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Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace 3D Review, or Fanboy Expectations vs. Horrible Reality


EXPECTATION: Even if this is converted 3D, George Lucas will somehow push the envelope of 3D conversion and give us some groundbreaking converted 3D images.
REALITY: No. This is possibly the worst 3D I have seen. Unlike James Cameron, Lucas clearly does not know anything about 3D. The Men in Black III 3D trailer, while also converted 3D, looked more like proper 3D than this one.

Yoda to Lucas: "Kill you, I will."

EXPECTATION: The 3D will intensify according to the action sequence.
REALITY: No. The 3D was boring and flat throughout.

However, Liam Neeson's face looks good in 3D.

EXPECTATION: This would be slightly different than the 1999 theatrical version.
REALITY: Yes, slightly. The introduction to the pod racers was slightly extended (like the DVD versions). Also, they improved Yoda. Lucas couldn't resist upgrading Yoda to CGI, since the prequel puppet actually looked horrible. I just hope Frank Oz didn't mind that his puppetry went to waste.

The one on the left is definitely uglier.

EXPECTATION: George Lucas will use his special effects wizardry and fix those scenes with a fat Ewan McGregor.
REALITY: Nope, sorry. Those fat Obi-Wan shots will forever remain part of the saga.

"Repulse me, you do."

EXPECTATION: The outer space battles will look good in 3D.
REALITY: A bit. But this movie doesn't have that much outer space battle scenes. To see if this'll really work, we'll have to wait for A New Hope. Or better yet, Return of the Jedi. I think the jump to hyperspace would look awesome.

Hopefully the exploding Death Star looks better than this.

EXPECTATION: The pod race sequence will look good in 3D.
REALITY: No. The cuts were too fast in order to appreciate the stereography. That's because this was never intended to be released in 3D.

The racing pods can act better than Jake Lloyd.

EXPECTATION: Despite having watched the entire saga countless times already, there are still new things that can be discovered.
REALITY: Yes. I discovered that Keira Knightley and Sofia Coppola were part of Queen Amidala's entourage.

"Nobody even cared I existed back in 1999."

EXPECTATION: Natalie Portman looks hotter here because she is younger.
REALITY: Definitely.

"Let me seduce you with my eyes, pedophile."

Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace 3D. USA. 2012.

Rating: Five out of ten.
3D rating: Four out of ten.


Very high expectations, spoken like a true Star Wars geek. Hahaha.

The movie was made before the technology so the scenes weren't really made with the 3D experience in mind, and it's just converted 3D.

Either way, Star Wars is really better experienced in the big screen.

Even if this film sucked, I'm still watching the entire saga on the big screen. Haha. What a geek.

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