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Less than five minutes into the film, I already stopped it in my head.


Because Tom Cruise spoke English.

I already mentioned in my earlier reviews about effective realism (if I want to coin the word, I'm going to have to do an academic paper on it, which of course I will NOT do), and I wish all movies would follow the same trend. Inglourious Basterds, for instance, also used effective realism. If you're going to do a film about the Germans, then please make them speak German. Or at least make them all look Aryan. I mean, they could at least have dyed Tom Cruise's hair blonde, to make him look more German and less all-American pretty boy. Didn't Tom Cruise look good as Lestat, who had blonde hair?

Also, the story kind of--there's no better word for it--sucked. I don't know if it was director Bryan Singer's fault, or the scriptwriters', but suck it did.

But what saved this film was the production design (excellent uniforms and props, and that annoying eyeball that Cruise keeps in his pocket), and the performance of Tom Wilkinson. He is fast becoming my favorite "fierce old guy" actor. I hope he isn't a fierce old guy in real life.

Oh, and also, Bill Nighy was here. Only I don't know which character he played. He was so damn good, he escaped my eye. I only saw him on the IMDb cast list.

*some info from IMDb
pic from specialcomment.wordpress.com

Valkyrie. USA. 2008.

Rating: Six out of ten.
Tom Cruise's eyeball: One out of ten.


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