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Thursday, February 2, 2012

Sleeping Beauty Review, or A Nude Emily Browning Isn't Enough to Keep Me Awake

Reason to watch it: Emily Browning's Nudity.


"Just making sure you're not a tranny."

You may want to see how Emily Browning's body looks like sans vêtements. At first, of course, it's something new. Fresh meat, literally.


Hoping to land a lingerie endorsement deal.

Then you start to see the nuances in Emily Browning's body. Like she's too white, as in cadaver-white. And her feet are too small.


"Yuck! My feet are smaller than Chinese feet!"

When I was a kid, I remembered having this nauseous feeling whenever my eyes made contact with pornographic images. And that same feeling of nausea definitely haunted me while watching this.


Reason not to watch it: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.


"Oh my. She fell asleep from sheer boredom!"

The story was so boring, and so poorly told, that I'll just share with you another story. This is the story of how I watched this flick without paying for my ticket.

It all began in Robinsons Metro East Cinema 4, where I was watching Immortals. After the movie, I made my way to Cinema 4's restroom, which had a sign on the door saying, "Please proceed to the Cinema 3 restroom". So I did. When I noticed that no one was looking, I went inside Cinema 3 and found an empty seat. I thought Cinema 3 was playing The Adventures of Tintin, but I was greeted by Emily Browning's pretty face. So I decided to sit it out, and began to notice that there were only five people in the entire cinema, and all of us were males.

The end.



Sleeping Beauty. Australia. 2011.



Rating: Three out of ten.
My restroom anecdote: Seven out of ten.




*some info from IMDb

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

where is the like button ^^

Sting Lacson said...

Thank you. You can try the +1 button. :-)