Da Couch Tomato

An attempt at a new layout, with horrible glitches, and very minimal knowledge of HTML.
Showing posts with label kevin kline. Show all posts
"You had me at 'library'."

•This isn't a shot-for-shot remake of the original 1991 animated film by Disney. This is more or less a very similar retelling, updated for a modern audience, particularly those who weren't born yet when the original was released.

•There are more songs here than the original one, but the great thing is, it's by the same composer and lyricist, Alan Menken and Tim Rice. And I believe that's the reason the new songs are a great fit to the old. Like, to someone who hasn't seen the original, all the songs in this 2017 version would have a unified feel to it, and they probably wouldn't be able to tell which songs are more than 20 years old.

•Emma Watson can sing, yes, but just barely. Like you can tell musical theatre isn't her background. In fact, she is, in my opinion, this film's weakest link. But I can't seem to think of anyone else who could've played Belle in this live-action version.

•Ewan McGregor was awesome as Lumiere. We've heard him sing before, in Moulin Rouge, so no surprise there. And to think he'd never seen the original before he signed up for this project. But with the way he sang "Be Our Guest", you can't tell. You'd probably even think he's seen the original a thousand times on VHS.

•I'm not a fan of the boots, Emma Watson. I understand it was your call to wear them. What were you thinking? No. Just no.

"You're not wearing those hideous boots, are you?"

•Luke Evans as Gaston and Josh Gad as LeFou were awesome. Unlike Emma Watson, these two are great singers. Josh Gad has already shown us his vocal prowess in Pixels, so it's nothing new, really. But Luke Evans came as quite a surprise. And to think I used to refer to him as a "poor man's Orlando Bloom".

•Apparently, LeFou is the first openly-gay Disney character. I just found that out recently, because it wasn't really obvious in the animated version. But I think Josh Gad is really gay. Or at least he could pass for gay. Actually, he's a family man with two daughters, so I don't think he's gay.

•I understand it was a stylistic choice to put Mrs. Potts's face on the side of the teapot instead of having the spout as her nose. But the animation looked kind of tacky, of you ask me. Emma Thompson in lieu of Angela Lansbury is okay, but I just don't like how the animation looks, sorry.

•I didn't know Ian McKellen was Cogsworth. I can picture him in a superhero film franchise. But I thought voice acting would be beneath his status as a skilled thespian. Apparently everyone has a price. I wonder how much he got paid for this gig.

•Dan Stevens was perfect as the Beast. First, because he sings quite well. Second, because he kind of looked like the prince in the animated version. With all the effort he exerted in his performance, it's a shame director Bill Condon didn't opt for practical make-up over CGI, but it was still a good job nonetheless.

Why does Cogsworth look like a Transformer?



Beauty and the Beast. USA. 2016.



Original rating: 8.0/10
"Be Our Guest": +0.1
"The Mob Song": +0.1
Emma Watson's singing: -0.1
Underutilising Kevin Kline: -0.1
Underutilising Stanley Tucci: -0.1
Audra McDonald's singing: +0.1
French translations at the end titles: +0.1
Final rating: 8.0/10

Hooray for a slutty Natalie Portman. Fresh from her Oscar win, and she gives a great performance here. Oh, wait. She was in Thor. But she's got better acting here.

"Ooh, look at my dick!"
-actual line

See, the thing with Portman's acting is, it's slutty, but not too slutty. It's just right. She plays a young doctor who's afraid of commitments. So she just sleeps around, with no intention of falling in love. But she does so in the end. That wasn't a spoiler, by the way. This is a rom-com. And you know how all rom-coms end.

Most of the time with a romantic kiss.

Ashton Kutcher was surprisingly good. He plays a nice guy here. Well, he's the nice one, and Natalie Portman's the bitch.

This is fake, by the way. Those are two lesbians.

Kutcher's sidekicks, played by Jake Johnson and Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, were okay. Johnson was better. Ludacris wasn't even that funny.

"Well, I was funny in Fast 5."

Plus, Johnson actually has a great relationship in this picture. Not a fuck buddy relationship. An actual, meaningful, boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.

Plus his girl's kind of cute.

The one who stole the show was actually Kevin Kline, who plays Ashton Kutcher's father, a former actor who loves to steal his son's girlfriends.

The funniest guy in this movie.

There's also a cameo from director Ivan Reitman, who also plays the director of the show Kutcher works on. And also a cameo from Cary Elwes, the guy who played Robin Hood in Robin Hood: Men in Tights.

A bit older and fatter.

All in all, good flick. Especially for those who are no strangers to fuck buddies, friends with benefits, and open relationships. Because you all should know by now that it's not really possible to have a relationship based on sex alone. Sooner or later, one of you will fall for the other. Sometimes it's a happy ending, sometimes it's not. But don't worry, this movie does have a happy ending. It's a rom-com after all. And we all know how rom-coms end.

Like this, most of the time.


No Strings Attached. USA. 2011.


Rating: Six point eight out of ten.




*some info from IMDb
pics from VLC
Premium Blogspot Templates
Copyright © 2012 Da Couch Tomato