Film Icons: Paul Walker

Tim F. White/Getty Images via CNN

Paul Walker will go down as one of the most crucial elements of the Fast and Furious franchise. Although he's quite often been at the receiving end of negative acting reviews, that hasn't stopped him from driving.

Review: Furious 6 (a.k.a. Fast & Furious 6)

The Numbers

When you are young, you tend to be an idealist. And you tend to think that good movies are those that tell good stories, with good acting, good cinematography, and other good elements.

The Guardian

Like Elsa Pataky's nudity.

Fast 5 a.k.a. Fast & Furious 5

The US title is Fast 5, but the Philippine release was titled Fast and Furious 5. You know, just to make sure everybody knows that this is the fifth film of that franchise about fast cars and rappers who want to switch careers. Of course, when you hear the words "fast and furious", it can only pertain to three things: 1) race cars; 2) tasmanian devils; and 3) Wolverine.

"My claws can act better than Paul Walker!"

And in keeping with the theme of the movie (even the subtitles were fast and furious, which was good, actually), here is a review that can be read in less than a minute. And because this is the fifth film, we'll place special significance on the number 5. Here are five points/observations on the movie, told with five images, described with five captions, with each caption having exactly five words each.

It's Grand Theft Auto: Rio.

Body temperature: ninety-nine degrees.

Furious biceps required by contract.

Dark skin equals comic relief.

Everybody lives... for Fast 6.

Fast 5 a.k.a. Fast and Furious 5. USA. 2011.


Rating: Two out of ten.
Elsa Pataky's hotness: Plus three points.
Gal Gadot's killer figure: Plus three points.
Gal Gadot's small breasts: Minus half a point.
Gal Gadot's flat buttocks: Minus half a point.
Jordana Brewster looking old and wasted: Minus one point.
Scene where The Rock takes the folder from Elsa Pataky and hurls it: Plus two points.
Paul Walker's invisibility due to his non-acting: Minus one point.
Not including Eva Mendes in this film: Minus half a point.
Resurrecting Michelle Rodriguez from the grave for the next film: Minus half a point.
Not knowing when to stop: Minus one point.
Final rating: Five out of ten.



*pics from, Comic Book Movie, YouTube and IMDb



You may also want to read the review for Fast & Furious.

Running Scared

What the Universe does to me is that it speaks in mysterious and interesting ways. Do you remember the time when the Facebook (FB) community had a cute campaign against child abuse?? Yes, the one when the least of posters suddenly swarmed out, like the bored and boring adults (and kids alike) that they are, and put out their favorite cartoon-superhero as profile pictures. Bringing the FB world much closer to its queerer Twitter-home sister.

Oooohhh... uughhh.... Those fickly words tickle..

...it would be a shame then, had I not found my own, wihihi.

Timestamped: About a month before birds started falling from the sky

Fast & Furious

Fast cars, and Vin Diesel's furious biceps. That's where they got the title from.

But seriously, I've just come to realize that it is very, very difficult to strike a balance between story and effects. You have to choose one or the other. Fast & Furious had the promise of a great storyline, but to tell a great story would have taken more time. That would mean more time for character development, and less time for car chases. And everyone knows people watched this for the car chases and not for Paul Walker's acting.

So, it's all fast cars and hot babes all the way. Typical male fantasy. Question: why do fast cars and hot women always go together? Answer: because hot women never commute. That was a joke.

Also, I've come to appreciate the special effects work in this film. A successful blend of old school movie magic, new school digital effects, and just plain old great driving. Seamless.

They say that this is the fourth film in the Fast & Furious franchise, but I say it's only the third. Then they say, "The third film is Tokyo Drift." Then I say, "What Tokyo Drift?"

Great cars. Great car chases. Great soundtrack. I only have one problem with this film, though. Why didn't Vin Diesel have sex with that hot-Latina-girl-who-looks-more-like-an-Eastern-European-vampire-than-a-Latina? Oh, Vin Diesel...you put your furious biceps to waste.


*pic from blog.automotiveaddicts.com


Fast & Furious. USA. 2009.


Rating: Six and a half out of ten.



You may also want to read the review for Fast 5 a.k.a. Fast and Furious 5.