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Game of Thrones. Season 2, Episode 1: "The North Remembers"

Oh, Game of Thrones. I missed you. It's been, what, one year? About time, HBO!

I missed the opening credits. Hearing the music again gave me semi-goosebumps (which are like goosebumps, only less bumpy). And they have a new place on the map.

Game of Thrones
Home of Stannis and Davos.

And now that Ned Stark's gone, who will replace Sean Bean as the top-billed name in the opening credits? I'll give you a clue. He has an Emmy. And a Golden Globe.

Game of Thrones
"After six seasons and a movie, I'll have an Oscar."

I missed Daenerys Targaryen. Now that Khal Drogo's gone, she has no one to take care of her. I would seriously like to give her a bath, because she's obviously neglected her hygiene.

Game of Thrones
You can throw in that servant girl as well.

I missed Melisandre. No, just kidding. This is her first appearance. But I've seen so much of her in the previews already. Although after seeing her, I wonder if Karen Gillan would make a better hotter Melisandre, seeing as they're both ginger.

Game of Thrones
"You know I'm not a real ginger, right?"

I missed the direwolves. Oh look, is that Grey Wind? Damn, that dog is huge. Everytime I see dogs that huge, I am always reminded of Siberian Huskies and their ability to literally bite your balls off.

Game of Thrones
Now where's that weirdly-named direwolf Shaggydog?

I missed Joffrey Baratheon. Just kidding. Nobody misses a douchebag like that. He still tops my list of "fictional characters that I would like to punch in the face". Props to the actor Jack Gleeson, though, for portraying one of the most despicable rulers to ever sit the iron throne. I wouldn't be surprised if one day he attends a geek convention and he gets beat up for the sole reason of his onscreen douchebaggery.

Game of Thrones
Don't want to caption this with someting bad,
lest I get my head cut off.

I missed Cersei Lannister. I missed her bitch moves, her bitch lines, her bitch face─everything. She takes bitchiness to a whole new level. She is actual proof that Westeros isn't strictly a man's world. It can be a woman's world, too. In her own words, "Power is power. Bitches." (She didn't actually say the last word.)

Cersei Lannister's famous bitch slap.

And finally, I missed Arya Stark. But I'll just have to wait until next episode.

Game of Thrones
"I'll be kicking ass in the next episodes."


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