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Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. 3D

First, a review of the 3D, before we review the film itself.

Some of you may wonder if this is indeed a 3D film. It is. It's even real 3D, not that converted crap Hollywood keeps spewing out. But the 3D is so subtle, it's like it's not even there.

That is of course a safe way to make sure that the stereography is done correctly. As long as it's not eye-straining to watch, then that means it's good stereography.

Is it ever eye-straining to watch this face in 3D?

However, 3D storytelling should actually have the stereography follow the flow of the narrative. When the action becomes intense, or when the narrative enters a critical plot point, then the 3D intensity should also increase accordingly. So for more intense scenes, you should have hyper-stereo images.

In this film, the 3D was subtle all throughout the movie. The 3D intensity hardly changed at all. Don't get me wrong, though. The 3D was good. But that is not a correct way to tell a 3D story.


Okay, now on to the regular review.

Frankly, I've only liked one Pirates film, and that's the first one. As the series moved toward stranger and stranger tides, I've lost interest. It just became too... supernatural for me. I wish they stopped at the third one.

This film, too, has some supernatural elements. But not as far-fetched as the ones involving a talking octopus and a giant squid.

This film, by the way, is not intended to be taken as a part of the first three films. I think they're trying to revamp the franchise. Yes, there are some familiar faces such as Geoffrey Rush:

Pirate Privateer Captain Barbossa.

And also the sometimes-annoying Kevin McNally as Mr. Gibbs:

With his always-annoying sideburns.

And also the real-life inspiration for Jack Sparrow, rock legend Keith Richards:

A rolling stone gathers no moss.

That's about it. The rest are totally new additions to the franchise. For one, this film has no Black Pearl. Instead, they have this ship:

The Queen Anne's Revenge. Or, the Black Pearl in a different costume.

No Keira Knightley. Instead:

Penélope Cruz is like Keira Knightley with bigger breasts.

No Orlando Bloom. Instead:

I'm not sure if his character was even necessary.

And no Davy Jones. Instead:

Ian McShane makes a damn good pirate.

I don't really know when Jerry Bruckheimer plans to put an end to this franchise. Bringing in Rob Marshall to man the helm, despite having no experience with action movies, seems to be a questionable move. But even more questionable is the fact that there seems to be no horizon in sight for this franchise. Because after the end credits, there's a pretty explicit reference to a fifth film.

Johnny Depp being dragged to pre-production for Pirates 5.

And as my last words for this review, I'd just like to say that the Pirates franchise has come full circle. It has now become what it originally was─a ride. That's right. The franchise has no solid narrative, no backbone to fall back on. We viewers are expected to hop on board and follow Jack Sparrow in his many adventures, wherever they might take us. And the thing is, I don't think I can follow this anymore.

Not unless they can pull this off for the fifth film.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. USA. 2011.

Rating: Five out of ten.
3D-ness: Six out of ten.

*some info from IMDb
pics from How Stuff Works and YouTube

You may also want to read the review for Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End.


_yle said...

That bad, huh?

Yes, that bad. But go watch it if you're a fan of Captain Jack Sparrow. Hehe.

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