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"Let's try and do that dance John Travolta did in Pulp Fiction."

Once Upon a Time...in Hollywood is the ninth film from director Quentin Tarantino (Kill Bill Volumes 1 and 2 count as one film). He's famously quoted as dead set on doing only ten films during his career, so I guess that leaves just one more film left before he supposedly retires.

After watching this film, I've come to a not-so-shocking discovery: Quentin Tarantino is actually not the Hollywood wunderkind a lot of people think him to be.

That wasn't some haphazardly drawn conclusion as well. Tarantino displayed some directorial lapses in this film, lapses that may be forgiven for first-time directors, but not for someone who's on his ninth film. Actually, I counted only two lapses, but that's still two more than what should be expected of him. The two lapses I'm talking about involve a mismatched cut, and a horribly composed shot. There's also a minor lapse in the very first scene, but I'll let that slide because 1) it's more of having a feeling that something's off rather than being able to pinpoint what's off exactly; and 2) I watched this to be entertained, not to nitpick.

By the way, I'm not here to bash Quentin Tarantino's work. What he has going for him, definitely, is his original storytelling. Each and every single Tarantino-directed film is an original screenplay. He's never been lured by the chance to direct a superhero flick, or a film based on a book. Tarantino's films have their own cinematic universe, and I can think of no other filmmaker right now who never took off his auteur cap in his entire career.

"I would say Chris Nolan, but he doesn't really write his own stuff."

Moving on to the actual review, I'd like to start with the acting. This film has two great actors in the lead roles, thanks to Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt, who play the actor-stuntman tandem of Rick Dalton and Cliff Booth. Now the dynamics of that relationship is quite complicated: the actor of course is seen as higher than a stuntman in the Hollywood pecking order, and this is reflected in Cliff Booth's other job as Dalton's driver. I think DiCaprio and Pitt were able to pull it off, although there are instances where you see them as equals rather than the pseudo-employer-employee relationship the two of them should have. You with me so far? I told you it's quite complicated.

I have also come to realise that Tarantino's foot fetish is now officially creepy. I mean, I wouldn't mind close-ups of feet, as long as it propels the story forward. But to show feet close-ups just for the sake of showing them? No, thank you. He even gave Dakota Fanning's feet some considerable screen time, and I've also just realised that Dakota Fanning has hideous feet.

And finally, my main problem with Tarantino movies – and this is just me – is his use of alternate realities. Some people call this "revisionist fiction", but I'll just stick to calling it alternate realities. Tarantino did this before in Inglorious Basterds, where the Basterds ended up killing Adolf Hitler (which we all know didn't happen at all). In this film, the Tate murders never happened, and the Manson Family killers ended up dead at the hands of Dalton and Booth. What's my problem with alternate realities, you ask? I don't know how to properly explain it, but I am of the opinion that realities must be kept separate. Sure, there can be an infinite number of realities, each one different from the others, but they must never merge. Sure, you can travel between realities, from one reality to another, but they must never merge. Why? Because merging realities is the first step to insanity. And when one takes the first step of the journey to insanity, coherence and clarity are the first to go.

"How about an alternate reality where I do a Tony Montana as Michael Corleone?"



Once Upon a Time...in Hollywood. USA/UK/China. 2019.



Original rating: 7.6/10
Al Pacino: +0.1
Brad Pitt: +0.1
Not enough Margot Robbie: -0.1
Margaret Qualley's armpit hair: -0.2
Old school Columbia Pictures logo: +0.1
Luke Perry: +0.1
Terrible Bruce Lee portrayal: -0.1
Charles Manson being played by same actor who played Manson in Netflix's Mindhunter: +0.1
Tarantino's foot fetish: -0.1
Final rating: 7.8/10
Squad goals: Break-even sa box-office.

Si David Ayer ay hindi naman terrible director.

Si David Ayer ay isang writer-director, at ito ay isang valuable commodity sa Hollywood. Ang problema lang ay may kapit sa kanya ang studio na parang asong may kadena sa leeg.

Ang Suicide Squad ay hindi naman terrible film. Totoo, ito'y isang bagong type ng ensemble movie sa aspetong puro anti-hero ang mga bida rito. Pero pakiramdam ko ay solid ang original draft ng screenplay ni Ayer, at feeling ko rin ay maayos naman ang director's cut ng pelikulang ito. Pero siyempre, hindi na natin ito malalaman, dahil ang ni-release sa mga sinehan ay hindi na director's cut. Ang napanood nating lahat ay ang version kung saan marami nang in-alter at pinakialaman ang producers.

"Aminado naman akong mas magaling si Heath Ledger e!"

Ang isang ensemble movie ay isang genre ng pelikula kung saan maraming characters ang bumubuo ng cast, at kung saan ang bawat character rito ay isang protagonist. Ito'y bagong genre lang, at ako lang ang nagpauso ng pangalang ito; nagsimula ito siyempre sa The Avengers ni Joss Whedon noong 2012, at halos ma-perfect na ng Marvel sa Avengers: Age of Ultron noong 2015. Ang Captain America: Civil War na nilabas early this year ay may multiple characters din, pero sa aking opinyon ay hindi ito maituturing na ensemble film dahil iisa lang ang main protagonist dito, at ito'y si Captain America.

Ang sikreto ng ensemble film ay ito: dapat buo ang development ng bawat character sa ensemble. Maari itong gawin the usual way, which is onscreen character development. Pero ang technique ng Marvel ay iba: i-develop na ang mga individual characters through their own stand-alone films.

"Ganda ng shirt mo. Pero baliw ka pa rin."

Ito rin ang binalak ng DC sa pag-release nila ng Suicide Squad. Dahil hindi nila nabigyan ng sariling stand-alone films sina Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie), Deadshot (Will Smith), Diablo (Jay Hernandez) at Enchantress (Cara Delevingne), dinevelop nalang ang characters nila onscreen. Pero dahil dito, naubos ang oras sa character development nila habang ang ibang characters naman ay hindi na gaano na-flesh out. Sana 'yung sequence ni Amanda Waller (Viola Davis) involving 'yung dossiers n'ung mga criminals ay ni-release nalang nila online bilang promotional materials dahil nakasira ito sa flow ng kwento.

Ang character development ni Joker (Jared Leto) ay umaasa sa prior knowledge ng manonood at sa pop culture status ng character. Si Killer Croc (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje) ay interesting character sana, pero hindi ito na-develop dahil kulang sa oras. Gayoon din si Boomerang (Jai Courtney), bagaman hindi masyadong ganoon ka-interesting ang character nito. E si Slipknot, a.k.a. "the man who can climb anything"? Patay agad. Walang kwenta. Actually, 'yung buong plot ay weak. Parang mas nangibabaw ang pagligtas nila sa love life ni Rick Flag (Joel Kinnaman) kaysa sa pagligtas ng mundo.

Ang tanong, maisasalba pa kaya ng DC ang Justice League na lalabas next year? Sana naman. Si Zack Snyder ang hahawak nito, sa panunulat ni Chris Terrio, na siya ring sumulat ng Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. Pero actually, kahit na gaano ka-brilliant ng creative team ng isang pelikula, wala rin itong kwenta kung ang producers ay nanonood sa likod nila at nakikialam. So sana bawas-bawasan ang pakikialam at hayaang mag-flow ang creativity, kasi ito ang kinakailangan ng DC ngayon kung balak pa nila habulin ang Marvel at their own game.

Bigyan niyo na ng stand-alone film, utang na loob.



Suicide Squad. USA. 2016.



Original na rating: 6.5/10
Scary at dark na Enchantress: +0.1
Maagang pagkamatay ni Slipknot: -0.1
Manipis na characterisation ni Joker: -0.1
Back story ni Deadshot: +0.1
Back story ni Harley Quinn: +0.1
David Harbour from Stranger Things: +0.1
Final na rating: 6.7/10
"Lugi ako sa 8-pack abs mo!"

Matagal na ang kuwento ni Tarzan. 1912 ang unang taon na lumabas ang Tarzan of the Apes ni Edgar Rice Burroughs (na siya ring manunulat ng John Carter books), at mula noon, mahigit 200 na pelikula tungkol kay Tarzan ang naipalabas.

Medyo napapanahon ang paglabas ng pelikulang ito, dahil ang mga bagong manonood ay wala na yatang idea kung sino si Tarzan. Ang kilala nila malamang ay ang mga "Me Tarzan, you Jane" type ng wild man, o 'di kaya ang patawang Starzan ni Joey de Leon ("Cheetae, ganda lalake"... "Ulul, sinungaling, pangit"). Ang isang upside ng walang-tigil na pag-remake ng Hollywood ng mga lumang literary classic ay ang pagpapakilala ng mga gawang ito sa bagong henerasyon.

Si Tarzan (Alexander Skarsgård) ay isang edukadong nobleman na nagngangalang John Clayton, Earl of Greystoke. Lumaki siya sa kagubatan sa pagaalaga ng mga gorilla, at dito siya namuhay bilang hayop at naging lord of the jungle. Bumalik siya sa sibilisasyon sa Ingglatera para mamuhay bilang tao kasama ang asawa niyang si Jane (Margot Robbie), ngunit sa paguudyok ng isang Amerikanong si George Washington Williams (Samuel L. Jackson) ay bumalik siya sa Africa para pabagsakin ang rehimen ng imperial Belgium sa Congo. Ngunit pagdating niya sa Africa, hinahanap pala siya ng kontrabidang si Leon Rom (Christoph Waltz), na nakipagkasundo kay Chief Mbonga (Djimon Hounsou) para sa ulo ni Tarzan kapalit ng mala-tawas na diamonds. Nahuli ni Rom ang mag-asawang Clayton, pero nakatakas si Tarzan. Si Jane nalang ang naiwang hostage, at ang huli ng pelikula ay ang pagligtas ni Tarzan sa kanyang asawa. Ang maganda rito ay hindi ipinakita si Jane bilang damsel-in-distress, kundi isang matapang at strong-willed na babae na karapat-dapat nga na maging Mrs. King of the Jungle.

"Boner mo ba 'yan, Tarzan?"

Si Tarzan ay isa sa mga "feral child" template ng literature, katulad ni Mowgli ng The Jungle Book. Itong version na ito ni David Yates ay sinasabing "the most accurate Tarzan film ever made", at isa sa mga dahilan nito ay ang pagsasalita ni Tarzan ng diretso at hindi barok. Hindi talaga ako fan ng Tarzan franchise, pero lumaki ako na kilala siya. Madalas kong gayahin ang kanyang iconic na sigaw n'ung bata ako, at natuwa ako na maririnig ang sigaw na ito sa pelikula (not once, but twice).

Maganda ang pelikulang ito para sa lahat ng klaseng audiences. Okay ito para sa mga matatanda, dahil ibang version ito sa ating nakasanayan dahil sa kanyang accuracy. At okay din ito sa mga bata, para makilala naman nila si Tarzan bilang isang classic literary character na kung tutuusin ay mayroong ibubuga sa mga modern superheroes ngayon.

"Bakit napakaitim mo?"



The Legend of Tarzan. USA. 2016.



Original na rating: 7.9/10
Cameo ni Ben Chaplin: +0.1
Walang Margot Robbie nudity: -0.1
Astig na vine-swinging ni Tarzan: +0.1
Parating pagka-kontrabida ni Christoph Waltz: -0.1
Pagkapareho ng boses ni Alexander Skarsgård at ng kanyang ama: +0.1
Final na rating: 8.0/10
I Am Your Target Demographic

When asked to choose between Walking with Dinosaurs, 47 Ronin, and The Wolf of Wall Street, the answer was easy: the Scorsese film, of course. First, I didn't want to watch Ronin or Dinosaurs in 2D. Second, it's Scorsese.

It's most probably Scorsese if Leo DiCaprio is in it.

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