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Rango

This movie should teach everyone a valuable lesson, and it is this:

Just because it's Johnny Depp doesn't mean you have to watch it.

This, by the way, is a Nickelodeon and Industrial Light and Magic production, and marks ILM's first venture into CG-animation. And I'm so sorry to say that it actually failed in the character designs. First off, the title character himself:

The Hawaiian shirt isn't helping.

Check out that neck. What an absurd angle. Like it's been snapped in two then hastily put back together. And also, here's a real chameleon:

Not in disguise mode.

Now tell me, where the hell is the neck on that thing? So how the hell can you snap that in half?

And the hideous character designs don't stop there. Basically everyone here is hideous.


Especially her.

"I don't know what I am exactly."

That's the female. She has fingernails on her hands. Like human fingernails. All the rest of them have claws. Human-like hands plus a creepy face is guaranteed to be the stuff of nightmares.

Now another thing about this movie is...

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

...wait, what? Is it over? Man, I actually slept through a huge chunk of the movie! Was it that bad?

"Yes it was!"

Shame on you, makers of Rango, for wasting the talents of Mr. Johnny Depp and Mr. Gore Verbinski (reminiscing their Pirates days). Shame on you for wasting the talents of Alfred Molina, Bill Nighy, and Ray Winstone. Shame on you also for wasting the talents of Oscar-nominated cinematographer Roger Deakins. Just because he did a good job filming desert light in True Grit doesn't mean he'd do a good job with artificial cinematography. Although I admit he was the perfect guy for the job, as the desert heat really seemed to jump out of the screen.




*some info from IMDb
pics from Rango Trailer, Blogger, Film on Air, All Movie Photo, and IMDb


Rango. USA. 2011.


Original rating: Six out of ten.
Hideous character designs: Minus one point.
Waste of talents: Minus one point.
Homage to Fear and Loathing: Plus one point.
Poorly-voiced Clint Eastwood: Minus one point.
Final rating: Four out of ten.

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