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X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Some people question my ability to enjoy a film but still give it a low rating. This is one such film, and I shall explain why.

First, I enjoyed it. End of story. No, it wasn't a waste of money. Wolverine and I go way back. Like fifth grade. No, fourth grade. I've known about his powers and his adamantium skeleton even before I learned to play "More Than Words" on the guitar. So that's it.

And now, why I gave this film a low rating:

1. The opening credits were great, but that back-to-back pose that Logan and Victor did...I mean, Liev Schreiber could've toned down his pose a bit. Just a little bit. And I don't know how to pronounce Liev Schreiber's name. Whenver I talk about him, I refer to him as "that guy from The Manchurian Candidate and Defiance."

2. It's pretty annoying to see Victor (the future Sabertooth) mounting an attack like a jungle cat. The motion is too---how do you say it---unreal. I could actually tell that they did that with bungee cords. I've also made a mental note that to pull that off realistically without resorting to CGI would be to shoot it in Zero G. You know, that zero-gravity aircraft that they train astronauts in. Bungee cords just won't cut it for some types of motions.

3. That scene where there were two cars blocking the road, and Logan's girlfriend did this I-can-control-your-mind-when-I-touch-you thing? Two words: TOO CONTRIVED. The screenwriters could've done better. But then again, screenwriting is hard work. Sorry.

4. Patrick Stewart's makeup was freaky. It was supposed to make him look like Professor X thirty years younger or something, but the result: Failed! Like they injected his face with Botox. Ugh. Why couldn't they do it properly like Benjamin Button?

5. They seem to have made this film for women. Check out the score: Poster boys: four (that's Hugh Jackman, Taylor Kitsch, Daniel Henney, and Ryan Reynolds); hot girls: one (Logan's girlfriend). That's it. Boo.

6. And finally, we all know Wolverine loses his memory somehow, yet how does it really happen? Adamantium bullets to the head. Based on the flimsy theory that a brain concussion may not kill him, but it sure as hell would erase his memory. Lame-O!

So there you have it. It was a superb superhero flick. Makes me want to wait for X-Men Origins: Magneto. Or so I've been told that would be next on the Origins list.

*some info from IMDb
pic from thecia.com.au

X-Men Origins: Wolverine. USA. 2009.

Rating: Six and a half out of ten.

You may also want to read other X-Men reviews such as X-Men: First Class.


tina said...

even before you learned to play more than words? wow, that is way back. that song's a classic already, isn't it? :P hehe.

hmmm. so much for explaining why you enjoyed the movie... not a convincing argument, but hey, i'll take your word for it. :D hehe. guess it's just not as easy as spelling out all your major quibbles.

why, tina, do you always find a way to take a hit at my age? haha. just kidding. we love you. :-D

Anonymous said...

you can play more than words on guitar? i am sooo impressed. can i do back up harmonies?

great review, as ever. i totally get how you can give a good review of something you don't love.

so do i see start trek or wolverine this weekend????

i am boycotting ghosts/girlfriends because it undoubtedly sucks like a vacuum cleaner.

thank you, Captain. as always. haha.

i would suggest Star Trek. unleash the inner geek in you. plus spock and kirk's always been your blog pic, so it would be disrespectful not to watch it. hahaha.

tina said...

@sting i take hits at your age 'cause i can XD nyahahahaha. peace tayo. ^^

Anonymous said...

my inner geek is an outie....

@tina: Peace! :-D

@The Captain: So what did you see? Wolverine or Star Trek? Hahaha.

Anonymous said...

They seem to have made this film for women. Check out the score: Poster boys: four (that's Hugh Jackman, Taylor Kitsch, Daniel Henney, and Ryan Reynolds); hot girls: one (Logan's girlfriend). That's it. Boo.Don't forget the actress who portrayed the girlfriend's sister.

It's funny. STAR TREK is getting more accolades than WOLVERINE. Yet, although both movies have their flaws, I'm more impressed by the script for WOLVERINE than I am for STAR TREK.

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