Grown Ups

I can just imagine Adam Sandler saying, "My bosses at Happy Madison want me to make a new movie, even if I am part of the board. But what I'd really like is to go on vacation. And maybe flirt with Salma Hayek. I know! I'll just round up the old gang, get some lousy script where we get to go to a lake house, then make a movie. That way, I'll be hitting two birds with one stone!"

So Adam Sandler rounds up the entire gang. He calls Rob Schneider, and tells him, "Hey Rob, we need your insane sexual humor in this film." Then he calls David Spade and says, "Hey David, your career needs to be resurrected, I can help you with that." Then he calls Chris Rock and tells him, "Hey Chris, we need one black guy in this movie, wanna come? You're not allowed to make racist jokes, though." Then he calls Kevin James and says, "Hey Kevin, we need a fat ass in this movie, and Tom Arnold is too old. We need someone around our age, even if you're not as famous as us." Then he calls Salma Hayek, and offers her a part, but of course he doesn't mention his hidden agenda. And he starts flirting from the first phone call.

Of course, Steve Buscemi is part of the old gang, but Adam Sandler tells him, "Hey Steve, I want you to be in this movie, but you've grown old, really, bug-eyed and ugly, so I can't give you a lead part. You can have a supporting part though. How about one of the villain bullies?"

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how they made Grown-Ups.*


*Actual conversation may differ.


*some info from IMDb
pic from daemonsmovies.com


Rating: Five out of ten.