Kiko Machine Komix Blg. 5! Alab ng Puso Sa Dibdib Mo'y Buhay ni Manix Abrera

image source: http://kikokomix.darkbb.com/forum.htm

So this is how it goes, from second grade up to summer after high school, there were really only two prominent laugh-out-loud-rolling-on-the-floor komiks for me: Pugad Baboy and Beerkada.

That was until Beerkada felt too stale and everyone's talking too much in English and I just couldn't relate anymore. Pugad Baboy, okay, I don't have much complaints, only that I don't know if the author's released any new latest issues recently. Or maybe I just haven't felt the longing to read those characters as of now.

Thank God for Kikomachine though. Something new and something politically progressive. It felt like a long, long time since I rolled on the floor.

Stories about a bunch of college students and then other weird─and I stand by this next adjective─profound shit. Like the previous issues, the characters still don't have names but are still memorable. And though, everyone pretty much talks the same way (rakenrol, asteeg), Manix Abrera manages to establish distinct personalities for each one of the main characters.

That aside, I really have to mention its politics. This is what moves it a notch higher from the previous komiks I was used to. Minus the language used, Beerkada and Pugad Baboy pretty much thinks the same way when it comes to social issues. Abrera, I believe, crticizes the stinkhole that is our society much more direct but manages it to be light and serious all at the same time. My favorite is his take on university administration's withholding of funds for the student university newspaper. The last panel shows a giant note that covers the characters that were discussing the injustice of such administration decision.

The giant note reads, "Censored topic. Bakit, sino aangal? Ha? Ha? - Admin".

You find these jokes side by side with correctly done puns. And contrary to popular belief, puns are funny. Especially when it's Abrera who cracks it. And of course, the oh-my-god-this-is-so-corny-it's-good ones.

"With great power comes great kili-kili. Kaya the greater the kili-kili, the greater the responsibility."

Laugh, goddamit. That's pure genius, I tell you.

This issue also features Bertong Badtrip, and funny but profound takes on old myths as well as inventing new ones, such as where did the saying "panahon pa ni kopong-kopong" came from.

8/10

(My Two Cents on) Splice

I admit that I just watched this movie because there were no other movies to watch. I was quite hesitant to watch this flick because I already kinda knew (based on the trailer alone) what will happen. And I wasn't wrong. This film really didn't leave me feelin' satisfied.

Personal feelings aside, I think this film just had one main theme. Reproduction. Or in layman's terms...SEX!

I also had the feeling that I was robbed. That's because as I've said in the beginning of this rant that I already knew what was comin' even before I witnessed the movie. It was just about "splicing" genes, that's it! They're sorta like mixing and matching human and animal DNA/RNA (whatever!) to create a new specie. The only thing that I didn't know about was that they're actually trying to synthesize or create a new protein that could battle certain diseases.

Another "robbing" factor of this movie is the fact that it was for 2009. Or if you look on the internet, it would say "Splice (2009)". And it's already past the midway point of 2010. I should've just watched it on DVD. Too bad I don't have that option right now.

Just to get that "robbed" feeling away, I had to convince myself that I was sorta entertained by everything. I didn't realize that Sarah Polley (who was Elsa Kast in the movie) has a li'l hotness in her. Now why the fuck did I not find that "li'l hotness" in her back in Dawn Of The Dead when she still looks virtually the same anyway?!?

Adrien Brody still looks like Raymond Bagatsing IMHO. He also looks geeky (perfect for his scientist role here). That is I think the "geeky hotness" that some females are looking for.

And I just want to add something completely irrelevant to the film. The lady who played Dren (a.k.a. "The New Specie") named Delphine Chaneac looks a lot like that chick FHM model who lives here in our subdivision named Jane Montemayor.






Being the Russian judge on this one, I give Splice a 5.5 out of a 10.



*images from IMDb and Jane Montemayor's personal Facebook account.

"Major-Major" is the New "Bonggang-Bongga"

Anyway, although we are all proud of Ms. Raj, I would just like to point out the essence of the question asked by William Baldwin.



Billy Baldwin's exact question: "What is one big mistake that you've made in your life and what did you do to make it right?"

What that question really means: I know you're like a goddess, with that height and that figure and all, and I know I wouldn't say no if you asked me to your hotel room. But I know you're not a goddess. You're just human. And so as a human, I know you make mistakes. Tell me something that will reveal your human side.

What the judges want to hear is any answer that will show people that these women are not goddesses, but mere mortals born with beautiful faces and deliciously long legs. So any answer that goes along the lines of "I have no flaws" will not sit well with the judges.

Just check out Baldwin's reaction at 0:35. It's like, "Okay, wrong answer. You won't win. But I still want to go to your hotel room."

Well, if I were her, this is what I would answer to that question: I have not one but three big mistakes in my life. First is not pausing for a few seconds to think of my answer; second is thinking I am perfect; and third is using "major-major" in a sentence.


And although I have developed a new man-crush on Billy Baldwin, let us end this post with a picture of the most beautiful woman in the universe for the year 2010, Señorita Jimena Navarrete:

 *video from MrWattatoe on YouTube
pic from lehighvalleylive.com

Salt

Salt quenched my thirst for a strong relevant female lead in movies today. But it just doesn't cut it through and through.

CIA Evelyn Salt (Angelina Jolie) is accused of being a Russian sleeper agent who will kill the Russian president during the late American vice-president's funeral. She denies the accusation but escapes anyway, sending questions all over.

I have never sacredly watched The Bourne Trilogy in full (and I read somewhere that it's what they aspire the film to be, except of course, having a female lead) so I don't know if they had the same flow but some aspects of Jason Bourne are present. But I can say it had a pinch of the story of The Manchurian Candidate. Overall, the action is great, especially having used almost old-school filming techniques all the way. But the story, although plausible, is a little bland. It was so-so, unconvincing, and very lacking in motive. It could have been implied throughout the movie, but just ever so thinly. Me wanting definitive answers? Not satisfied.

So much has been said in the press about Salt being originally written with a male lead. May I just say again that Jolie is the one woman today who can headline an action flick like any other person with a set of balls out there. She's tough doing almost all of her stunts but still has the emotion for her character, not totally breaking down but always picking herself up and moving forward. Any girl who still hates her for stealing Brad Pitt from Jennifer Aniston way back should wake up now. Really. Her authentic portrayal of strength and sexuality are the reasons men dig her on and off screen (and maybe minus the half a dozen tots in tow sometimes)!


Salt gets a six out of ten, for twists and turns here and there, a strong female lead, but a BLAH (in big bold letters) in the end.


P.S. Special thanks to Liev Schreiber and Chiwetel Ejiofor for being such great support leads. Your days as Sabertooth and the guy who got married in Love Actually are such nice flashbacks to how veteran team players you both are.


*photo from allmoviephoto.com

Mayohan

Cinemalaya’s 6^th year has brought us Dan Villegas and Paul Sta. Ana’s coming-of-age film, Mayohan. Awarded Best Actress for Lovie Poe, Best Screenplay, Best Cinematography and Best Musical Score in the New Breed Category, Mayohan is a celebration of the season’s harvest and the season to find romance. The townsfolk convene in prayer (Padasal) for a number of nights, culminating in a candle-lit parade and a festive dance (Pasayaw) by month’s end. This story tells us of the unseen and the taboo changing the meaning of tradition over time. It also tells us of a city boy finding rest and healing in the province from his traumatic past by the budding of a first love.

Elias (Elijah Castillo) is a young teen brought over to Infanta, Quezon during the summer break. His aunt wants him to be able to put his mind and body at ease from the accident that cost him a limp leg along with his parents’ life. On a night of Padasal, Elias introduces himself to Lilibeth (Lovi Poe), an older teenager, and president of the organizing committee of the Pasayaw. The following day, even with his limp leg, he accompanies her to the far ends of their town as she gathers donations from men for the funding of the culminating event. It is later revealed that girls who participate in the Pasayaw cannot decline from whoever chooses to dance with them. Also, that the Pasayaw, taboo for the promiscuous activities of the town’s youth, is the “modern” where and when of losing virginity. However, Elias’s affection for Lilibeth has not been tarnished or moved an inch by the words of his too-promiscuous uncle (Ping Medina) who reminded him that probinsyanas are far from pure. This is actually my favorite and one of the strong points of the film: breaking the romanticized, pedestaled myth of the probinsyana. 

Though it rescued the blah scenes where the shots weren’t really visually expressive but only served as time pieces to build up Elijah’s affection, the score was too close to that of Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist. Shots of the beach, were too obviously graded. This wouldn’t normally bother me if it were part of the core visual theme or better, as part of the story. But realism was more of a key note in this. So, no.

Still, points for a good story and a fresh take. And multitasking as a director/DOP for a shooting schedule of 10 days. And having a real fight happen in the middle of shooting the fake one.

8 out of 10.

Photos from: Mayohan's Facebook

A Tribute to an Endearing Genuis

Lol forgive me for my insolence but the last "relevant" movie i saw on cinema was Alice in Wonderland. Yes.

Forgive me also because I'm about to share with you... Charlie Chaplin. yes. And if you haven't seen any of the unfamiliar Charlie---shaved, or aged OR talking---then now's the time to continue to support the pirated industry lol.

Over a week's time, my parents and I shared and lol-ed over the genius of a genuine auteur. So I'll be stingy with you, encouraging you to take your part in movie-magick.


The Great Dictator

The Great Dictator is a classic charlie, taking auteur-ship to the next level as he plays both protagonist and an "antagonistic" hitler stereotype. What a laugh! I guess he figured nobody can do it better than himself. Very good decision though, as you'll soon realise why so.


Monsieur Verdoux

Monsieur Verdoux is based on an idea by Orson Welles. And if you say you know Charlie, then you know him less. Henri Verdoux is the next big step to breaking your illusions of Chaplin, comedy, and life in general.


A King of New York

A King in New York features Charlie's own son Michael. The kid delivers a blow to a system that is to this day continually being challenged. Heads up sheep! Lol.


Limelight

And lastly, forget the many romantic koo koo designed to empty your romantic pockets. Limelight is hinged on true love, and contemplates on Charles' own life-career─with an energising slap in the face. How you will get that depends on how crippled (or un-crippled) you are with your own life.

On a consistently quick note: apart from being an overall hero, Charles is similarly a hero in selecting his lead women. Watta chap! We simply love and adore him :)

And haven't I told you Robert Downey, Jr. also did Chaplin? I think they both liked it. Oh yeah.

run pirate consumer (run)!

Out of 10 stars:

The Great Dictator, 7.5

Monsieur Verdoux, 9

A King in New York, 8

Limelight, 9


Another title, Modern Life, 7 of 10, for music and bias lol.


pics:

The Great Dictator reverseshot.com
Monsieur Verdoux doctormacro.com
A King in New York chaplin.bfi.org.uk
Limelight metroclassics.blogspot.com

The Expendables

Just when you thought you couldn't inject any more testosterone into a flick, then along comes this Stallone creation. Sly's a fuckin' genius! Who would've ever thought of assembling a gang of (over the hill) Hollywood action studs?!? No one this side of the Milky Way, that's who! Too bad my other faves like JCVD (Jean Claude Van-Damme for all you giblets not in the know), Chuck Norris, and Steven Seagal didn't find their way into The Expendables roster.

Seemed like this movie was just about a bunch of guys who just want to hurt each other, as well as other guys. There was really no trace of a plot except for one that involves killing a former CIA agent who went rogue and now holds a small island in the Mexican Gulf named Vilena and controls the dictator there, as well as the drugs that flow out of that place.

But I really don't give a dang about any plots in this movie. I'm just a sucker for cheesy one-liners and massive explosions, plus a lot of blood!

Now let me throw in my two cents to the stars of this movie. Here goes...

Sylvester Stallone─could still run through the jungle like John Rambo (though not as fast). Him clashing with Dolph Lundgren brings back memories of Rocky 4.

Jason Statham─still has the 'ole The Transporter moves, and the 'ole Turkish (Snatch) accent. Watching a lot of live UFC events proved to be beneficial too because he was able to infuse his MMA moves into the movie fight sequences (that goes for Stallone, too, who was doin' an arm bar on Stone Cold).

Jet Li─showed traces of Once Upon A Time In China meets Romeo Must Die fight techniques. Less talk and more martial arts!

Dolph Lundgren─sounds exactly like Ivan Drago who just learned English or somethin'. Why can't he sound like He-Man?!?

Mickey Rourke─minimum lines equals maximum effect. Less is more indeed.

Randy Couture─has probably done more Superman Punches than any other Hollywood actor in history. Also looks more "Natural" (no pun intended) than Rampage Jackson in front of a camera. Too bad The A-Team didn't do as well as this flick when it was released back in June.

Terry Crews─added more muscle to the testosterone. Also busted a move (like he always does in his movies). Dancers really can't help it.

Stone Cold Steve Austin─stuck with his own Texan accent and tried to sound tough (like he always does in WWE). A Stone Cold Stunner was actually executed in this flick. But it wasn't Austin who did it (could've been either Randy "The Natural" Couture or Jason "The Transporter" Statham).

Arnold Schwarzenegger─try and take a closer look and you will see that Arnold kinda' walks like The Terminator itself.

Bruce Willis─Mr. "Calm Demeanor" himself.


And oh! They could've picked a prettier Latina actress to play the part of the General's daughter (though I wouldn't think twice if this girl stripped right in front of me). The thing was that where were all the women in this film where all the alpha males were at?!?

And no kissing scene too? WTF?!? Stallone kinda' feinted a kiss, but that's the nearest thing to a kiss that we're ever gonna see in that movie. Too bad!

Well, that's basically my  two cents. If you have a sharp eye, you would actually see the Nogueira twins (Minotauro and Minotouro, or probably just one of them) playin' Vilena soldiers. My guess is that Randy Couture invited 'em or something.

For all its worth, I give this a 6.5 out of a 10. A 9.9 out of 10 though for the superb casting and excessive explosions. The missin' .1 was for the MIA (missin' in action) guys (JCVD, Chucky boy, and Steven "Emotionless" Seagal).





*image source: http://www.collider.com/wp-content/uploads/The-Expendables-movie-poster1-404x600.jpg

Guards! Guards! by Terry Pratchett

This Discworld novel is about some bad guys summoning a dragon to usher in a king that they can control. The good guys, the Watch, will reluctantly save the day.

I read Terry Pratchett to: one, grit my teeth through old man's ranting on how the common little people are stupid and how the world sucks; because two, I expect that laughing my heart out would override all the cynical rants.

Unfortunately, I picked the wrong Discworld novel to make me laugh my heart out and sometimes, I just couldn't bear Pratchett's society-can-be-so-immoral preaching. It's like I'm not watching enough Law & Order to know that humanity is scary, Mr. Pratchett has to hammer my head in.

But forget everything I said, a Discworld novel is still a Discworld novel. It's funny and let's you rest from, well, anything that may be bothering you.

But, still, out of failed expectations, I'll give it a 5.

5/10

The Double by Jose Saramago

image source: http://www.yoygle.com/l/uk/Books/266239,62,275024/1/By-Period.Jose-Saramago.html

The Double? Uh, okay. It's a... book. With characters. And um, conflict. It's engaging... somehow. I guess my big problem about it is afterwards, I don't care much about the characters and the conflict. And how I was engaged when I was reading it.

The Double seems cute enough. There's this boring old guy who found out that somewhere out there, there's a person exactly just like him. Not his twin, not a clone or anything. Just someone exactly like him. Not even that, the person is him, except with the different wives and jobs and lifestyles and all that. It's supposed to rattle our affinity with individualism and glorified uniqueness. And of course, Jose Saramago did a pretty good job in outlining the perfect breakdown for that unimaginable situation. However, it's just that, I really can't bring myself to caring.

One, I've always felt like there's no originality nowadays. We're all sheep. Let's deal with this.

Two, the lead boring old guy is a jerk. An understandable jerk, you have to give him that, but a jerk nonetheless. The psychological background on his fear of commitment does not justify stringing along his lover. As Kimya Dawson said, having been fucked is no excuse for being fucked up.

Three, although I knew something bad was going to happen in the end, the actions and situations seemed a bit forced and rushed.

Four, don't get me started on women characters, their only worth in the story is to be used for revenge.

Not that the author is not aware of the cliché-ness of all these things. A lot of the writing's very self-aware and intentionally horrible that it's really funny. And yes, in a good way, because yes, the author was making a joke about the story too.

All in all, the story was meh but I would probably want to read The Double for Jose Saramago's writing style anyway because I finally found someone who thinks it's okay to disregard commas, periods, and paragraphs without resorting to gibberish narrative.

6/10

Grown Ups

I can just imagine Adam Sandler saying, "My bosses at Happy Madison want me to make a new movie, even if I am part of the board. But what I'd really like is to go on vacation. And maybe flirt with Salma Hayek. I know! I'll just round up the old gang, get some lousy script where we get to go to a lake house, then make a movie. That way, I'll be hitting two birds with one stone!"

So Adam Sandler rounds up the entire gang. He calls Rob Schneider, and tells him, "Hey Rob, we need your insane sexual humor in this film." Then he calls David Spade and says, "Hey David, your career needs to be resurrected, I can help you with that." Then he calls Chris Rock and tells him, "Hey Chris, we need one black guy in this movie, wanna come? You're not allowed to make racist jokes, though." Then he calls Kevin James and says, "Hey Kevin, we need a fat ass in this movie, and Tom Arnold is too old. We need someone around our age, even if you're not as famous as us." Then he calls Salma Hayek, and offers her a part, but of course he doesn't mention his hidden agenda. And he starts flirting from the first phone call.

Of course, Steve Buscemi is part of the old gang, but Adam Sandler tells him, "Hey Steve, I want you to be in this movie, but you've grown old, really, bug-eyed and ugly, so I can't give you a lead part. You can have a supporting part though. How about one of the villain bullies?"

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how they made Grown-Ups.*


*Actual conversation may differ.


*some info from IMDb
pic from daemonsmovies.com


Rating: Five out of ten.