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Far-Out Theories: The French Connection, or the 84th Academy Awards Recap

Some brief facts about this year's Oscars:

The two strongest contenders for Best Picture both involve the French.

And these are: Hugo, and The Artist. These two films are similar, yet not quite the same.

The similarities: Both films are about filmmaking, or about the film industry. Also, both of them pay homage to film history.

The differences: Hugo is an American production set in Paris. The Artist is a French production set in Hollywood.

Of course, The Artist won. But that wasn't surprising, and not just because The Artist won the Best Picture award during the Golden Globes. It was obvious because the Academy is trying to make an international expansion. Let me illustrate.

This year's major winners include:

Actor in a Leading Role

"It's John-Doo-Jar-Done."
Jean Dujardin, The Artist

Actor in a Supporting Role

"About time, you bastards."
Christopher Plummer, The Beginners


"Au revoir, suckers."
Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist

Music (Original Score)

The Bource Legacy.
Ludovic Bource, The Artist


Best Picture

"Vive le France!"

And then most of the technical awards went to Hugo, sending The Artist and Hugo home with five Oscars each.

But wait... why didn't Gary Oldman win for Best Actor, you ask? Because he got nominated a year too late. If he got nominated last year, he might have won, because last year was the year of the Brits. But that's only if he could win against last year's winners, which included:

"Firth may have the Best Actor trophy, but everyone knows
I'm the better actor."

So this is how it went just right before the 83rd Academy Awards:

Academy Honcho 1: You know, we should start thinking globally. Like the NBA. Some of the top players in the league right now are from Europe, such as Manu Ginobili and Dirk Nowitzki.
Academy Honcho 2: And don't forget Kobe Bryant. He's Italian.
Academy Honcho 1: Wait... no he's not. He's American, you idiot.
Academy Honcho 2: But he speaks Italian...
Academy Honcho 1: Well, anyway, we should now start our global expansion campaign, if American cinema is to survive. So why don't we start with our English-speaking cousins from across the pond?
Academy Honcho 2: The Brits?
Academy Honcho 1: Englishmen, my good sir. The proper term is Englishmen.
Academy Honcho 2: Okay, so how do we begin our global expansion campaign?
Academy Honcho 1: We give them five of the major awards.
Academy Honcho 2: All right, that's done, then.

That was last year. This year, the Oscars went across the English channel to France. Next year? Maybe they'll hit Germany next. And maybe give acting Oscars to Michael Fassbender and Franka Potente.

[Full list of winners on Oscars.org]

*French flag from Solihull.gov.uk
Canadian flag from frenchentree.com


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