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Blue Mountain State. Season One

I know of very few sports shows. Come to think of it, this may be the only one I know. And it's funny as hell. Might be a bit adult-oriented sometimes, but it's still damn funny. Even though the only football I know is played with a goalkeeper.

1. "It's Called Hazing, Look It Up!"
What's a great caption for four almost-naked men running?
What the hell is that? That's hazing, of course. Welcome to college, bitches.

2. "Promise Ring"
Ooh, baby.
You want to know what's up with his face? He's wearing a ring... full of shit. Literally. A ring with human feces.

3. "Pocket Pussy"
"You want a Pringle, Moran?"
That guy on the right is my favorite character in this series. And that thing he's holding is a pocket pussy.

4. "Rivalry Weekend"
No funny caption available.
Check out those things on their candles. I assume that kind of shields your hands from dripping hot wax. Now why don't have those in this country?

5. "There's Only One Second Best"
"These Wayfarers make me look ten times cooler."
And that is my second favorite character in this series. Sammy. The mascot. Payback's a bitch, bitch.

6. "Drug Olympics"
My ideal last supper.
Yes, that's what the title says. And yes, that's what the picture shows. (Not pictured: drool on my chin)

7. "The Legend of the Golden Arm"
"Shit! My elbow looks like a knee!"
Yup, that's Golden Arm (sounds like a cool cyborg, doesn't it?). And yes, that's his right arm bent at a grotesque angle. And yes, that's his throwing arm. Just watch the show.

8. "LAX"
A painting that looks like the Declaration of Independence. Or something.
No, not Los Angeles Airport. I think it stands for "lacrosse" or something. And honestly, I don't think real-life lacrosse players are such losers. But this show sure makes them out to be.

9. "Midterms"
Double your pleasure, double your fun.
The perennial debate of athletics v. academics finally takes on a totally different color—the pale color of an old woman’s withered hand rubbing against the vibrant pinkish hue of a Caucasian cock. Like we really wanted to know that.

10. "Marathon Monday"
"Wish we had San Miguel beer, yo."
Alcohol from sun-up to sundown. Why o why did I not have that back in college? Oh wait, I kind of did. But mine was THC from sun-up to sundown. To sun-up again.

11. "Ransom"
That’s my favorite character taking out a used condom from his mouth. And take note: that condom ain’t his. And he did that after screaming like a sissy. Wonderful acting.

12. "Piss Test"
Weiners galore.
This may be the grossest episode ever, what with fake dongs and placing tubes inside your dick creeping into the dialogue every few minutes. But that girl who sells those fake dicks looks really hot.

13. "Bowl Game"
"Oh no. That's not mustard, is it?"
Great work. Cliffhanger. And I have basically no idea how that first scene connected with the rest of the story.

And now, on to Season Two.

*some info from IMDb

Rating: Seven point eight out of ten.


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