The Little Matrix Corner Movie Called The Adjustment Bureau

I can remember when "love" sucked for Neo and Trinity...

Reloaded: Neo returning the favor in high, transcendental fashion.

...and when it didn't ─ and worked!

Being the man that I am, I tear up only when Keanu cries like a kid.

Homeland. Season 1

Showtime

If you follow the American awards for television, then you've surely heard of the series Homeland. If you don't, let me refresh your memory.

It won two Golden Globes...

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series - Drama
Claire Danes
Best Television Series - Drama

Showtime

"I'm not crazy. Just a really good actress. In a drama series."

Downton Abbey. Series 2 + 2011 Christmas Special

(For the purpose of this review, Downton Abbey Series 2 means its eight episodes and the 2011 Christmas Special. All right, let's get on to it.)

I'm just going to make this quick and easy (and because the third season has just begun this month). The last time we were at Downton Abbey, it was just announced that England is at war with Germany. And what did the war bring to people of Downton? Drama. Lots of it.

"Whatever do you mean, me dear? We are a drama series."

Suits. Season 1

USA

I've never been interested in courtroom dramas, or any other shows involving lawyers. Boston Legal, Ally McBeal─never watched them. Except for this show.

Now I don't know exactly what made me watch Suits. But I think I have an idea.

1. Mike Ross (Patrick J. Adams) is a pot-smoking genius.
This is a role that will resonate with pot smokers everywhere. I think every pothead deep down inside wants to prove to the world that "Hey, I'm smarter than you, and I smoke weed everyday." But then you find out the reason Mike Ross can actually get away with pretending to be a lawyer is because he has eidetic memory, which I really wouldn't mind having.

2. Great characters.
We don't even have to discuss the great chemistry between Harvey Specter (Gabriel Macht) and Mike Ross. Beyond those two are other great characters, such as Donna (Sarah Rafferty) the ever-efficient secretary, and Louis Litt (Rick Hoffman), the ever-annoying douchebag.

3. The pop culture references.
The writers of the show are undoubtedly 80s kids, like me. Only 80s kids will laugh at references that other 80s kids make.

So here are the individual microreviews of every episode for season 1. Clicking on the episode title links back to the original post.

1. "Pilot"

Thanks to a friend, who recommended it from a friend.

Anybody who ever dreamed of becoming a lawyer, or anybody who seriously wants to become a lawyer, or anybody who's taking up law, or anyone who's already a lawyer─this show is for you.

So what's it about? Lawyers, of course. And all the dirty underhanded tactics that go with being one. The title is actually a play on the word "suit", which can mean both a lawsuit and an Armani.

USA

"My suit is better than yours."

This is of course about Rookies and Pros, about Masters and Apprentices. And also about chicks. Yup, the legal world is full of chicks.

USA

All the chicks from Episode 1 alone.
And yes, if it came to it, I would tap that black African-American ass.

So if you want to be a lawyer, better learn to play chess like one. And by chess, I mean real, live chess. Like reading people, and pressing where it hurts.

USA

This also includes tips on dealing
with douchebag lawyers like him.

I loved The Godfather and Batman references. (Strangely, no one wants to be Christian Bale. Probably because these guys are American.)

One thing I learned here: it is possible to smoke pot and still retain your brilliance. But sooner or later, you'd have to stop, of course. But it still is possible. Kind of reminds me of someone.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, on to the second episode.

Young Adult

I heard some award buzz for Charlize Theron in this film, for playing Mavis Gary—a young-adult-series ghost-writer, who's recently divorced and is probably an alcoholic—very well. And it's no surprise; she was convincing playing a pathetic girl.

She still looks hot, though.

Mavis decides to go back to her hometown to snatch his former boyfriend from his wife and newborn and live happily ever after. Only, the results aren't what she hoped for, and it's not really a surprise, because she's totally disillusioned.

"This is color splash is called fashion, people!" 

Promising premise? Maybe. But there is really nothing else to it. It could have been a late coming-of-age thing. Theron was so convincing, you'll just really feel very sorry for her and that's that. Treatment is kind of a bore, and Mavis didn't really grow much. But the movie has its tagline in the bag: "Some people grow old but never grow up", or something like that.

Even her dog walked all over her. 

I couldn't believe this was written by Diablo Cody and directed by Jason Reitman—the same team behind Juno, which I think had a really great story and overall treatment. Young Adult, for me doesn't even come close. I understand it's a different material, of course, but then again...

Like a cool Mini Cooper, only a really broken one. (What?)

Young Adult gets a five out of 10, for failing capitalize on Charlize Theron's awesome acting skills and leaving the film bland in more ways than one.



*screencaps by VLC

Shame

Curiosity took the better of me, so I watched Shame for a glimpse of Magneto's... er, Michael Fassbender's thing without any idea what the film was about. And if I were to describe my first impression of this film after watching it: soft porn. But it's not really that; or rather, it's more than that.

Brandon (Fassbender) is a sex addict disconnected with his family and everyone else really, enjoying his privacy and indulging in several acts of sexual pleasure. But when his troubled sister Sissy (Carey Mulligan) comes to stay with him, his whole world shatters. Change is the only solution, but how could he manage that?

Either he just had sex or he just pleasured himself.

If you look past the suggested sex scenes and the sex scenes per se, you will see how lonely and alone Brandon is. I think, his sex addiction developed as a coping mechanism for underlying family and personal issues—just like Sissy  developed  a coping mechanism of her own, too. The beauty of Fassbender's portrayal is that you can clearly see that Brandon is struggling. He's ashamed of himself in so many ways that he couldn't even try to open himself to another person for fear of being judged.

Stop walking in on my masturbating, okay, you cutter biatch?

Just a side thought though while watching the film: "Are these numerous sex scenes absolutely necessary?" The implied sex scenes really worked well. And while I don't squirm at sex scenes, actual pumping in the nude was kind of distracting. But I guess it comes with the story and to establish the character.

Yes, they're even kind of putting on a show.

Shame gets a six out of ten, for digging deep inside a sex addict's psyche, good casting choice, but bordering on "I can put as many sex scenes as I deem fit."



*screencaps by VLC

The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore

No, it's not a book (yet!), but an animated short film.

Actually, you can watch in on the Internet. And yes, it's a good one. Not convinced?

Plus 13 other awards worldwide.

No spoken words, only sound effects and the nursery rhyme and song "Pop! Goes The Weasel". Sort of Pixar-like in terms of animation, but Moonbot Studios used a combination of hand-drawn and digital animation, and miniatures similar to stop-motion animation—that's why it looked like some elements pop up from the frame. Definitely Pixar-like in terms of heart, and if you have no idea what heart is, please watch Toy Story 3 or Up.

See? Just like Up, only with books and a man.

Worth every second of its 15-minute running time, like a good book is worth every turn of a page—you only need to open a one and read (or in this case, hit play)...

The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore gets an eight out of ten, for being short and sweet, and everything else in between (wait, what?).



*screenaps from TheInspirationRoom.com,  MorrisLessmore.com, Trendsnow.net
**video on Youtube.com

Review: The Borgias. Season 1, or Why Catholicism is Still the Most Badass Religion in the World

Showtime

Most Catholics are just born into their religions. One of, or both, their parents were Catholics, usually. But they don't really know how badass their religion is. Every form of Christianity branched out from the Catholic line. Catholics have the most extravagant buildings, and have the most expensive, gold-laden artifacts ever. They have lots and lots of real estate, and in most predominantly-Catholic countries, are exempt from paying taxes.

But if you're a Catholic and think that your religion has been goody-goody since the time Christians were thrown into lion's dens, think again. Showtime (the same people who brought you Dexter) now brings you Catholic drama that will make you cringe with shame. Ladies and gentlemen, one of the most reviled persons not just in Christian history, but in the history of the world, I give you Rodrigo Borgia, a.k.a. Pope Alexander VI, portrayed by Jeremy Irons, who also voiced the equally despicable Uncle Scar from The Lion King.

1. "The Poisoned Chalice"

Showtime

Cardinal Borgia in pre-orgasm.

When Jesus Christ offered his blood in a cup, he didn't realize that hundreds of years later, his successors would be spilling blood by offering poison in a chalice. This is crime on a higher scale, a heavenly scale even. Which is why even the Pope is humbled by the sheer weight of his office. But only for a few seconds. The Renaissance Popes were never humble.

Community Season 2 Review, or Now Let's Move On to Season 3

One good thing about Community is that even if it's set in a college, it's not about college. It's about life. It treats college as a microcosm of life, with all it ups, downs, relationships, friendships, and other scholastic what-not.

Anyway, if you remember what happened in the season finale, you'd think to yourself, "How are they going to get themselves out of that mess?" And how are they, really? Let's find out.

1. "Anthropology 101"

VLC

Yes, we know. Yuck.

First on the agenda: Get the study group out of the mess that they're in. The mess created by Britta (Gillian Jacob)'s profession of love to Jeff (Joel McHale), and then his subsequent make-out session with Annie (Alison Brie). But you can't start a 22-episode season with awkwardness. So what do you do? Erase everything. Clean slate. And suspend your disbelief, even for just this episode.

And since this is the season opener, we're entitled to a really great end credits sequence. No, it's not "Donde Esta La Biblioteca?" That's so season 1.

The Iron Lady Review, or La Streep Is Beautiful, But This Film Is Not

YouTube

Despite sounding like a movie about Josef Stalin's wife, this is actually about Margaret Thatcher, the first female Prime Minister of Great Britain. And to answer the number one FAQ: Yes, she still lives.

The Guardian

"Yes, I'm alive. And so is my hat."

Seeing Meryl Streep in her Oscar-winning performance made me realize that La Streep, even with make-up to make her look old, still looks very attractive. Also, she can do a decent British accent.

The Guardian

"I can also sing British New Wave songs on karaoke."

This film, however, is quite boring. First, because it makes Thatcher's Alzheimer's an integral part of the story. I'm not even sure she had Alzheimer's, to be honest.

Metro

"What do you mean you're not sure?"

Second, there wasn't really any strong narrative. Like, if Thatcher was played by any other actress, I wouldn't even watch this.

Gaming Squid

:-(

And so to draw in the younger audiences, the casting department decided to throw in one actor from Harry Potter, and three actors from Game of Thrones.

Professor Horace Slughorn

Jim Broadbent

Blogger

"Sometimes I'm mistaken for Alan Alda."

Magister Illyrio Mopatis

Roger Allam

Covering Media

"Meh."

Viserys Targaryen

Harry Lloyd

Tumblr

"Want a pretzel?"

Ser Jorah Mormont

Iain Glen

Tumblr

"I won't get to fuck Daenerys in Season 2? Why?"

If they altered reality a little bit and featured Margaret Thatcher and Ronald Reagan having sex, that might've drawn a bigger box office crowd.



The Iron Lady. UK/France. 2011.



Rating: Six out of ten.

Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close Review, or Extremely Boring and Incredibly Zzzzz

YouTube

Wait... this seems like a movie about 9-11. Which means this is a drama. Boring!

YouTube

That's obviously CGI.

But wait... this doesn't tackle the terrorist angle that 9-11 films usually go for. This tackles the journey of a young boy as he tries to make ends meet after his father's death. Which still means this is a drama. Boring!

Q: What should the filmmakers do to make this more interesting and less boring?
A: Throw in two Academy award-winners. One Best Actress winner by the name of Sandra Bullock, and another back-to-back Best Actor winner by the name of Tom Hanks.

All Movie Photo

"My... what a boring script!"

Okay, Sandra Bullock's part was a bit tear-jerky. But Tom Hanks part was... boring!

All Movie Photo

"You watch your mouth, young man."

Q: What else should the filmmakers do to appease the fans who are annoyed by the mere presence of Sandra Bullock and Tom Hanks?
A: Throw in a lot of familiar faces with decent acting abilities.

1. Viola Davis

All Movie Photo

"I don't care if this film blows. I'm nominated
for The Help, anyway."

2. John Goodman

YouTube

"I don't care if this film blows. I'm in The Artist, anyway."

3. Jeffrey Wright

Covering Media

"I don't care if this film blows.
I'm in The Ides of March, anyway."

4. Max Von Sydow

All Movie Photo

"It's von-see-dough, not von-sigh-dough."

Q: What should the filmmakers do to guarantee that this film doesn't win Best Picture?
A: Cast an annoying kid in the lead role.

YouTube

The eyes should be a dead giveaway.

Don't get me wrong. This film has a lot of touching moments. But they've been successfully negated by the mere presence of this kid named Thomas Horn.

Okay, before we go, here's the trailer, along with one good and one bad thing about it.

The Good: The use of my favorite U2 song ever, "Where the Streets Have No Name".
The Bad: The false promise that James Gandolfini would be in it.

YouTube

Thou shalt not falsely advertise Tony Soprano.

Wait, one last thing before we go.

Tumblr

And yes, I just had to put this in here. 

Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close. USA. 2011.



Rating: Six and a half out of ten.



You might also want to read mumblingmaya's review.

The Descendants Review, or How to Give a Heavy Topic a Light Treatment

YouTube

The whole film can actually be summarized by analyzing just one character in the story. And it's this character:

Lights, Camera, Austin

"Woah, dude."

That's actor Nick Krause, who plays Sid, the boyfriend of George Clooney's daughter Alexandra. That's his role. But what is his purpose?

His purpose is simply as a tension-diffuser. Because of the tragic turn of family events, the King family needs to talk to the rest of their relatives. Alex, however, hates those kinds of things. So she takes Sid along, because in her own words, "I'll be a lot more civil with him around." So Sid's purpose is to diffuse the tension, and to act as comic relief, both of which he does pretty well.

All Movie Photo

The girl on the left is my new Hollywood crush, Shailene Woodley.

And that is the same thing that Alexander Payne does with the film. The story is actually pretty heavy, involving boating accidents, comatose patients, and cheating wives. But director Alexander Payne masterfully balances all this by giving the film a humorous treatment. You won't quite appreciate how good a director Payne is until you realize that the film probably wouldn't work as well if its treatment was as heavy as its story.



The Descendants. USA. 2011.



Rating: Eight out of ten.
Scene where Sid gets punched in the face for laughing at the old woman with Alzheimer's: Nine and a half out of ten.
Shailene Woodley: Nine out of ten.

The Big Year Review, or Having Three Comedians Doesn't Necessarily Mean It's a Comedy

YouTube

EXPECTATION

This is going to be a riotously funny comedy, all on the strength of the three lead stars, Messrs. Jack Black, Steve Martin, and Luke Owen Wilson. I think this movie will deliver a lot of laughs to the point that would make my stomache ache with laughter.

All Movie Photo

Look at the three of them with their binoculars. So funny.

REALITY

No, this is not a comedy at all. Having three very talented and extremely funny comedians topbilling this film is not a guarantee of side-splitting laughter.

All Movie Photo

"Really? We're not funny?"

The Big Year is a feel-good movie, closer to a drama than a comedy, and even closer to a documentary than a comedy. It's about birding, or birdwatching, a legitimate hobby that inspired me to search for my own hobby that doesn't require too much equipment. It also tells the story of three birders (I just assumed that's what they're called), and narrates their personal struggle alongside their birding.

This film isn't that funny. That's because it's not a comedy. But it's a great movie, one that would teach viewers more than just the names, plumages, and songs of the birds of North America.



The Big Year. USA. 2011.



Rating: Seven and a half out of ten.