Review: Ben-Hur, o Bakit Laging Gwapo ang mga Jesus Christ sa Pelikula?

YouTube

Podrace sa Tatooine. Joke lang.

Matagal na ang kwento ni Ben-Hur. Ang source material nito ay ang nobelang Ben-Hur: A Tale of the Christ ni Lew Wallace noong 1880, at mula noon ay nagkaroon ng maraming cinematic adaptation. Ang pinakasikat nito ay 'yung Ben-Hur noong 1959 starring Charlton Heston na nanalo ng Oscar para sa performance niya rito. Kaya sa mga nalilito pa rin, fictional po si Ben-Hur. Hindi po siya historical figure.

Wala namang problema ang pelikulang ito story-wise, kasi nga ito ay pang-ilang remake na ng isang sikat na nobela noong turn of the 20th century. The fact na nakailang remake na ito ay proof na maganda ang kwentong ito, so palakpakan natin si Lew Wallace. Siguro kung may isang problema sa kwento, ito ay ang kakulangan sa exposition ng sitwasyon sa Jerusalem noon. Hindi naman kasi lahat ng manonood nito ay Kristiyano, kaya mas mainam sana kung mas naipaliwanag pa nila ito. Although hindi ko pa nababasa ang libro ni Wallace, sa tingin ko mas malaki ang part ni Jesus Christ sa kwento, kaya nga "A Tale of the Christ" ang subtitle ng libro e. Siguro kung mas nadagdagan pa ang bahagi ni Rodrigo Santoro as Jesus, at kung ang Jesus scenes ay naitahi nang maayos sa main narrative, baka mas nasiyahan pa ang mga critics.

Patheos

Pa-gwapuhan ang labanan ng mga Jesus Christ sa Hollywood.

Performance-wise, maayos naman ang pinakita ni Jack Huston bilang Judah Ben-Hur (literal translation: Judah, anak ni Hur). Maalala niyo siya bilang hitman na kalahati ang mukha sa TV show na Boardwalk Empire, kung saan ang acting niya ay subtle pero very effective. Dito, ayos naman ang acting niya. He doesn't shine, but he delivers. Si Toby Kebbell, on the other hand, ay magaling. Bilang adopted brother at future rival ni Judah, nakuha niya ang effective villainy, 'yung may transformation pa mula mabait hanggang masama, at kung saan ang kasamaan niya ay hindi niya sinasadya at napilit lang sa kanya.

Phase9.tv

Sa anggulong ito, medyo kamukha niya 'yung character niya sa Warcraft.

Meanwhile, si Morgan Freeman naman ay typical Morgan Freeman. Masungit pero mabait na old man ang tipong role na swak na swak sa kanya. Halatang sinulit ng producers ang talent fee niya, dahil maririnig sa simula ng pelikula ang boses niya bilang voice-over narration. Nakaka-distract lang ang close-up shots niya, dahil nakikita ko ang mga nunal niya sa mukha na parang monggo bread. Tsaka 'yung dreadlocks, diyos ko po. Parang mop. Pekeng-peke at nakaka-distract.

Gospel Herald

"Ano ba problema? Hindi ba bagay sa akin ang rasta look?"

Wala rin namang problema sa direksiyon ni Timur Bekmambetov, na kung naaalala niyo ay siya ring nag-direct ng Wanted. Si Bekmambetov ay magaling sa mga action sequence, kaya naman ang sikat na chariot race sequence sa huli ay sobrang nakakadala. Pero honestly, sayang naman ang directing prowess ni Bekmambetov kung another remake lang ang gagawin niya.

Sa palagay ko, the world doesn't need another Ben-Hur movie. Kung gusto ng Hollywood ng mas marami pang sword-and-sandal epics, marami pang magagandang kwento sa Bible na hindi pa naisasa-pelikula. Pero para sa mga kabataan ngayon, dapat niyo nga itong panoorin kung ang kilala niyo lang na Ben-Hur ay si Ben-Hur Abalos.

Trailer List

Hmmm... cross? Okay, gets.

Ben-Hur. USA. 2016.



Original na rating: 7/10
Walang Ayelet Zurer nudity: -0.1
Walang Nazanin Boniadi nudity: -0.1
Chariot race sequence: +0.1
Naval battle sequence: +0.1
Dreadlocks ni Morgan Freeman: -0.1
Kagwapuhan ni Rodrigo Santoro: -0.1
Final na rating: 6.8/10

Review: Lucy, or Know Your Directors: Luc Besson

Hybrid Stars

At first, I thought Lucy was Luc Besson's first directorial gig in a long time. But IMDb has proven me wrong. He had one last year, in fact, and it was a Hollywood film, which means I should have at least heard of it. But I have not. This could only mean either 1) it wasn't really a Hollywood film but a French film with a Hollywood cast; or 2) it did so poorly at the US box office that they chose not to distribute it here.

It was, in fact, the second one. It scored 29% on Rotten Tomatoes, which is around the average score for a Luc Besson film. So does that mean he sucks? No. Maybe. I don't really care.

The Golden Rule of Moviegoing is this: Never let critics dictate your cinematic taste. That rhymes, so dibs.

Luc Besson is one of my favourite film directors. I don't care what others think. I watched this film because it was directed by Luc Besson, and not because of the promise of seeing a Scarlett Johansson butt close-up. Now let's use this time to discuss Luc Besson's directing style in relation to his latest film, Lucy.

Koogle.tv

Why would anyone cover his eyes with ScarJo right in front of him?

Review: The Lego Movie, or Five Reasons Even Adults Will Enjoy This

Chud

The Lego Movie isn't really the very first Lego movie. There's Lego: The Adventures of Clutch Powers. There's also Lego Batman: The Movie – DC Super Heroes Unite. Those two, however, converted the cute appeal of the Lego Minifigures into computer-generated characters. Which means in those movies, the Minifigures bend, and I mean in curves.

Ninjago Wikia

Bendy legs: great but unrealistic.

What makes The Lego Movie different from those other Lego movies is that this one tries – and succeeds – in achieving the look of the stop-motion fan-made videos on YouTube. The characters don't bend at the knees, and everything is made of Lego pieces – from waves to smoke to clouds to flames.

Some people may prefer the streamlined look of Ninjago or Chyma, so the stiff animation style may not appeal to them. But there are still several reasons why you should go watch this flick. Here are five.

1. "Everything is Awesome"
Yes. That annoying but damn catchy theme song.

Tumblr

The Lonely Island: annoying but damn catchy.

2. The Schizophrenic Good Cop/Bad Cop
Of course we'll hear Liam Neeson's trademark Irish drawl. But we'll also hear him in a high-pitched goody-goody voice.

hdnux.com

"Release the Kraken. The boy is the chosen one, you must see it."

3. Super Heroes
By which I mean "DC heroes", specifically Batman, Superman, and the Green Lantern. Three guesses why there aren't any Marvel heroes in here.

Business Insider

Everyone is happy in this movie. Even Gotham's Dark Knight.

4. The Wizard Vitruvius being voiced by God
By which I mean "Morgan Freeman". I also love how they just dangle him on a string to simulate being a ghost.

Brick Animation

"My voice acting talent fee is quite expensive." -Morgan Freeman

And finally…

5. The Millenium Falcon
Yes, that's Anthony Daniels and THE Billy Dee Williams as C-3PO and Lando Calrissian.

Collider

No photo of the Millenium Falcon available, so here's Abraham Lincoln and Superman instead.

The Lego Movie. USA. 2014.



Original rating: 8.0 / 10
Chris Pratt's genuinely happy voice: + 0.05
Charlie Day's trademark scream: + 0.05
The meta-ness of the entire thing: + 0.05
Will Arnett's Batman performance: + 0.05
Channing Tatum as Superman: + 0.05
Jonah Hill as the Green Lantern: - 0.05
Live action bit at the end: - 0.05
President Business not being Will Ferrell-y enough: - 0.05
Final rating: 8.10 / 10





Follow Sting Lacson on Twitter. But follow Da Couch Tomato first.

Follow Da Couch Tomato on Google +.

Review: Now You See Me

The Four Horsemen. Or should I say, The Four Con Men. That should be the title right there if we want to base it on the magical performers alone. Otherwise, if you wanna include Hulk in the plot, then it's Now You See Me.

"Do you see me now?!?"

The Dark Knight Rises. IMAX

YouTube

And it's final. Christopher Nolan is hanging his cape and cowl after this flick. In layman's terms: This will be the last Batman film directed by Christopher Nolan.

Tech Jost

"It better be!"

As a filmmaker, how do you end the most successful film franchise based on a comic book? How do you close the curtains on the grandest comic book opera ever filmed? In layman's terms: how do you go out with a bang?


1. Let it come full circle.
Batman Begins, the first of the Christopher Nolan Bat-films, started with the League of Shadows. And I guess it would be fitting to end with the League of Shadows. Hell, Nolan even threw Liam Neeson in there, just so you don't forget.

Screenrant

Mr. Neeson, for your latest film Taken 2,
your daughter gets kidnapped... again?

So just to make it clear: it began with Ra's Al Ghul, it climaxed with the Joker, and it ended with Ra's Al Ghul's daughter. This is not one of Nolan's best story arcs, I'd have to admit.

By the way, in this movie, the plot twist comes with the knife twist.

RED

The secret agent/CIA stuff never really gets old. It could look old though if you put in guys like Morgan Freeman, Bruce Willis, John Malkovich and Helen Mirren in it. Plus put in there too that dude who played Agamemnon (did I spell that right?) in Troy, and it really looks old! And also, that dude who was in line buying the RED movie tickets looked old too. I feel like I'm entering a Jackie Chan movie (where almost all the members in the audience are like 35 or way older). These are the same guys who watched Die Hard I in theaters back in the day (and they were in their prime back then).

The leads were so in their post-post-prime state that Karl Urban looked young and preppy amongst 'em. Bruce Willis even called Urban (who played Cooper, one of CIA's heads), "6'1 with the cute hair..." I guess you could call his hair cute if you yourself are balding and your hair follicles aren't motivated (or stimulated, whatever) to grow (just like Willis'). Demi Moore might've left Bruce because of his lack of head hair. I think she wants her man's hair just like the head of a Viking's (perhaps like Ashton's?).

Bruce Willis really revels in roles wherein he doesn't have to do any shouting. He always wants to take it easy on his larynx. I mean, come on. Give me a scene from any of the last ten Bruce Willis flicks where he was required to shout a lot. Man, he doesn't even talk loud enough to be John McClane. His voice always seems smooth and suave. Hence, the bald guy roles.

Morgan Freeman just isn't cut out for action flicks like these. Even if he's RED (Retired and Extremely Dangerous) in this movie, he just ain't athletic enough. Helen Mirren can beat this geezer in a foot race. Plus he (Freeman) doesn't look like an 80-year old with stage 4 liver cancer (his role in the movie).

Helen Mirren really looks old in this one. I mean, she looks old when she played Queen Elizabeth. but man, time flies by so fast. For me, she kinda' looked different in a short span of time. But her accent really kicked ass!

My favorite here is of course, Mr. John Malkovich. Not only does he bring the much needed comic relief, he also embraces the old man role to the extent that he made "old man" synonymous with "veteran killer". Add to that the fact that he did LSD for eleven years under a controlled, secret CIA program, then you really have a funny old junkie runnin' loose with the old dogs.

I wasn't really overwhelmed with this movie or anything like that. It was just what I expected. A bunch of retired CIA agents runnin' around and killin' people. Good job to John Malkovich for bein' the "glue guy" in this team. If you don't know what a glue guy is, think Scottie Pippen of the Bulls. Think Lamar Odom for the Lakers. Think Udonis Haslem for the Heat.

Offensively and defensively, they bring it to the table. Same thing with John.

My rating for this flick is 7 out of 10. If it wasn't for the glue guy, this would be a measly 6.






*image from www.scene-stealers.com

Invictus

This is how to force a review:

Invictus: from the Latin invictus, meaning "indomitable".
Also the title of a poem by William Ernest Henley.

The most famous lines of the poem are "I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul."

This poem was Nelson Mandela's favorite poem, and is what added to Mandela's indomitable spirit while in prison. This means that Mandela's steadfastness was due to his realization that he is the master of his own fate, and the captain of his own soul. Hence he shall not die, but will live on to become president of South Africa.

What this movie is really trying to say, though, is this: "I (Nelson Mandela) am the master of my fate, and I am the captain of the South African rugby team."

Wait, I thought Matt Damon was the captain of the Springboks? He even learned the Afrikaaner accent for an Oscar nomination.

Well of course Matt Damon is the captain of the Springboks. What this movie really wants to show is that Nelson Mandela (played superbly by Morgan Freeman) is higher up than Matt Damon. Mandela is the captain of the captain. So in essence, Nelson Mandela was actually the captain of the Springboks, winners of the 1995 Rugby World Cup.

And Clint Eastwood was able to seamlessly merge politics, nationalism, and sports, into one great story. Well, Clint Eastwood didn't write it. But he directed it. And you have to admit it, Clint Eastwood is a great director.


*some info from IMDb and Wikipedia
pic from NY Daily News


Invictus. USA. 2009.


Rating: Seven out of ten.

The Dark Knight

Oh where to begin...

And you all thought Christopher Nolan can't tell a straight story. Apparently he can, as The Dark Knight follows a more linear narrative path than its predecessor.

Of course, the glory shouldn't all go to the director (where would he be without the actors?), and let me tell you that all of them were brilliant. All of them. So let's go through them one by one, as there are only a few of them anyway.

Christian Bale: Mr. Bale (who gives meaning to the word "man-crush") was the embodiment of what a billionaire playboy should be─cool, rich, and good-looking. And he fights crime too. But that Batman voice of his─you can justify it as Bruce Wayne's way of protecting his identity.

Gary Oldman: The ultimate team player. Gary Oldman knows how to pace his acting. For loud roles, he becomes wild and obnoxious; but for subtle roles, like soon-to-be Commissioner Gordon (spoiler warning!), he just blends in. No overacting, and no underacting either. Just perfect. A possible contender for the Acting Hall of Fame.

Aaron Eckhart: Again, excellent acting (did I mention how many great actors this film has?). Okay, everybody knows Harvey Dent will become the villain Two-Face, but I'm not spoiling anything. All I can say is that his transition from good to evil was well-portrayed. You'll finally understand where his hatred comes from.

Michael Caine: That's Sir Michael Caine to you. You would think that a knight would hog the spotlight, but if there is anything that Caine knows how to do, it's stay in the background. And he does it really well. Though of course you really can't get rid of that sophisticated British accent.

Morgan Freeman: Again, Morgan Freeman is just Morgan Freeman. Not really a bad actor, but somehow he will always be Morgan Freeman, on and off screen. Does that make any sense?

Heath Ledger: Last but definitely not the least, Heath Ledger delivers a performance worthy of an encore. He leaves us with a bang, at the top of his game, and no one should be allowed to top his role as the Joker, as it would be a desecration to his memory. I say let the Joker role die with him. Anyway, you will be so mesmerized by his performance that you'd even forget he was Heath Ledger. Every second of that guy's screen time is worth millions. May God bless his soul.

And finally, the women of Gotham─wait, there's only one. Ms. Maggie Gyllenhaal steps into the void created by Katie Holmes, who starred as the original Rachel Dawes. But honestly, I see no real impact that this character brings, aside from being the love interest of both Harvey Dent and Bruce Wayne. Which strongly suggests that Gotham might indeed be a man's world. My movie buddy in fact couldn't stop swooning over all the men─she swooned over Bale, Eckhart, Ledger, even Oldman. Which of course was nothing to how I swooned over Bruce Wayne.

Now story-wise, The Dark Knight might seem to be a tad too long, running two and a half hours. Quite noticeable is the denouement. The average movie-goer would expect the action to slide down at around the two-hour mark, but the prevalent theme is "Wait, there's more!" The action rises and falls, then rises again, then just when you think it'll fall, it rises again. A bit tiring for the average viewer, but again, the die-hard fans won't even notice it. But the title is very apt, as nothing comes close to the darkness painted by Nolan─for starters, we have a lot of deaths, and near-deaths (spoiler alert number two!), but the character of each and every individual in the story is totally fleshed out. They become real, and veer away from the realm of comic book superheroes to the real world.

A toast to Nolan, for a successful sequel. But we must all realize that the success of The Dark Knight would not have been achieved if it wasn't for the failure of its predecessors. Only by portraying Batman in several not-so-good adaptations does this franchise successfully reinvent itself.

Oh, and Christopher Nolan doesn't go linear all the way. He slips into his trademark non-linear style in the last ten minutes of the film. I guess he just can't help himself.


Rating: Five stars.

Wanted

This may be one of the most visually refreshing movies to ever come out this year.

That's because Wanted is directed by Russian director, Timur Bekmambetov, who brought his European style of fast-paced filmmaking to give Wanted its extra jolt.


The film is paced in the same adrenaline-rush pace that strenuous physical activity, such as an assassination attempt, actually gives. No part of the movie will slow down enough for you to leave your seat and go to the restroom. And some girls should be happy to get their fill of James McAvoy, whose screen time encompasses probably ninety-five percent of the whole film.

James McAvoy gives an excellent performance, and you can actually see and feel his transition from accountant to assassin. Angelina Jolie, for the first time, I believe, shows her body without concealing any of her real-life tattoos. I guess this should make her assassin look more credible, but tattoos or no tattoos, she will always be a credible assassin after Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Thomas Kretschmann plays the elusive Cross, whose character plays a major part in the narrative, and yet gets very little screen time. Morgan Freeman, as the villainous Sloan, is still, well, Morgan Freeman. Even when he played God in Bruce Almighty, he was still Morgan Freeman. He rarely, if ever, changes his acting style.

The film is filled with almost impossible action sequences, which would give the Mythbusters a field day. Curving bullets, flipping cars, blocking a bullet with another bullet---these are of course products of the film's comic roots. Anyway, the film is carried by McAvoy and Timur Bekmambetov's master storytelling, as the director makes sure that from the start, your disbelief has been suspended.

I watched the film having no expectations, and no idea of what the movie was about. And when I left the theater, all I could think of was becoming an assassin. As did the other viewers, who kept pointing invisible guns, trying to curve invisible bullets.


Rating: Five stars.

The Bucket List

Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson---two acting veterans just having a blast.

Do not take anything too seriously in life, life ends, we all die, blah-blah-blah---that's the whole point of this movie. Two old timers about to kick the bucket (yes, that's where the title comes from) write up a list of things they want to do before they snuff it out.

Family-man Freeman and billionaire Nicholson seem like an unlikely pair at first, but their chemistry on and off-screen is truly captivating. It's like you'd never doubt that they could really be friends.

Watching this movie might make you want to write a bucket list of your own. Now that might seem pretty morbid at first, but as someone said, only two things in life are certain: death and taxes. And there's nothing wrong with being prepared.

Not really a tear-jerker, but the more emotional people might need to have something to wipe their eyes with.

Rating: Three and a half stars.