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The Top 13 of 2013

Ah, 2013. It may not have been a good year meteorologically-speaking, but it was a great year for movies. The bad news is we've seen far less movies in 2013 compared to the previous year. The good news is we've seen those that actually matter.

Like most lists, this list isn't perfect. There might be one or two anomalies in here (such as The Lone Ranger) which should've gotten a lower rating, but the other writers of Da Couch Tomato haven't had time to write multiple reviews in order to bring down the average. Some also would've probably made it to the list, if only the writer didn't forget to add a rating (like Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters). But we don't do sleight-of-hand rating changes just because we don't like a film that much. We have integrity, and we stand by our rating. We just add a disclaimer.

Anyway, here are the Top 13 movies of 2013. Clicking on the title links back to the original review. And so we start with...

Number 13

Not a Daft Punk music video.
The product of a screenwriting collaboration between two Academy award-winning screenwriters, this film is way better than the first one, but it still won't get nominated for Best Adapted Screenplay.

Number 12

Martin Freeman, wallowing in his huge talent fee.
We at Da Couch Tomato love adaptations so much, we put them at the bottom of our list. There's sarcasm in there somewhere. Probably buried under all that dragon gold.

Number 11

"So... how will my career go in the Year of the Horse?"
Anomaly Number 1. Sometimes Johnny Depp's presence tends to raise a film's quality. It's only in retrospect where you realise it actually isn't that good. Monsters University isn't pleased that it got knocked off this list.

Number 10

Queen Elsa, stopping other animated films from getting on this list.
Like I said, we at Da Couch Tomato have integrity. If we didn't, this would be Number 1. Because Elsa.

Number 9

Benedict Cumberbatch, setting female panties on fire in cinemas everywhere.
There are three types of people who loved this movie. 1. Trekkies; 2. Cumberbitches; and 3. Fans of J.J. Abrams' lens flare-filled storytelling style.

Number 8

Not surprising, as Danny Boyle films always make it on this list. 
For Danny Boyle's next film, you can expect very modern visual storytelling techniques, an exquisite electronica soundtrack, and a whole new cast of actors he's never worked with before. Brilliant.

Number 7

Nope. This isn't the wrong movie. That's Superman.
I guess we were all so used to the dorky-looking Clark Kent as portrayed by Christopher Reeves that seeing a rugged, bearded Henry Cavill was just too much.

Number 6

Robin Padilla's skills as a thespian are overshadowed by his bad boy image.
Thanks to this film, a lot of people now perceive Binoe in a new light: that of a serious thespian, and no longer as that ruffian who immortalised the words "Mahal na nga kita, eh. Maging sino ka man."

Number 5

According to our Oscar statistics, Daniel Brühl will get no Oscar love this year.
As a matter of fact, the entire film didn't get any Oscar love this year. What gives? Maybe the Academy is truly composed mostly of old white males who cannot handle the intense adrenaline rush that only Formula 1 racing can bring.

Number 4

The graffiti is kind of... meh.
This is Anomaly Number 2. I mean, yeah, it would still probably have made it on this list. But it would have been most likely lower. Not at Number 4.

Number 3

Sequel, please.
And the biggest movie of 2013 lands on the Number 3 spot. See what I did there? The biggest? Because, you know, they're Jaegers! Like, giant robots! Okay, I'll stop now.

Number 2

"Just... get lost, Clooney. I can hold this movie together on my own."
This is a heavy Oscar contender because of its minimalism, with two actors in the scary silence of space. But the genius lies in the directing. Only a gifted director like Alfonso Cuarón can take the boredom out of a potentially boring scenario such as "almost certainly dying in the cold reaches of outer space".

and finally...

Number 1

Does he look Bryan Cranston-y enough for you?
Yes. A Filipino film in the Number 1 spot. This countdown is now on its sixth (yes, SIXTH) year, and this is the first time a local film clinched the top spot. So now, let's just sit back, relax, and wait for the American remake. Because it's totally happening.

You might also want to check out the Top 12 films for 2012, 2011, 2010, 2009, and 2008.

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