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Review of Titanic 3D, or This Is the Only Converted 3D Flick I'm Watching This Year


First, the 3D review, just to get it out of the way.

Converted 3D has a totally different look compared to real 3D. Converted 3D is hyper-real, meaning it is even more 3D than actual 3D. With 3D conversion, you control the stereo depth─you can make characters pop out more if you want them to. And James Cameron knows this, because he knows stereography.

Sadly, they couldn't make Kate Winslet's nipples pop out more.

However, there is only so much 3D conversion can do. The original footage was never intended for 3D, which is why there are a lot of tracking shots and fast camera movements, things which stereographers generally avoid, as they spoil the 3D effect. Even the dissolves didn't feel like 3D dissolves, wherein you feel one layer of film atop the other. I think they converted the entire dissolve instead of converting the individual shots and dissolving both.

"Eh? You lost me at 3D."

Anyway, James Cameron tried his best.

Now we go to the regular review.

So, apart from the 3D, how is this re-release different from the Titanic movie of 1997 ('98 in the Philippines)? How is this different from the movie I cut classes for on the first day of its release? How is this different from the film I've seen thirteen times in the cinema and countless times on VHS?

As far as I know, nothing's changed, except for the stars. The story of Cameron's encounter with Neil deGrasse Tyson has already made its rounds on the Internet. So that's the only thing the director changed with his million-dollar baby. Pity he couldn't change that shot where Kate Winslet looked like a Michael V impersonation.

What changed, though, is your perception. You as a viewer back in '98 are no longer the same viewer that you are right now. Aside from aging physically, you've also aged emotionally. Now you can connect more with Billy Zane's emotions when he sees his fiancée falling head-over-heels in love with a poor boy. Now you can appreciate the injustice of class division (especially after watching Downton Abbey). Now you can feel more sentimental with the sinking ship montage.

This still remains my favorite shot in the entire film.

Now you can see that it's Theoden, King of Rohan who's captain of the Titanic. Now you can see that the kindest officer on the ship is Mr. Fantastic with an Irish accent.

Yes, that's Ioan Gruffudd. Just google how to
pronounce his first name.

Now you can realize that Kate Winslet does look fat in some shots. And now you can appreciate that Leonardo DiCaprio's acting skills have come a long way since the late 90s.

And now you can also realize that if he had his way, Cameron would never touch 3D conversion with a ten-foot pole. The only reason he re-released his Best Picture baby is because this April commemorates the 100th year since the sinking of this vessel. And he doesn't mind if he makes himself a couple million dollars in the process.

"King of the world, right?"

Titanic. USA. 2012/1997

Rating: Eight out of ten.


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