offs? Everyone was thinking it would have been Tyrese Gibson and Ludacris in the spin-offs before The Rock and Statham came along. And Gibson hasn't been secretive about is displeasure with the direction the producers were taking.

You know what I think? I think the reason the producers ditched Gibson and Ludacris for Johnson and Statham was chemistry. Sure, Gibson and Ludacris had chemistry, but it was more because they had shared status as the franchise's comic relief. But Hobbes and Shaw is a different combination altogether: they're an action duo, they can fight, and they are also a natural comic duo. That's like a three-for-the-price-of-one promo. Their rivalry is evident, but their chemistry is undeniable.

Anyway, let's go to Idris Elba. Black Superman? Of course he is. I'm just not sure why no one even claimed that title before. Maybe no one dared use it? I don't know. If anyone was going to be called Black Superman, you'd think he'd come from the world of sports, like an athlete or something. But Elba shows us his athleticism in this film, and I wouldn't be surprised if he actually did most, if not all, of his stunts for this movie.

"I still have a full head of hair, motherfuckers!"

As far as action heroines go, Vanessa Kirby is fast becoming my favourite. You wouldn't have thought that from seeing her in The Crown, but after Mission: Impossible – Fallout, I think she showed the world that she can go toe-to-toe with her male co-stars in giving a good onscreen ass-whooping.

But even without Vanessa Kirby, or even without any female lead for that matter, audiences will still flock to see this flick because of the car chase sequences. This is, after all, still part of the Fast & Furious franchise, and this film becomes nothing without the fast cars. The chase sequences will leave you on the edge of your seat with all the adrenaline, and the stunt driving is so good that there definitely has to be some CGI in there somewhere. If there isn't, God bless you, stunt drivers. The world is definitely a better place with you.

Finally, for the first time in the franchise, we get to see Samoa. Personally, I think taking the Fast & Furious franchise to off-road locations wouldn't work in the long run. Not that it's not practical, it's just that stunt driving looks absolutely breathtaking when the cars weave in and out of traffic, and you can't really do that driving in the jungle. So beautiful as it is, I hope the producers don't come back to Samoa. I mean, if they want to go back there, at least let them do shoot the chase sequences in downtown Apia. That's Samoa's capital, for those too lazy to Google.

"Is that Idris Elba getting his own spin-off?"



Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbes and Shaw. USA. 2019.



Original rating: 7.4/10
Vanessa Kirby's hotness: +0.1
Helen Mirren: +0.1
Kevin Hart: +0.1
Ryan Reynolds: 0.1
Roman Reigns: +0.05
Samoa looking like Mindanao: +0.05
Final rating: 7.9/10

This sequel couldn't get any better! Magnificent plot! Though the action looks kinda' cliche. But still, better than action porn or any type of porn!

I tend to disagree.

DisneyPixar on YouTube

Monsters University is an excellent example of a good prequel or sequel. First, it doesn't appear forced (at least on the surface), and by "forced" I mean "made for the sake of box office returns". Second, it's a stand-alone film, which is what good sequels or prequels should be. It's possible to enjoy this film without having seen Monsters, Inc., and it gives a whole new level of meaning to those who have actually seen it.

I wish I watched Monsters, Inc. again before watching this.

Fox Searchlight/Montecito/Cold Spring

If you don’t know who Alfred Hitchcock is, then I suggest you stop masquerading as a cinephile, because you are a liar.

Fox Searchlight/Montecito/Cold Spring
"Cinephile... is that like pedophile?"


The secret agent/CIA stuff never really gets old. It could look old though if you put in guys like Morgan Freeman, Bruce Willis, John Malkovich and Helen Mirren in it. Plus put in there too that dude who played Agamemnon (did I spell that right?) in Troy, and it really looks old! And also, that dude who was in line buying the RED movie tickets looked old too. I feel like I'm entering a Jackie Chan movie (where almost all the members in the audience are like 35 or way older). These are the same guys who watched Die Hard I in theaters back in the day (and they were in their prime back then).

The leads were so in their post-post-prime state that Karl Urban looked young and preppy amongst 'em. Bruce Willis even called Urban (who played Cooper, one of CIA's heads), "6'1 with the cute hair..." I guess you could call his hair cute if you yourself are balding and your hair follicles aren't motivated (or stimulated, whatever) to grow (just like Willis'). Demi Moore might've left Bruce because of his lack of head hair. I think she wants her man's hair just like the head of a Viking's (perhaps like Ashton's?).

Bruce Willis really revels in roles wherein he doesn't have to do any shouting. He always wants to take it easy on his larynx. I mean, come on. Give me a scene from any of the last ten Bruce Willis flicks where he was required to shout a lot. Man, he doesn't even talk loud enough to be John McClane. His voice always seems smooth and suave. Hence, the bald guy roles.

Morgan Freeman just isn't cut out for action flicks like these. Even if he's RED (Retired and Extremely Dangerous) in this movie, he just ain't athletic enough. Helen Mirren can beat this geezer in a foot race. Plus he (Freeman) doesn't look like an 80-year old with stage 4 liver cancer (his role in the movie).

Helen Mirren really looks old in this one. I mean, she looks old when she played Queen Elizabeth. but man, time flies by so fast. For me, she kinda' looked different in a short span of time. But her accent really kicked ass!

My favorite here is of course, Mr. John Malkovich. Not only does he bring the much needed comic relief, he also embraces the old man role to the extent that he made "old man" synonymous with "veteran killer". Add to that the fact that he did LSD for eleven years under a controlled, secret CIA program, then you really have a funny old junkie runnin' loose with the old dogs.

I wasn't really overwhelmed with this movie or anything like that. It was just what I expected. A bunch of retired CIA agents runnin' around and killin' people. Good job to John Malkovich for bein' the "glue guy" in this team. If you don't know what a glue guy is, think Scottie Pippen of the Bulls. Think Lamar Odom for the Lakers. Think Udonis Haslem for the Heat.

Offensively and defensively, they bring it to the table. Same thing with John.

My rating for this flick is 7 out of 10. If it wasn't for the glue guy, this would be a measly 6.






*image from www.scene-stealers.com

Another action-packed holiday family movie from entertainment giants Jerry Bruckheimer and Walt Disney Pictures, this is the second installment in the National Treasure franchise, a weird mix of treasure hunts, conspiracy theories, and American history.

John Bartha is hilarious as Ripley Poole, once again stealing the show from Nicholas Cage and the lovely Dianne Kruger, while Jon Voight too reprises his role as Ben Gates's agitated father. Throw in Helen Mirren as the semi-bitchy mom, and you've got yourself a family reunion.

Of course, us older audiences will know better than to accept the story with no questions asked, but again the line between fact and fiction may not be clear to the kids. These children might develop a false interest in American history, suddenly listening attentively in history class, hoping for a clue to a hidden treasure. But kids, there is no such thing. It's just a movie. But then again, to a child, movies are the bearers of truth, and no one can tell them to believe otherwise.

Rating: Three stars.
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