John Carter (of Mars)

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Let me begin by saying this film was a flop.

Now that we've gotten that out of the way, let me say that despite being a flop, I liked it. For four reasons.

1. The story predates the giants of science fiction.
When you say "science fiction", the first thing that comes to the minds of ordinary Americans would be Star Trek. For ordinary Brits, it would be Doctor Who. For hardcore sci-fi geeks, it would be Dune.

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Electric blue lights = science fiction.

To put things into perspective, Star Trek came out in 1966, Doctor Who came out in 1963, and Dune came out in 1965. A Princess of Mars, from which this movie is adapted from, came out in 1912. And for a story as old as that, it's actually pretty good, and will still hold up in this day and age as a decent work of science fiction.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Some people question my ability to enjoy a film but still give it a low rating. This is one such film, and I shall explain why.

First, I enjoyed it. End of story. No, it wasn't a waste of money. Wolverine and I go way back. Like fifth grade. No, fourth grade. I've known about his powers and his adamantium skeleton even before I learned to play "More Than Words" on the guitar. So that's it.

And now, why I gave this film a low rating:

1. The opening credits were great, but that back-to-back pose that Logan and Victor did...I mean, Liev Schreiber could've toned down his pose a bit. Just a little bit. And I don't know how to pronounce Liev Schreiber's name. Whenver I talk about him, I refer to him as "that guy from The Manchurian Candidate and Defiance."

2. It's pretty annoying to see Victor (the future Sabertooth) mounting an attack like a jungle cat. The motion is too---how do you say it---unreal. I could actually tell that they did that with bungee cords. I've also made a mental note that to pull that off realistically without resorting to CGI would be to shoot it in Zero G. You know, that zero-gravity aircraft that they train astronauts in. Bungee cords just won't cut it for some types of motions.

3. That scene where there were two cars blocking the road, and Logan's girlfriend did this I-can-control-your-mind-when-I-touch-you thing? Two words: TOO CONTRIVED. The screenwriters could've done better. But then again, screenwriting is hard work. Sorry.

4. Patrick Stewart's makeup was freaky. It was supposed to make him look like Professor X thirty years younger or something, but the result: Failed! Like they injected his face with Botox. Ugh. Why couldn't they do it properly like Benjamin Button?

5. They seem to have made this film for women. Check out the score: Poster boys: four (that's Hugh Jackman, Taylor Kitsch, Daniel Henney, and Ryan Reynolds); hot girls: one (Logan's girlfriend). That's it. Boo.

6. And finally, we all know Wolverine loses his memory somehow, yet how does it really happen? Adamantium bullets to the head. Based on the flimsy theory that a brain concussion may not kill him, but it sure as hell would erase his memory. Lame-O!

So there you have it. It was a superb superhero flick. Makes me want to wait for X-Men Origins: Magneto. Or so I've been told that would be next on the Origins list.


*some info from IMDb
pic from thecia.com.au


X-Men Origins: Wolverine. USA. 2009.


Rating: Six and a half out of ten.



You may also want to read other X-Men reviews such as X-Men: First Class.