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Patayin sa Overreading ang Pelikula

A Create-Your-Own-Clever-Movie-Review.

Director Name Drop's Movie Title in Italics is a fun, humorous take on the subject of cinema trophes.

Yet, that doesn't seem enough to make this review About Me, the Reviewer.

In Name Drop's satire on films of the same genre, we see a consciousness that is Anti-Something. Although, taken as a whole, the films seems to promote tolerance for Something, a closer reading of some scenes may be interpreted  as subconscious Anti-Something sentiments which only perpetuates Anti-Something perceptions and assumptions of the Something Community.

The fact that I, The Reviewer Who Has No Formal Training in Critical Studies, has identified this Anti-Something layer to the work as I write this article for a publication which has a readership slightly higher than the population of the island of B2201 in the South China Sea (said island is submerged in water twice a day, depending on the tide) is a testament to my cleverness.

I will now ask these rhetorical questions, won't I? This is my attempt at being convincing, isn't it?

I now give a cursory review of the ensemble's acting. Indie Actress is brilliant, Comedic Actress has flawless timing, and Matinee Idol is a revelation as the Borderline Caricature. Through Matinee Idol's histrionics, we see Borderline Caricature's world in its pallid glory, and other contrasting concepts I'm throwing together here to juxtapose how I can phrase together seemingly conflicting notions as, again, a testament to my brilliance as an underpaid critic.

I now drop cinema jargon here, commenting on the mise-en-scene, to make-up for how little I really know about the process. I then refer to David Lynch's underground, early works. Perhaps, I'll drop Kurosawa's name here, just to let you know that I, too, am exposed to Asian cinema. Argento, Argento. Insert "-esque" after the name of another director to make me sound hip; I love the suffix "-esque" and its non-committal assertion in its insertion. It means Something is Another Thing, But Not Really... It's "Another Thing-esque".

But the flaw of the work which I will latch on, and obsessively talk about is the Anti-Something reading which I gleamed from a badly executed in-joke. Why must I ask another rhetorical question here? Because. Why must I ask another rhetorical question here? For the timing. Why must I, finally, ask a slightly re-phrased rhetorical question here? Rule of threes.

In this summary paragraph, I once again highlight my Anti-Something Overreading of the work. Because I'm not happy with just a movie review, I must write a "reading" of "the film". You will think I'm clever, perhaps quote me if you will. But what I did, really, is waste your time.

I give this film a rating of Arbitrary Number of Stars over Some Standard of Stars, or raised thumbs. Like that matters.


A good laugh-out-loud read. Hehe. Pero kupal ka talaga, Mr. Malvar. Hahaha.

Hehehe... Kaya I love Da Couch Tomato eh, we don't take our reviews seriously. I think we're the only review site that uses "mancrush" as a relevant point in criticism. hahaha...

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