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The Top 10 12 of 2010

It’s usually the Top 12 of the year, but since it’s 2010, I was hoping to do a Top 10. Like Top 10 of 2010. You know, so that it like, rhymes. Whatever.

But due to the fact that an eight-way tie vied for only six slots, I decided, "What the heck," and threw in two more to make it twelve.

"But twelve is a magic number."

"It sure is."

For films with multiple reviews, the mean average rating of all the reviews becomes the film’s final score.

This year, Filipino films have been included in the tally. But sadly, Filipino films still suck, story-wise. Production-wise, no question: Pinoy rom-coms are as well-made as their Hollywood counterparts. But it’s either the acting, or the story itself, that pulls them down. Hence, only two local films made it to the final ten twelve.

If I were Indian, living in India, writing the same blog, it would probably be an entirely Bollywood list. If I were Chinese, living in Hong Kong, writing the same blog, it would probably be a list composed entirely of Hong Kong cinema. But sadly, I am a Filipino, living in the Philippines, so this is a Hollywood-dominated list.

But I look forward to the time when Da Couch Tomato’s year-end list will be dominated by Filipino films. I am pretty certain that another golden age is just around the corner, when, armed with just enough money for one movie ticket, the intelligent and discerning Filipino moviegoer would choose a local film over a Hollywood one. Even if it’s in 3D.

And now, here are the Top 12 films of 2010. The first eight (or the bottom eight, if ranked) are in no particular order, being the eight-way tie I mentioned earlier. And again, the films' titles link back to their original review.

Number 5 (Eight-way tie)

The multi-million dollar 3D conversion budget... down the drain.

We're not judging this as a 3D flick. Because it failed in that category. There's just no substitute for shooting in 3D. Of course, having another eccentric Johnny Depp character to root for, with a story that appeals to the hippie inside each and everyone of us, makes us forgive Tim Burton for messing with the canon.

Number 5 (Eight-way tie)

"Hey Bradley... what's wrong with my acting?"

Wait, how did this film get in here? I honestly don't know how this movie rated higher than, say, My Amnesia Girl or Shutter Island. I mean, I could like change the ratings at the last minute, just so we don't have a Liam Neeson film on the list. But I'll let it stay, as a reminder NOT to get blown away by the action sequences next time.

Number 5 (Eight-way tie)

The trains are the real stars of this film, not Denzel.

It's Tony Scott. That should be enough for you.

Number 5 (Eight-way tie)

Mmm... Lovi Poe...

I've always foreseen that a Cinemalaya film will eventually make this list, and it finally has. Cinemalaya is the best place to look for refreshing local films. Major studio productions may be better-made, but that's because they have more money. They are, however, formulaic, as they are primarily money-makers more than works of art. Cinemalaya, on the other hand, has no formulas. Which means more artistic freedom. Which means more original stories. You get my point.

Number 5 (Eight-way tie)

"I make cornrows look good on white guys."

What a great risk the producers took in greenlighting this film. While putting Robert De Niro and Al Pacino together onscreen proved disastrous, putting Edward Norton against Bobby D seemed to work. But don't be too hasty in blaming Pacino. Maybe seeing two manly former Godfathers was just too much awesome for the average moviegoer to handle.

Number 5 (Eight-way tie)

"What exactly am I?"

Watch out, Pixar. There's a new kid on the playground. But only time will tell if Illumination Studio's success with this film is beginner's luck, or just good quality non-Pixar storytelling. (Note to self: Must stop mentioning Pixar when discussing computer-animated films.)

Number 5 (Eight-way tie)

Wearing glasses doesn't make him less of a douche.

It's about Facebook, and the main character's mug just graced the cover of Time Magazine as "Person of the Year". That's that. Oh, and Justin Timberlake's very convincing portrayal.

Number 5 (Eight-way tie)

"Today, the Philippines. Tomorrow, the world!"

Watch out, Pixar. There's a new kid who wants to enter the playground. But it might take a few more years before this new kid can stand up to the bullies. Wait, I just mentioned Pixar again. Damn.

Whew, that's that for the eight-way tie. Here's another tie for third and fourth.

Number 3 (Tie)

Or, How to Score Chicks With an Awesome Flying Dragon.

Watch out, Pixar. That kid named DreamWorks Animation is already kicking your ass, and you don't even know it.

Number 3 (Tie)

"Put on your sad faces. This is the last Toy Story film."

Pixar doesn't need to watch out for those other kids. Pixar is still the biggest bully on the computer-animation playground. Pixar was the only one who made me cry. Imagine a grown man crying. Over an animated film. About toys.

Number 2

"I call dibs on Chloë Grace Moretz!"
Nicholas Cage's acting becomes forgivable in this film. And it does nothing to dilute the sheer awesomeness of the action sequences. And also, it has Chloë Grace Moretz.

And finally, the best film of 2010 is…

Number 1

"Hey, check out my Moonwalk."

Just read the review. We just love Inception so much. There are even two special posts about it. One’s about Donald Duck. The other’s about how awesome Dom Cobb is. Just to clarify, it’s the character that Leonardo DiCaprio plays, and not Leo himself, that smacks of pure awesomeness that the Catholic Church may soon canonize Dom Cobb as the patron saint of lucid dreaming. Impossible, you say, because Dom Cobb is a fictional character? Well so is Michael the Archangel, but that didn’t stop him on his road to sainthood.

"Don't let nobody break your stride. Don't let nobody slow you down."

*some info from Lyrics Mode
pics from O By the Way, LDS Today, Ace Showbiz, Unreality Mag, Film Book, Spot.ph, Flicks and Bits, It's Stella Ng, EMC Blue, Spot.ph again, Times Union, The Real Unmasked Blog, Amazon, Digital Trends, and Salve Maria Regina.


Anonymous said...

nice list :)

Anonymous said...

nice list :)

Thank you, thank you. Have a happy new year!

hey dude, your blog title caught my eyes, haha. it seems like you've been around for some time now. I've been thinking if i should change the name of my blog since it's a bit similar to yours. anyways, nice blog!

Thank you Epoy. Read your blog. Hehe.

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