DCT Season 2 Episode 18: Thor: Love and Thunder (2022), or How Many Oscar Winners Are in This Flick?

Da Couch Tomato Podcast Season 2 Episode 18, discussing Thor: Love and Thunder. Isa 'yung tipo ng pelikula na from the start pa lang ay sinasabi na "Don't take us too seriously". Nagustuhan namin ang girl power themes, especially kina King Valkyrie at Jane Foster a.k.a. Mighty Thor. Pinag-usapan din namin na tila walang exclusivity ang paglabas ng isang artista sa Marvel o DC movies, 'di tulad sa Pilipinas na ang Kapuso ay hindi pwede maging Kapamilya at vice versa.

Sting Lacson's rating : 7.1/10

Rachel's rating: 7.2/10

Final rating: 7.15/10

Help our podcast and get up to 80% off on Lazada if you shop using this link: https://bit.ly/3p4Ur5K

Review: Thor: The Dark World

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Frankly, I'm not at all excited about any upcoming Marvel Studios release... with the exception of The Infinity Gauntlet. Allow me to explain.

Comics World Online

The film version better be this colourful.

Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace 3D Review, or Fanboy Expectations vs. Horrible Reality

YouTube

EXPECTATION: Even if this is converted 3D, George Lucas will somehow push the envelope of 3D conversion and give us some groundbreaking converted 3D images.
REALITY: No. This is possibly the worst 3D I have seen. Unlike James Cameron, Lucas clearly does not know anything about 3D. The Men in Black III 3D trailer, while also converted 3D, looked more like proper 3D than this one.

amazonaws.com

Yoda to Lucas: "Kill you, I will."

Your Highness

I expected this film to be a sort of Pineapple Express set in medieval times. You know, because James Franco is in it. But it wasn't. There was barely any explicit pot smoking here.

James Franco plays a pothead so well.

This is basically just a fantasy flick with lots of gore,

Eeewww.

a dickless guy,

Eeewww.

Charles Dance (the guy who played Lord Tywin Lannister in Game of Thrones), Damian Lewis (the guy who played Maj. Dick Winters in Band of Brothers), and two hot girls by the names of Zooey Deschanel

"You think I'm hot?"

and Natalie Portman, who looks so damn sexy it's like she never gave birth.

"Don't even think about it."

Although this film flopped in the box office, I really do hope this doesn't discourage Danny McBride from writing any more comedies. The man is funny, no question about that. Maybe he just wasn't lucky enough with this flick.

"Fuck the critics."

Your Highness. USA. 2011.



Rating: Five and a half out of ten.




*some info from IMDb
images from VLC

No Strings Attached

Hooray for a slutty Natalie Portman. Fresh from her Oscar win, and she gives a great performance here. Oh, wait. She was in Thor. But she's got better acting here.

"Ooh, look at my dick!"
-actual line

See, the thing with Portman's acting is, it's slutty, but not too slutty. It's just right. She plays a young doctor who's afraid of commitments. So she just sleeps around, with no intention of falling in love. But she does so in the end. That wasn't a spoiler, by the way. This is a rom-com. And you know how all rom-coms end.

Most of the time with a romantic kiss.

Ashton Kutcher was surprisingly good. He plays a nice guy here. Well, he's the nice one, and Natalie Portman's the bitch.

This is fake, by the way. Those are two lesbians.

Kutcher's sidekicks, played by Jake Johnson and Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, were okay. Johnson was better. Ludacris wasn't even that funny.

"Well, I was funny in Fast 5."

Plus, Johnson actually has a great relationship in this picture. Not a fuck buddy relationship. An actual, meaningful, boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.

Plus his girl's kind of cute.

The one who stole the show was actually Kevin Kline, who plays Ashton Kutcher's father, a former actor who loves to steal his son's girlfriends.

The funniest guy in this movie.

There's also a cameo from director Ivan Reitman, who also plays the director of the show Kutcher works on. And also a cameo from Cary Elwes, the guy who played Robin Hood in Robin Hood: Men in Tights.

A bit older and fatter.

All in all, good flick. Especially for those who are no strangers to fuck buddies, friends with benefits, and open relationships. Because you all should know by now that it's not really possible to have a relationship based on sex alone. Sooner or later, one of you will fall for the other. Sometimes it's a happy ending, sometimes it's not. But don't worry, this movie does have a happy ending. It's a rom-com after all. And we all know how rom-coms end.

Like this, most of the time.

No Strings Attached. USA. 2011.


Rating: Six point eight out of ten.




*some info from IMDb
pics from VLC

Thor

Because StingLacson called me out for being a Chris Hemsworth fangirl, here's my review of Thor.



I'm team DC so not only do I know close to nothing about the Marvel universe, I am also not particularly interested in it. Truthfully , the only reason I went out to see Thor was because I wanted to see what Natalie Portman's been doing after her Oscar win.

But surprise, surprise. I thoroughly enjoyed Thor. I enjoyed it better than the first Iron Man movie, which up to now I consider one of the best superhero movies so far. (No, I do not like Christopher Nolan's Batman. See, I'm not biased against Marvel. I did hate Iron Man 2 though, so I guess they're even.)

My first and last encounter with Thor was in one of the Avengers animated movies which had him on a boat trying to stop some whalers. So, kudos to Chris Hemsworth for owning the role and making it totally badass.

Mmm, yeah. Gif totally necessary.

I also really, really liked Tom Hiddleston as Loki. He was subtle and awesome and looked a little like Steve from Blue's Clues. I read somewhere that he initially tried out for Thor. I'm glad he didn't get that part. He was perfection as Loki.

We've come to a point in movies where talking about the special effects has started to become redundant, but I liked how they rendered Asgard, particularly the Bifrost. Still rainbow-y without being My Little Pony.

This didn't feel as fleshed out as it could have been, but it did succeed in one critical aspect─I totally want to go watch The Avengers now. Forget the Captain America movie, bring on the Avengers!

If you liked this review, you may also want to read Sting Lacson's review of Thor.

Thor

For those who love Norse mythology, you're probably familiar with the words Asgard, Midgard, and Skarsgård. Kaboom. Just had to get that joke out of the way.

"Meh. My name's got that A with the circle on top."

Black Swan

Too bad I didn't watch this last year. It'd have made the Top 12.

Anyway, Natalie Portman, you are so beautiful. And I now forgive your crappy acting in Star Wars.

No, not that Star Wars.

Yep, that one.

Now although this film is about ballet, which a lot of people regard as "dancing for sissies", this film is definitely NOT for sissies. It comes off as a horror or suspense film, with some blood and no killers, all done in Darren Aronofsky's trademark "hallucinate-like-you-haven't-slept-in-days" style.

Which was also the style used by Winona Ryder's make-up artist.

Wait a minute... is that the guy from La haine? Yup, that's Vincent Cassell. Thanks, IMDb.

La haine: The film which taught us that hashish can be cut with a hot knife.

If you're a wuss (like me), then be prepared to cringe at some really disturbing images. Also be prepared to get turned on by images of Natalie Portman touching herself, and some Natalie Portman-Mila Kunis girl-on-girl action.

If this doesn't turn you on...

...then this should.

Once you get past all those graphically sexual images, this film is a great work of art. But watching it will make you ask a lot of questions, like these:

• Can she see ghosts? 
• Is her mom a ghost?
• Is she on drugs? 
• Is she crazy? Like Russell Crowe-crazy in A Beautiful Mind?
• Is this like Fight Club?
• Where did those wounds come from? 
• Did she really touch herself while filming?
• Is her dancing computer-generated?

After watching, some questions may have been answered. But a lot of them will remain unanswered. Damn you, Aronofsky!


*some info from IMDb
pics from Sodahead, Millionaire Playboy, demeter clarc, The Movie Db, Busy Buzz Blogging, and The Buzz Media


Black Swan. USA. 2010.


Rating: Eight point five out of ten.
Natalie Portman-Mila Kunis girl-on-girl action: Perfect ten.




If you liked this review, you may also want to read herd commander's review of Black Swan.

Goya's Ghosts

Dear Viewer,


For those who don't know who I am, I have two Oscars for Best Director, for the films One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and Amadeus. Still don't know who I am? Google me.

Anyway, the costumes in this movie are as rich as that in Amadeus. That's because I love period films, but I hate letting actors speak in foreign tongues.

I definitely want Javier Bardem in this picture. Well first I wanted Jeffrey Dean Morgan, but due to scheduling conflicts, have decided to settle for Señor Bardem, because they look alike anyway. Plus, Javier Bardem's creepy voice is the best thing in the movie.

I also want someone big to play Goya. "Big" as in a big, A-lister famous name. But no one seems to be interested in playing a painter who turns deaf later on, and who has no kissing or sex scene. So I settled for "big" like towering height. That's why I got Stellan Skarsgård instead. But I would've avoided him if I can, because I have a really difficult time typing that special character in his name.

I also loved how I got to make the beautiful Natalie Portman look hideous. I mean, I fantasize having sex with Natalie Portman a lot. But ever since I saw how ugly she could become, I lost all libido. Bad for me. Good for my wife.

Also, hooray for Dennis Quaid. I mean Randy Quaid. He's funny as hell.

That's it. I didn't really say anything worthwhile. I apologize, and I leave you to whatever it is you're up to.


Sincerely,

Milos Forman (not my real name)


*some info from IMDb
pic from allmoviephoto.com


Goya's Ghosts. USA/Spain. 2006.


Rating: Six out of ten.