Review: An Open Letter to Spectre

Chronicle Live

Because skull = ghost = spectre, get it?

Dear Spectre,

I'm sorry, but you have failed.

No, not in your storytelling, or in your narrative execution, or in any other technical element. You have failed as an action film.

What's my basis for saying that, you ask? My basis is you made me doze off. I fell asleep for up to five minute-stretches. Yeah, granted I probably wasn't in tip-top condition while viewing, but that argument is invalid, as I've been able to stay awake watching a few action flicks in the past, despite not having had any sleep the night before. Yes, I understand that action flicks, like roller coaster rides, have lull moments in between action sequences. But you have to either 1) make the lull moments short enough to prevent you from sleeping, or 2) make the action sequences very intense to give you enough adrenaline to carry you through the lull moments. And isn't Sam Mendes more of a drama director?

What's that? You say the Daniel Craig reboot of James Bond flicks is actually the most realistic series in the whole Bond canon, and that action sequences in real life aren't that intense? Really now... well what about that helicopter malfunction over that Mexican plaza? Realistic? Okay, sure, that could happen. Well then, what about Léa Seydoux's character saying "I love you" after such a short time with 007? Exactly.

Now with regard to the theme song, do you guys have a problem with the movie and song sharing the same title? What do you mean "no"? In all twenty-two Bond films (except the first, of course, because the theme song tradition started with the second film From Russia With Love) prior to the latest reboot, only three theme songs did not have the same title as the movie. Three. Out of twenty-two. Now compare that with the reboot from 2006's Casino Royale to the present. Only one film, Skyfall, shared its title with its theme song. Please explain. Who was responsible for this film-theme song title mismatch? Was it Daniel Craig? Or was Adele the only artist who put her foot down and insisted on using the same title? It was Daniel Craig, wasn't it?

Anyway, this was supposed to be a review, but it turned into an open rant letter instead. Again, I blame Daniel Craig.

Mashable

Oh Craig, you lucky bastard.

Spectre. UK. 2015.



Rating: 7.0 / 10
Christoph Waltz wearing shoes without socks: -0.1
Monica Belluci sex scene: +0.1
Underutilising Ben Whishaw: -0.1
Final rating: 6.9 / 10

Skyfall

Modified from Blogger

Skyfall is probably the only James Bond film with a title that doesn't sound like a Bond film. It sounds more like the title of a BBC documentary, possibly narrated by Daniel Craig.

Picture Nose

"Make sure to get a clear shot of his watch.
This film relies on product placement."

Anyway, here are some of the highlights of this film:

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (2011)

Not the kind of dragon art style I imagined as her tat.

I think most, if not all, "Americanized" films—remakes of foreign films, translated into English (with or without accents from the country the story originally hailed from) and with big-time actors—are a waste of money and time, most especially when the original film was brilliantly done. Now you know where by biases lie. But then again, there are some good points to this version.

Just a taste of a big plus reason to watch this film

Title card/opening credits. To post a snapshot would not give justice to this sort of music video that clearly sets the mood of the entire film: dark and disturbing. The music added more bang for your buck there. One thing that was consistent in both film versions is the treatment and gravity of the subject.

Needless to say; it's graphic.

Rooney Mara as Lisbeth Salander is great and she deserves the noms, but I can't help comparing her to Noomi Rapace, who really awesomely rocked the part before her. Touch-move, Rapace was first. But it's all good—even with Daniel Craig, Christopher Plummer, Stellan Skarsgård, and their Swedish-accented English.

"I am insane(-ly great)!" Nod!

Style. The overall look of the film is a welcome improvement: more sophisticated outfits, a really nice newspaper office, and comfy home interiors. Black, white, and subdued colors and lights work. It's noticeable maybe because of the two-year age gap. Swedish style circa 2009 wasn't bad, but I guess Hollywood owns this aspect.

A big contrast to the film's theme and tone—and it looks comfy, too.

A different take. Basically, this version made research into the past more engaging as opposed to the original Swedish version that made the whodunit search a real thrill to watch. It's probably a good thing since I already knew who did it; no more suspense there. The film also focused more on the characters and relationships.

Are you going to stare or are you going to fuck—or cuddle?!

I don't want to rant about the liberal changes this version had taken, but there are a few I feel strongly about: an easy clue to solve the number mystery of the past, their version of Lisbeth and her relationship with Mikhael, and the ending. It also seemed that this film opted to spoon-feed interpretations of character relationships when I didn't have a problem discovering them on my own while watching the original version. See now why I'm biased to the Swedish film?

In the end, it's a good watch—more so, if you haven't seen the original (or read the book)—and we have David Fincher primarily to thank for that.

I've already seen the next two films of the Swedish trilogy. (Yes, I should read the books.) If there are Hollywood remakes of those in the works, let's see then if they can even the score.

Round 1: Swedish Original, 1. Hollywood version, 0.5.


The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo gets a seven out of ten, for being a rather tasteful remake of an already brilliant Swedish film adaptation of the Stieg Larsson bestselling novel.



*GIF by me; screencaps courtesy of VLC




You may also want to read the review for original Swedish version of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo and other book/movie reviews of The Millenium Trilogy.

The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn. 3D

After watching Tintin, I had this feeling that somehow, I wasn't satisfied. When I got home, I pondered on the problem, and tried to find out what was the reason for my discontent. I analyzed everything about the film, particularly these factors:

1. The Direction
This was directed by Steven Spielberg, one of the best visual storytellers alive today. His storytelling is clear, and he doesn't go for artsy directing techniques like non-linear storytelling. His transitions were awesome, yet not flashy. Spielberg's methods may be modern, but his craft is old school, and old school is good especially for this kind of genre, which is geared towards the young and the young-at-heart. In this movie, he's actually like a kid who's found out that his toy has some awesome feature that he's just discovered. By "toy" I mean CGI, and by "awesome feature" I mean "being able to make the virtual camera go places that a human camera operator could never go". This can be clearly seen in the climactic action sequence through the streets of Bagghar, which is basically an awesome chase scene in one single shot, like a roller coaster ride.

Just part of the awesome chase.

2. The Writing
The screenplay was written by Steven Moffat, although he is officially credited with the first draft of the script. Moffat was unable to do the rewrite, as he had to take over as lead writer for Doctor Who, forcing Spielberg and producer Peter Jackson to bring Edgar Wright and Joe Cornish aboard. However, the storytelling style is all Moffat. I fell in love with Moffat's work not with Doctor Who, but with Sherlock. I was hoping he could do for Tintin what he did for Sherlock. And he did. Although I'm sure he could've done a better job if he wrote the entire thing himself, but I'm not one to complain, am I?

3. The Story
Steven Moffat knows how to adapt. He did a brilliant job with Sherlock, and he did a brilliant job here. I only hope Peter Jackson gets him to write the script for the second movie. See, the thing with adaptations like these is you do not just adapt a single story, you actually adapt the entire body of work. If the entire canon were a glass of lemon juice, the movie version would be the same lemon juice in pill form (just add water). The Secret of the Unicorn is just like that--it is a concentrated narrative with hodge-podge elements from the different Tintin adventures. The meeting between Tintin and Captain Haddock was taken from The Crab with the Golden Claws,

This is basically how it went down in the books.

as is the seaplane sequence, while the seaplane catapult is from The Shooting Star, the zero gravity spherical whisky is from Explorers on the Moon, while the brilliant opening sequence hints at The Seven Crystal Balls (which, along with its sequel Prisoners of the Sun, will be the main plot of the second film). Steven Moffat succeeded in concentrating everything great about Tintin into a roughly two-hour narrative, and combined with Steven Spielberg's gift for great visual action, this movie is definitely one hell of a ride.

Better action sequences than Pirates of the Carribean.

4. The Performances
True to his word, Peter Jackson's decision to use computer animation to bring justice to Hergé's work paid off. This picture is years after The Polar Express and A Christmas Carol, and filmmakers have finally discovered that capturing an actor's motion doesn't necessarily mean capturing the actor's face as well. Look at Ivan Sakharine. His facial mannerisms may remind you of Daniel Craig, but does he actually look anything like James Bond?

"I'm more good-looking than Craig."

Andy Serkis looks nothing like Captain Haddock, and doesn't even sound like him. And I couldn't tell Nick Frost from Simon Pegg. In my eyes, they became the Thom(p)son twins. And I seriously want to watch the second film just for them.

So... which one's Frost, and which one's Pegg?

I'd also like to say that technology has improved greatly that the characters now look unnervingly realistic. Bianca Castafiore actually looks pretty enough to put in my Crush Archives.

I couldn't find a GIF image of Bianca Castafiore.
So here's one of Snowy instead.

5. The 3D
Let me just put it this way. What the best 3D film you've seen? Avatar, right? Now who did the CGI for Avatar? It's Weta Digital, the Peter Jackson-owned company that brought Gollum to life. And who did the CGI for Tintin? It's Weta Digital. So it might be safe to assume that Peter Jackson picked up a few tips and pointers for 3D while working with James Cameron, and applied them in this film. Bottom line is, the 3D here may not be as good as Avatar, but it's better than any of the other 3D films released this year.


So, after saying everything I just said, I should in fact be satisfied with the film, right? Actually, yes, I am satisfied. Very satisfied, to be precise. So why do I still have this feeling of dissatisfaction? It's because I wanted more. And I have to wait two more years for the next one. Bummer.



The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn. USA/New Zealand. 2011.



Original rating: Eight and a half out of ten.
My obvious bias: Plus half a point.
Final rating: Nine out of ten.



Before I go, this blog has been nominated (for the third time) for Best Blog, Entertainment Category, for the 2011 Philippine Blog Awards.

Yes!

*some info from IMDb and Wikipedia
GIFs from VLC

Cowboys & Aliens

At last, another one of 'em originals!

Thanks in part to this duck!

Well at least I thought it was. Turns out Jon Favreau adapted it from a graphic novel.