Review: The Lone Ranger

If you mix the ingredients of Gore Verbinski, Johnny Depp, and Walt Disney Pictures, you'd think that you would always end up with a Pirates of the Caribbean movie blockbuster.

They obviously had no Helena Bonham Carter inserted here.

But you're wrong!

Let's play "Spot the Pirate".

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

I cannot imagine how a film can squeeze so many veteran (and I don't mean "aged") actors in a film. Since Love Actually, a lot have attempted to achieve the same result, but none have ever replicated its success. Some came close, but still not quite. Until The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. And alas! It's still from the English.

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel is a place for the "elderly and beautiful" in Jaipur, India. And it's where our veteran (this time, I mean "aged") characters are drawn to when their current life circumstances left them feeling alone, lonely, or wanting. Okay, that doesn't sound like Love Actually at all, but this film reminded me of it.

It's a bunch-of-characters-in-one-film kind of similar, eh? 

Mission: Impossible─Ghost Protocol

Since this was released on my birthay, this now becomes my new nickname. GP. Ghost Protocol. Get it? Geddit?

Whatever. Anyway, this is Brad Bird's live action directorial debut. If you dismissed him as a director of children's films, think again. This guy did The Incredibles, so he knows a thing or two about action sequences. And this film is proof of that. Good call also for choosing to shoot some scenes in IMAX, like The Dark Knight. This becomes evident from the opening shot of Budapest, showing the crispness and clarity of the images. Clearly, IMAX is the HD of film.

Trust me, this looks damn good in IMAX.

Now let us analyze the IMF team. Or rather, the Ghost Protocol team. That's because IMF is no more. It has been disavowed in its entirety. (I've loved the word "disavowed" ever since the first Mission: Impossible film.)

Being disavowed never looked this cool.

Ethan Hunt: Tom Cruise is growing old. Of course, by himself, you'd think he's still the eternally youthful Maverick from Top Gun. But side-by-side with Jeremy Renner, you can clearly see the difference. I think they put Renner in this flick so he can continue the franchise in case Cruise decides to choose not to accept any more missions.

"Wheeeeee!"

William Brandt: This is Jeremy Renner's M:I debut, but from what I heard, he'll be taking over the Bourne franchise. Will it present a conflict of interest for him, being Hollywood's action go-to guy? Will it put pressure on his career?

"What pressure?"

Jane Carter: Paula Patton is maybe the hottest IMF girl since Maggie Q. She kind of looks like Alicia Keys with higher cheekbones. And she can kick ass.

Benji Dunn: Simon Pegg returns from the previous M:I flick, and here he is promoted to field agent. The thing with Pegg is that the audience knows he's there for comic relief, yet somehow he might disappoint some fans who are expecting some slapstick sidekick action. Benji Dunn is a serious field agent with some funny moments, not a funny field agent with serious moments. Nice to know the difference.

"Well, this review says I'm more than comic relief, Cruise."

This film brings us back to the true roots of Mission: Impossible. My favorite film is still the first one, directed by Brian De Palma, because it captures the world of intrigue and espionage that differentiates M:I from, say, the world of James Bond. And we have a lot of great action sequences here, especially the Kremlin sequence,

Where it goes kaboom.

showing us some of the brilliant gadgets the IMF has,

And the product placements from Apple.

and also showing us that Ethan Hunt doesn't need any facial masks to be called a master of disguise. In fact, Hunt doesn't put on any masks for this flick. That task is left to Michael Nyqvist, who is enjoying a successful Hollywood crossover after his Swedish Millenium films. Good job, Nyqvist's agent.

And since we're on the subject of the supporting cast, I'd just like to say that Léa Seydoux (who plays the assassin Sabine Moreau) is cute, and Anil Kapoor's acting (which I loved since Slumdog Millionaire) was perfect. Too bad though that Tom Wilkinson died before he even got out of the car.



Mission: Impossible─Ghost Protocol. USA. 2011.

Rating: Seven and a half out of ten.




*some info from IMDb and Wikipedia

The Green Hornet

"Losing thirty pounds sure has its benefits!"

If you artsy-fartsy freaks don't want to watch this because it's a senseless Hollywood action movie, the fact that it was directed by Michel Gondry might change your mind.

I do have some memories of the old reruns which starred Bruce Lee, but I don't remember it having a comedic feel to it. The old TV series had the same feel as Adam West's Batman. This had the feel of, let me think, Charlie's Angels probably? Half parts action and comedy. But this film had no shortage of laughs.

And we can thank Seth Rogen for that. This was the first time I've noticed Seth Rogen's unique style of comedy. Rogen's comedy is intelligent, but on the outside it seems crass and shallow─perfect for moviegoers of average intelligence. Most of the time, Rogen seems to just be mouthing off random strings of thought until he nails something funny, and from there proceeds to develop his other jokes, which actually turn out to be humorously smart. And surprisingly, there are no weed jokes or references. Except maybe when he exhaled the fart gas smoke through his nose.

But everyone knows he smokes that shit.

Great cameo from James Franco, by the way. Too bad he didn't last ten minutes into the film. But every second of his screen time was priceless.

Cameron Diaz still looks hot despite her pretty obvious aging. She's growing old, but so does everyone else on this planet. Let us now enjoy her while she still looks scrumptious, and it will only take a little imagination on our part to fantasize about her looking as young as she did in The Mask.

Just try not to imagine Jim Carrey in a green mask.

Edward James Olmos is old. But still good. Although his face looks really... old. Tom Wilkinson, on the other hand, can play old roles, but his face doesn't look that old. And I love hearing Wilkinson talk in an American accent.

Oh, and one last thing: the guy who plays Kato is NOT Harold from Harold and Kumar. Kato is played by Jay Chou, who is actually an Asian pop star. This gives new meaning to the words of Chris Tucker regarding Asian guys: "Y'all look alike!"

Above: Not Kato.

*some info from IMDb
pic from Pinoy Tutorial, Sensi Seeds, Obama Pacman, and Ace Showbiz


The Green Hornet. USA. 2011.


Rating: Seven out of ten.

RocknRolla

Another one of 'em Guy Ritchie creations. If you're familiar with the movie feel of Snatch, then this one's pretty similar. Guy's films are like carnival rides. Once you begin the movie, the ride starts and then ends after the end credits. I know that description sucked, but you get my drift.

As I've said earlier, RocknRolla's like Snatch in a lot of ways. It overwhelms you with "Guy Ritchie Camera Shots" (you know, the fast panning and swift transitions, you know the fuckin' drill). It's also set in London, with the usual London gangsters. Lenny Cole's similar to Snatch's Brick Top.

Turkish's role is similar to that of One-Two's. Plus there's also a missing thing involved, which is the Russian's painting, while in Snatch, it's Cousin' Avi's diamond. The Russians in RocknRolla can also be compared to the Jews of Snatch, due to race I guess.

And Guy's penchant for shredding out facts while doin' a certain scene clearly shows here in RocknRolla (when Lenny explains how the local fish species was completely wiped out by its American counterparts in the River Thames). Back in Snatch, it's Brick Top explaining how starved pigs could chew through human bone and flesh like butter.

Another thing that could be compared if you ask me is Jason Statham and Mark Strong's narrating ala Fight Club's Edward Norton.

Now for the actors who stood out...

Gerard Butler a.k.a. "One-Two"- It's in this flick wherein I fully got to appreciate Gerard Butler's acting, even if he's in his comfort zone, which is doin' roles in his native accent. His dancing really blew me away, that's all I can say.

Idris Elba a.k.a. "Mumbles"- If it wasn't for The Losers, I wouldn't recognize this fucker.
Favorite line: "If I could be half the human being Bob is at the cost of being a poof, I'd have to think about it. Not for very long, but I'd have to pause."

Tom Wilkinson a.k.a. "Lenny Cole"- Really has the greedy and evil look in him, just like in Batman Begins. Can you say he's got that "Gangster/Mafia" look?
Favorite line: "There's no school like old school, and I'm the fuckin' headmaster!"

Mark Strong a.k.a. "Archy"- Really looks familiar, but he wasn't really under my radar 'till Kick-Ass came out. A very solid performer, who can hold his own in every character he portrays. I really digged (yeah it's dug I know, but digged sounds more appropriate nowadays I think) how he interrupted Roman and Mickey in their studio usin' the studio microphone. Hilarious shit!

Thandie Newton a.k.a. "Stella [The Accountant]"- Reminded me a lot of Zoe Saldana. I also found her sexy when she started dancin' freakishly in that party when they were discussin' the second job (or rather, "the heist").

Toby Kebbell a.k.a. "Johnny Quid"- Acted like a true rock 'n rolla, no pun intended. That's because here, he plays a rock star who was always presumed dead. As the sayin' goes, "Rock stars are more famous when they're dead. Johnny Quid's just cashin' in."

Tom Hardy a.k.a. "Handsome Bob"- If it wasn't for my bro's trained eye, I wouldn't have noticed that this was the same dude who played Eames in my third favorite movie, which is none other than Inception (the first being The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus while the second one is The Matrix).

Lastly, RocknRolla's soundtrack sounded cool too. Full of old school rock songs! I give RocknRolla a 9 out of 10, due in large part to my bias for Guy Ritchie flicks. All I can say is that this flick fuckin' rocks!


*image from firstshowing.net

Valkyrie

Less than five minutes into the film, I already stopped it in my head.

Why?

Because Tom Cruise spoke English.

I already mentioned in my earlier reviews about effective realism (if I want to coin the word, I'm going to have to do an academic paper on it, which of course I will NOT do), and I wish all movies would follow the same trend. Inglourious Basterds, for instance, also used effective realism. If you're going to do a film about the Germans, then please make them speak German. Or at least make them all look Aryan. I mean, they could at least have dyed Tom Cruise's hair blonde, to make him look more German and less all-American pretty boy. Didn't Tom Cruise look good as Lestat, who had blonde hair?

Also, the story kind of--there's no better word for it--sucked. I don't know if it was director Bryan Singer's fault, or the scriptwriters', but suck it did.

But what saved this film was the production design (excellent uniforms and props, and that annoying eyeball that Cruise keeps in his pocket), and the performance of Tom Wilkinson. He is fast becoming my favorite "fierce old guy" actor. I hope he isn't a fierce old guy in real life.

Oh, and also, Bill Nighy was here. Only I don't know which character he played. He was so damn good, he escaped my eye. I only saw him on the IMDb cast list.


*some info from IMDb
pic from specialcomment.wordpress.com


Valkyrie. USA. 2008.


Rating: Six out of ten.
Tom Cruise's eyeball: One out of ten.

Duplicity

Just because a movie has Clive Owen, Julia Roberts, Tom Wilkinson, and Paul Giamatti in it, doesn't mean it won't be boring.

The thing is, it may be an espionage flick (which I love), and it may have spy-thriller editing, but the script, honestly, was a bit confusing. It's the type of film that you may need to watch twice or thrice to get the true plot.

This film was written and directed by Tony Gilroy, and the screenplay was all right, since Mr. Gilroy is already a veteran screenwriter. But something was amiss, and it most probably was the directing.

A real cinematic gem is something you can appreciate the first time, and like fine wine, gets better and better the more you watch it.

And since I didn't appreciate this film the first time...I'm sorry Mr. Gilroy. But I'll give you a passing score, if just for that slow-motion fight scene between Paul Giamatti and Tom Wilkinson in the opening credits (see pic).


*some info from IMDb
pic from zap2it.com


Duplicity. USA. 2009.


Rating: Six and a half out of ten.
Paul Giamatti and Tom Wilkinson's fight scene: Eight out of ten.