Random Thoughts: Kong: Skull Island IMAX 3D, or This Is Just the Start of a Monster Cinematic Universe

Cheat Sheet

Riding off into the sunset... to certain death.

•Okay, first thing's first. Kong is not a gorilla. He walks upright, like man. So this makes him more a primate than an ape. A primate that looks very much like a gorilla.

•Toby Kebbel dies. The actor I like more than the actual lead star Tom Hiddleston doesn't make it to the end. Why, oh why? Wait, I don't actually know who the lead star is. If it's the one that gets top billing, then it's Hiddleston. But if it's the one with the most screen time, I think it's Samuel L. Jackson. Or Kong.

•I'm not sure if the Richard Nixon bobblehead doll on the helicopter dashboard is an anachronism. Although bobblehead dolls did indeed exist during this period, my research has revealed that early bobblehead dolls had generic faces, with very few specifically recognisable heads, and I don't think Nixon was that popular to warrant his own line of mass-produced bobbleheads.

•The curly-haired Latino scientist–the one who expressed his desire to just stay on the boat–got killed by being snatched from the boat by some flying creature. His death reminded me very much of the accountant's in Jurassic Park.

•Samuel L. Jackson says one of my favourite Samuel L. Jackson lines ever: "Hold on to your butts." This line was, again, from Jurassic Park.

YouTube

"Problem?"

•Samuel L. Jackson has no redemption. He died a true villain. He didn't even let Kong live. Not even when they had eye contact while Kong was down, when "the big one" was making its way to them. Damn you, Mr. Jackson.

•This film, by the way, is set during the tail-end of the Vietnam War, in case you didn't get the Apocalypse Now vibe this movie seems to be giving off.

•Tom Hiddleston looks great in rugged themes. Yes, he looks great as Loki, but the rugged, unshaven look suits him better. Like how he looked like in The Night Manager. But seriously, what happened to his badassery? The first time we see him, he beats up guys at the pool table, and even breaks a cue stick on his knee. He never followed through on that badassery.

•Kong is huge. Like extremely huge. This is probably the biggest incarnation of Kong on the big screen ever. So it makes sense to see this film on the biggest screen known to man: IMAX. In fact, despite not being shot in IMAX nor in 3D, it seems IMAX 3D is the best format to see this film in.

•This film utilises great CGI. However, the creature designs, not so great. Those skull crawlers? Terrible. I mean, what're they supposed to be? Half-evolved lizard snakes? Ugh.

•And now we go to the end credits scene. So what is their mission now? Is this going to be like a monster cinematic universe? Apparently, it seems like they're serious about the idea.

PJ Media

"God damn, you're ugly."

Kong: Skull Island. USA. 2017.



Original rating: 7.9/10
No Brie Larson nudity: -0.1
Eugene Cordero: +0.1
John Goodman as a despicable character: -0.1
Toby Kebbel dying: -0.1
Samuel L. Jackson dying: +0.1
Final rating: 7.8/10

Review: Ben-Hur, o Bakit Laging Gwapo ang mga Jesus Christ sa Pelikula?

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Podrace sa Tatooine. Joke lang.

Matagal na ang kwento ni Ben-Hur. Ang source material nito ay ang nobelang Ben-Hur: A Tale of the Christ ni Lew Wallace noong 1880, at mula noon ay nagkaroon ng maraming cinematic adaptation. Ang pinakasikat nito ay 'yung Ben-Hur noong 1959 starring Charlton Heston na nanalo ng Oscar para sa performance niya rito. Kaya sa mga nalilito pa rin, fictional po si Ben-Hur. Hindi po siya historical figure.

Wala namang problema ang pelikulang ito story-wise, kasi nga ito ay pang-ilang remake na ng isang sikat na nobela noong turn of the 20th century. The fact na nakailang remake na ito ay proof na maganda ang kwentong ito, so palakpakan natin si Lew Wallace. Siguro kung may isang problema sa kwento, ito ay ang kakulangan sa exposition ng sitwasyon sa Jerusalem noon. Hindi naman kasi lahat ng manonood nito ay Kristiyano, kaya mas mainam sana kung mas naipaliwanag pa nila ito. Although hindi ko pa nababasa ang libro ni Wallace, sa tingin ko mas malaki ang part ni Jesus Christ sa kwento, kaya nga "A Tale of the Christ" ang subtitle ng libro e. Siguro kung mas nadagdagan pa ang bahagi ni Rodrigo Santoro as Jesus, at kung ang Jesus scenes ay naitahi nang maayos sa main narrative, baka mas nasiyahan pa ang mga critics.

Patheos

Pa-gwapuhan ang labanan ng mga Jesus Christ sa Hollywood.

Performance-wise, maayos naman ang pinakita ni Jack Huston bilang Judah Ben-Hur (literal translation: Judah, anak ni Hur). Maalala niyo siya bilang hitman na kalahati ang mukha sa TV show na Boardwalk Empire, kung saan ang acting niya ay subtle pero very effective. Dito, ayos naman ang acting niya. He doesn't shine, but he delivers. Si Toby Kebbell, on the other hand, ay magaling. Bilang adopted brother at future rival ni Judah, nakuha niya ang effective villainy, 'yung may transformation pa mula mabait hanggang masama, at kung saan ang kasamaan niya ay hindi niya sinasadya at napilit lang sa kanya.

Phase9.tv

Sa anggulong ito, medyo kamukha niya 'yung character niya sa Warcraft.

Meanwhile, si Morgan Freeman naman ay typical Morgan Freeman. Masungit pero mabait na old man ang tipong role na swak na swak sa kanya. Halatang sinulit ng producers ang talent fee niya, dahil maririnig sa simula ng pelikula ang boses niya bilang voice-over narration. Nakaka-distract lang ang close-up shots niya, dahil nakikita ko ang mga nunal niya sa mukha na parang monggo bread. Tsaka 'yung dreadlocks, diyos ko po. Parang mop. Pekeng-peke at nakaka-distract.

Gospel Herald

"Ano ba problema? Hindi ba bagay sa akin ang rasta look?"

Wala rin namang problema sa direksiyon ni Timur Bekmambetov, na kung naaalala niyo ay siya ring nag-direct ng Wanted. Si Bekmambetov ay magaling sa mga action sequence, kaya naman ang sikat na chariot race sequence sa huli ay sobrang nakakadala. Pero honestly, sayang naman ang directing prowess ni Bekmambetov kung another remake lang ang gagawin niya.

Sa palagay ko, the world doesn't need another Ben-Hur movie. Kung gusto ng Hollywood ng mas marami pang sword-and-sandal epics, marami pang magagandang kwento sa Bible na hindi pa naisasa-pelikula. Pero para sa mga kabataan ngayon, dapat niyo nga itong panoorin kung ang kilala niyo lang na Ben-Hur ay si Ben-Hur Abalos.

Trailer List

Hmmm... cross? Okay, gets.

Ben-Hur. USA. 2016.



Original na rating: 7/10
Walang Ayelet Zurer nudity: -0.1
Walang Nazanin Boniadi nudity: -0.1
Chariot race sequence: +0.1
Naval battle sequence: +0.1
Dreadlocks ni Morgan Freeman: -0.1
Kagwapuhan ni Rodrigo Santoro: -0.1
Final na rating: 6.8/10

RocknRolla

Another one of 'em Guy Ritchie creations. If you're familiar with the movie feel of Snatch, then this one's pretty similar. Guy's films are like carnival rides. Once you begin the movie, the ride starts and then ends after the end credits. I know that description sucked, but you get my drift.

As I've said earlier, RocknRolla's like Snatch in a lot of ways. It overwhelms you with "Guy Ritchie Camera Shots" (you know, the fast panning and swift transitions, you know the fuckin' drill). It's also set in London, with the usual London gangsters. Lenny Cole's similar to Snatch's Brick Top.

Turkish's role is similar to that of One-Two's. Plus there's also a missing thing involved, which is the Russian's painting, while in Snatch, it's Cousin' Avi's diamond. The Russians in RocknRolla can also be compared to the Jews of Snatch, due to race I guess.

And Guy's penchant for shredding out facts while doin' a certain scene clearly shows here in RocknRolla (when Lenny explains how the local fish species was completely wiped out by its American counterparts in the River Thames). Back in Snatch, it's Brick Top explaining how starved pigs could chew through human bone and flesh like butter.

Another thing that could be compared if you ask me is Jason Statham and Mark Strong's narrating ala Fight Club's Edward Norton.

Now for the actors who stood out...

Gerard Butler a.k.a. "One-Two"- It's in this flick wherein I fully got to appreciate Gerard Butler's acting, even if he's in his comfort zone, which is doin' roles in his native accent. His dancing really blew me away, that's all I can say.

Idris Elba a.k.a. "Mumbles"- If it wasn't for The Losers, I wouldn't recognize this fucker.
Favorite line: "If I could be half the human being Bob is at the cost of being a poof, I'd have to think about it. Not for very long, but I'd have to pause."

Tom Wilkinson a.k.a. "Lenny Cole"- Really has the greedy and evil look in him, just like in Batman Begins. Can you say he's got that "Gangster/Mafia" look?
Favorite line: "There's no school like old school, and I'm the fuckin' headmaster!"

Mark Strong a.k.a. "Archy"- Really looks familiar, but he wasn't really under my radar 'till Kick-Ass came out. A very solid performer, who can hold his own in every character he portrays. I really digged (yeah it's dug I know, but digged sounds more appropriate nowadays I think) how he interrupted Roman and Mickey in their studio usin' the studio microphone. Hilarious shit!

Thandie Newton a.k.a. "Stella [The Accountant]"- Reminded me a lot of Zoe Saldana. I also found her sexy when she started dancin' freakishly in that party when they were discussin' the second job (or rather, "the heist").

Toby Kebbell a.k.a. "Johnny Quid"- Acted like a true rock 'n rolla, no pun intended. That's because here, he plays a rock star who was always presumed dead. As the sayin' goes, "Rock stars are more famous when they're dead. Johnny Quid's just cashin' in."

Tom Hardy a.k.a. "Handsome Bob"- If it wasn't for my bro's trained eye, I wouldn't have noticed that this was the same dude who played Eames in my third favorite movie, which is none other than Inception (the first being The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus while the second one is The Matrix).

Lastly, RocknRolla's soundtrack sounded cool too. Full of old school rock songs! I give RocknRolla a 9 out of 10, due in large part to my bias for Guy Ritchie flicks. All I can say is that this flick fuckin' rocks!


*image from firstshowing.net