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Skyfall

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Skyfall is probably the only James Bond film with a title that doesn't sound like a Bond film. It sounds more like the title of a BBC documentary, possibly narrated by Daniel Craig.

"Make sure to get a clear shot of his watch.
This film relies on product placement."

Anyway, here are some of the highlights of this film:

1. New Q
This film marks the first time that the character Q is played by a younger actor, Ben Whishaw, whose hair and overall geekiness might remind some people of Matt Smith from Doctor Who.

A bow tie would've looked great.

And with the new Q, we also get a new weapons philosophy: less is more. No fancy hi-tech gadgets in this flick. All James Bond has is a Walther PPK with biometric recognition (fingerprint-activated) and a radio transmitter. That's it.

And of course, an Aston Martin.


2. Non-traditional Bond girl
From what I remember about Bond girls (or Bond women, as they are now called), the reason that they always cast hot women for the role is so the male audience would have someone to fantasize about, someone they can masturbate to at home, and someone who can make these guys watch the film again and again.

"How much screen time do I have left?"

So it makes no sense to cast the hot Bérénice Marlohe and then kill her halfway through the film. I think she may hold the record for the Bond girl woman with the shortest screen time. Also, where's the Bond sex? The guys in the theater sure as hell didn't pay to watch a quickie distorted by shower glass.

There is, in fact, another Bond woman here, Naomie Harris, but I wouldn't count her as a Bond woman because she doesn't get naked.

Here's another Bond-related woman
you can masturbate to instead.


3. Javier Bardem
In case No Country For Old Men isn't proof enough, Javier Bardem can play a really despicable villain. In fact, I think he'd be the perfect choice to play the Joker, should DC and Warner Bros. decide to continue the post-Nolan Batman franchise. That is if he can work on his accent.

"Hmmmm?"


4. Action in Britain
Because James Bond is such a globetrotter, we sometimes forget that Bond is as British as the bulldog that sits on M's desk. So to make sure we don't forget, the makers of Skyfall made sure to include Britain in this picture.

"Is this London enough for you? Or do you want the London Eye?"

First, of course, there's London, the site of the terror attacks perpetrated by Javier Bardem's character. Then there's the awesome chase scene in the London underground. And finally, there's Skyfall itself. In Scotland.


5. Glimpse into Bond's past
For those not familiar with the Bond books (yes, these movies were once books, written by Sir Ian Fleming), James Bond was not born from a secret laboratory experiment that bred super-spy-soldiers. James Bond was a Scot; technically, half-Scot and half-Swiss French, as seen in his parents's gravestone: Andrew Bond and Monique Bond née Delacroix. To the younger Bond fans, that's sort of like the equivalent of seeng MacGyver's father's gravestone read "Angus MacGyver, Sr."

Except younger fans probably never heard of MacGyver.

Also, Skyfall is actually the name of the Bond family estate, taken care of by Albert Finney, who kind of looks like George R.R. Martin.


6. New M
I admit, I did shed a tear when M died. Judi Dench nailed the role of M so well that I can't imagine any other woman better suited to play the part.

The Telegraph says she deserves an Oscar nomination.

Which is probably why they decided to give M's part to a guy, whose surname just happens to be "Mallory", which also begins with M. So now we have Lord Voldemort heading MI6. Hello, Ralph Fiennes.



Skyfall. UK/USA. 2012.



Rating: Eight out of ten.





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