DCT Season 2 Episode 13: Uncharted (2022), or OMG Tom Holland's Abs

Da Couch Tomato Podcast Season 2 Episode 13, discussing Uncharted, the first feature from PlayStation Productions. Para sa amin, isa ito sa better films adapted from a video game. Nabanggit din namin na as fans and actual players of the video game franchise, medyo nakakapanibago sa una na walang bigote ang Sully ni Mark Wahlberg, pero eventually he becomes the character din. And finally, pinag-usapan namin ang Philippine references, mula kay Magellan at Lapu-lapu hanggang sa Kiamba, Sarangani, na birthplace pala ni Jinky Pacquiao.

Sting Lacson's rating : 7.6/10

Rachel's rating: 7.4/10

Final rating: 7.5/10

Help our podcast and get up to 80% off on Lazada if you shop using this link: https://bit.ly/3p4Ur5K

Entourage Season 5, or Two Ways to Do a Cliffhanger

HBO via DCT

This season’s major film: Smokejumpers. Or that screenplay written by Lukas Haas and Giovanni Ribisi. The writers are just one problem, though. The bigger problem is getting Vincent Chase in the movie and he finds out the hard way that because he didn’t do Aquaman 2, he pissed off studio head Alan Gray, and now he can’t be a firefighter on Smokejumpers. And when I say “the hard way”, I mean with the help of magic mushrooms from Eric Roberts.

HBO

Joshua Tree. I don't see any trees, though.

Ted

Who knew Seth McFarlane did live-action flicks? Initially, when I saw the poster to this movie while choosing my own (movie) adventure, I saw Seth's name.

I thought it was Seth Green so I was thinking
this shit's gonna' be hilarious!

The Fighter

We've all heard how Mark Wahlberg watched Manny Pacquiao to prepare for this role. But you won't see any of Pacquiao's moves or punches here. Wahlberg didn't turn into a Manny clone. I think he just looked to Pacquiao for inspiration, nothing more.

"Thanks a lot, Manny!"

This isn't just another boxing movie. This one could actually get Christian Bale nominated for an Oscar. He might even win it.

"This goofy face will get me an Oscar."

Yeah, okay, Mark Wahlberg gets top billing. But apart from a decent Boston accent, Marky Mark's just got nothing on Bale.

"Wait, did you shave your crown?"

 And the thing is, Bale seeems to do it so effortlessly. Well actually, he did exert some effort. Method acting requires effort, and he lost a lot of weight for this role (again).

An anorexic Bruce Wayne.

My least favorite character in the movie: actually, there's more than one. But they can be clumped together under a single group, which we call "The Hags".

See? The Hags.

 Also, hooray for Amy Adams. Dirty roles suit you better than the prim and proper ones.

Also hearing Amy Adams say "Fuck" and "Bitch" is quite jarring.

And before I forget, this film was co-produced by Darren Aronofsky, so like Black Swan, this also has some girl-on-girl action. Not as great, of course. But still...

See? Girl-on-girl action.

*some info from IMDb
pics from VLC and Online Bag Market and Parcbench


The Fighter. USA. 2010.


Rating: Seven and a half out of ten.
Amy Adams' new slutty look: Eight out of ten.
Christian Bale's acting: Eight point nine out of ten.

The Other Guys

I was just stumped at the fact that Dwayne Johnson and Samuel L Jackson died instantly in this one. I thought that they were the fuckin' super cops. But they died! What a bunch of losers. Good stuff too that Foo Fighters' "My Hero" was playing while they were falling to their deaths.

Allen Gamble (Will Ferrell) and Terry Hoitz (Mark Wahlberg) play disgraced New York cops who do the paperwork for the cops that they idolize (namely The Rock and Sam). I was LOL when Wahlberg shot Derek Jeter (as himself) in the Yankees Stadium. Very stupid.

Eva Mendes' beauty was uncovered here fully I think.

Wasn't it already uncovered before?

I already noticed her ass in Too Fast, Too Furious. But she's on a whole 'notha level right here. Can't believe Gamble was allowing Hoitz to talk to his wife (Mendes) like that.

The hidden gem here for me is Michael Keaton (Capt. Gene Mauch). He keeps mentioning TLC song lyrics without him even noticing it. Now who the fuck would say, "Don't go chasin' waterfalls"? Hilarious shit!

Can't find quick Keaton movie pics. Here's Batman instead.

Nice soundtrack, too. Little River Band rocks! I didn't know that "Pimps Don't Cry" was a real song (during the end credits). And I knew that it was The White Stripes' music that was playin' in the background during the shootout in the building after the shareholder meeting.

All in all, 7.5 out of 10 for hilarity.



*images from deadline.com, mos.totalfilm.com, blog.newsok.com




If you liked this review, you may also want to read Sting Lacson's review of The Other Guys.

The Other Guys

I must admit that this film changed my perception of Will Ferrell. I found Will Ferrell funny way before this movie, but I thought his humor came from his loud antics and his desire to be nude all the time. This movie shows his more subdued side (his character is a boring cop who used to be from the Forensics Accounting department), although there are times when he slips back to his loud persona. But that's like only for a few seconds, so it's all right.

Mark Wahlberg doesn't take off his shirt here (sorry, girls). But he is such a natural actor that pretty soon it ceases to matter that he is Mark Wahlberg.

Samuel L. Jackson is back with his famous Samuel L. Jackson-style of acting. You know, tough cool guy approach. Fugly cool.

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson didn't get much screen time, roughly as long as Samuel's. Too bad, as The Rock is one of my favorite actors. He is someone who left the world of wrestling for showbusiness, because he is damn better at it.

Michael Keaton is hilarious as the police chief. And the TLC references were really laugh-out-loud moments.

Steve Coogan was brilliant. Of course, he will always have that British accent. And I only recently noticed that Coogan kind of looks like Spanish footballer Carles Puyol.

Ray Stevenson once again shows his team playing-abilities. Only this time, he plays an Aussie.

And finally, Eva Mendes is starting to grow on me. I admit that she wasn't really my type before. But she's getting hotter and hotter with every movie I see her in. Keep up the good work, Eva.


P.S. No wonder that other black guy looked familiar. He's Damon Wayans, Jr. I mean, is Damon Wayans that old?


*some info from IMDb
pic from empiremovies.com


The Other Guys. USA. 2010.


Rating: Seven and a half out of ten.




If you liked this review, you may also want to read The Negation's review of The Other Guys.

Date Night

I personally find Steve Carell hilarious. Some people don't like him. Well, I do.

Tina Fey is cute as ever, but she has been shadowed by an even cuter, sexier girl who goes by the name of Leighton Meester. Yum.

Ray Liotta is still doing gangster roles. Isn't he a bit old to keep doing that? And by the way, he does look old. Older than how I remember him, of course.

Olivia Munn may have a cameo, but she doesn't look as hot here as she does on TV. And I'm sorry, Leighton Meester is hotter.

And the winners for this movie are:

1. James Franco ─ Again, like in Pineapple Express, for acting weird roles, and refusing to be typecast as a Hollywood pretty boy.
2. Mark Wahlberg ─ Mr. Shirtless himself has inspired me to lift weights.
3. William Fichtner ─ Any movie with Fichtner in it is a treat to watch. He is such a natural actor, he doesn't even have to talk. He can act with just facial expressions.
4. Mark Ruffalo ─ Despite the less than five minute-screen time, this is the first time I've seen him look scruffy. And it works. The scruffiness, I mean.
5. Leighton Meester ─ Last, but definitely not the least. Leighton Meester is so hot, she makes ice cubes melt in Alaska in winter. What?

*some info from IMDb
pic from ugo.com


Date Night. USA. 2010.


Rating: Six and a half out of ten.

The Lovely Bones

The Lovely Bones is...lovely. What else can I say?

You can learn a lot about a film by its opening credits. And I learned that this is a DreamWorks and Wingnut production. DreamWorks is Steven Spielberg's, and Wingnut is Peter Jackson's. This means that these two are friends. And this means I am excited about the upcoming 3D CGI adaptation of the Tintin comic books.

Anyway, I will not spoil this for those who have yet to see the film. So I shall just limit myself to non-spoiler comments.

I saw this movie with no idea what this is about. All I knew was that this was directed by Peter Jackson, and this was entitled The Lovely Bones. That's all I knew. And then I just got blown away by Peter Jackson's storytelling. He was able to balance light and heavy, sad and happy, and any other binary moods you can think of. I was gripping my seat during the suspenseful parts, and Jackson actually succeeded in raising my heart rate. No surprise there. Hasn't Jackson proven his storytelling skills are worth millions after The Lord of the Rings?

Saoirse Ronan did an excellent job portraying the girl who...okay let me stop there. Spoiler. Wait, how do you even pronounce your name?

Susan Sarandon was great. It would be nice to have a grandmother as cool as her.

Mark Wahlberg made acting look so effortless that he should be fined. It should be a crime to be such a natural actor.

And Stanley Tucci, I love you now. He went to great lengths to make his character more authentic, even putting on a different set of teeth to alter his jawline. In fact, all throughout the movie, I was deciding whether he was really Stanley Tucci, or just some actor who looks like him.

Oh, and Rachel Weisz, you are really beautiful, and you shall soon be in my Crush Archives, even if you didn't get nominated for an Oscar. In fact, this whole movie got snubbed by the AMPAS this year, with its sole nomination going to Stanley Tucci for Best Actor in a Supporting Role.

*some info from IMDb

pic from geekonfilm.wordpress.com

The Lovely Bones. USA/UK/New Zealand. 2009.

Rating: Nine out of ten.

The Happening

Not one of M. Night Shyamalan's better films, but still, it's not as bad as the critics say.

An idea like this can only come from the mind of Shyamalan, whose affinity for the macabre was what launched his Hollywood ticket in the first place. The plot is so simple (the whole structure came to Shyamalan in an instant, while driving through rural New Jersey) that it should be told in a simple, non-linear fashion; just straight-up, direct storytelling. The script is flimsy, as there are some holes that should have been patched up, and there are some ideas that could have been explored more, but Shyamalan makes up for his shortcomings as screenwriter by performing wonderfully as director. It all boils down to execution, and Shyamalan, already a master visual storyteller, knows how to pace the film, to make it subtle, and to let the suspense build up. Although his stories may be of the supernatural, M. Night Shyamalan is a realistic storyteller, always grounding his narratives in something we are all familiar with.

One excellent aspect of this film is James Newton Howard's musical score. It is so effective that you will hardly even notice that there is any musical score at all. All you feel is the suspense that builds up inside you, which is a direct effect of the musical score.

The performances of the actors are commendable, as there is really no room for over-acting in an M. Night Shyamalan flick. Like the narrative, it all boils down to subtlety, and Mark Wahlberg as science teacher Elliot Moore, delivers just the right amount of panic and hysteria that his role calls for. Zooey Deschanel as Mrs. Moore reminds me of nothing more than a younger, blue-eyed Meg Ryan. John Leguizamo, surprisingly, is able to pull off a Philadelphia high school math teacher slash father, and his screen time is cut dramatically with his early death in the film. One terrific discovery by Shyamalan is young actress Ashlyn Sanchez, who plays Leguizamo's daughter Jess. While Sanchez is no Dakota Fanning, she still shows a lot of promise, and we could expect more films from her in the future. And of course, where is the director himself with his trademark cameos? He minimizes himself this time and does a Lionel Richie, with just one word over the telephone: Hello. Just a voice, not even a glimpse.

Again, a valuable lesson I keep telling everyone is "Do not listen to the critics". Go watch the film anyway, and enjoy it according to your standards, not theirs.


Rating: Four stars.