Random Thoughts: The Lego Batman Movie, or The Best Batman Film Ever

*Random Thoughts is a new style of reviewing we're trying out, so this blog can release reviews faster. In case you don't know, reviewing films is time-consuming, and I don't get paid to do this.

Dark Horizons

I just love the scratches on Batman's helmet.

•This is the most meta of Batman films in the canon. It's a Batman film about being Batman.

•There's a rundown of Batman villains from the comics, with the common ones such as the Joker, Bane, Harley Quinn, the Riddler (voiced by Conan O'Brien), and Two-Face (voiced by Billy Dee Williams), and Scarecrow, among others, and there's also the weird, obscure ones like Crazy Quilt, Polka Dot Man, Eraser, Condiment King, and Zebra Man, among others.

•There's a rundown of all Batman movies, from 2016, 2012, 2008, 2005, 1997, 1995, 1992, 1989, and all the way back to that weird one from 1966.

•The movie also shows a whole lot of villains from the Warner Bros. catalogue. Is it the Warner Bros. catalogue, or the Lego catalogue? Probably the latter. There's a shark that's probably from Jaws, velociraptors from Jurassic Park, agents from The Matrix, Sauron (voiced by Jemaine Clement) from Lord of the Rings, Voldemort from Harry Potter, and Daleks from Doctor Who. It's Daleks, okay, not "British robots".

•Could've sworn the Joker was voiced by Mark Hamill. Turned out to be Zach Galifianakis. Well, Hamill already voiced the Joker in the animated Batman films, so having him voice the Lego version is highly unlikely, come to think of it.

•Could've sworn Voldemort was voiced by Ralph Fiennes. Turned out to be Eddie Izzard. I just thought since Fiennes is already voicing Alfred Pennyworth, then he probably threw in Voldemort's voice for free. And why is Wingardium Leviosa the only spell Voldemort knows?

•Could've sworn Robin was voiced by Jesse Eisenberg. Turned out to be Michael Cera. Oh, well. Same mold.

•You'll know this is a spinoff of The Lego Movie not just because Will Arnett still voices Batman, but because of the concept of Master Builders (not "Masturbators", you pervert). In the Lego universe, a Master Builder is someone who can mix and match Lego parts to form totally new creations, such as...

•The Scuttler. If the other Batman films had vehicles like the Tumbler and the Batpod, this film has the Scuttler. It looks like a robot or mecha version of a biological bat, which looks a bit clumsy when standing and walking like real bats do, but which can transform into a magnificent flying bat-jet.

•The sountrack is great. There are some original songs aimed at the younger kids, while there are also some old songs used. I particularly loved the use of Cutting Crew's "I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight", which plays when Bruce Wayne sets eyes on Barbara Gordon (voiced by Rosario Dawson) for the first time. Also, there's a very cheesy Lego minifig dance number at the end.

•This isn't just a comedy about children's toys. Beneath the bricks, there actually lie themes of relationships, family, and friendship, things which the Batman films and comics fail to address adequately.

•I can imagine the merchandising. I mean, the Scuttler? Shut up and take my money, Lego.

•One of the most hilarious moments in the film for me was Bruce Wayne's family portrait he has hanging on his wall. It's a selfie with his parents outside the theatre... near Crime Alley. That's right, a photo of his parents right before they died. I mean, would you do that if you were in Batman's shoes?Keep a photo of your folks right before they're murdered? Okay, it's probably just me, but I found it hilarious. Yeah, it was probably just me.

•The most laugh-out-loud joke in this film, however, is Batman's password to his computer (voiced by Siri). And that password is: Iron Man sucks.

Techno Buffalo

"There will be a sequel, right?"

The Lego Batman Movie. USA. 2017.



Original rating: 8/10
Stop-motion animation style: +0.1
Homage to the '60s "Bam! Pow!" sound effects: +0.1
Jerry Maguire scenes: +0.1
Batman and Joker's almost-gay bromance: +0.1
Final rating: 8.4/10

Trance

YouTube

I've been told to watch Trance, because "It's a great mindfuck film, like Inception." Then I found out it's directed by Danny Boyle, so I said, "I'm watching this because it's Danny Boyle. Also, 'mindfuck' is not a film genre."

Film School Rejects

"How about 'brainfuck'?"

Unstoppable

Have you seen any Wesley Snipes flicks lately?

Oops! Sorry! That ain't the promotional movie poster. Here it is.

我去过中国两次 为什么

Not the Asian version, dammit!

That's more like it!

Any film by Tony Scott is an instant winner. Now this film is from Tony my man. If you base everything on logic alone, then it means that Unstoppable is a winner because it was directed by Tony! The first shots of the film (where the trains suddenly go all blurry) are all pure Tony Scott!

Denzel is also bein' his usual self here in this flick. You know, with the Training Day-like statements and stuff. The only difference is that instead of taking on the action roles, he's now slowly bein' eased into the "old-man/daddy/pre-grampa" roles, as evidenced by him having full-grown daughters who are working themselves through college, and by him working at the train station since 1981 (shit, even older than me).

Working since 1981 will make you look a li'l somethin' like this.

Chris Pine is Chris Pine. Same dude from Star Trek.

Star Trek! Not Star Wars!

Same acting chops. Same everything! I guess that's why he missed out on the lead role for Tron. It's because he's always the same. the only thing that looked different is his face in the movie poster. He looks like Paul Walker!

Not a gay-looking version like this of course.

Lew Temple (that dude that played Ned) is really one of the versatile actors around Hollywood. He's described as a chameleon when it comes to acting, which says a lot. And if you notice, Lew was actually the same dude that played the county sheriff in the movie 21 Grams.

Rosario Dawson doesn't really deviate much from her roles, because I guess that's her comfort zone. You know, bein' a professional woman who works for the government or some kinda' agency. That's about it.

This should've been titled "Stoppable" because the train could be stopped easily anyway. A chopper just has to drop a man on the train to stop it. But they only thought of that in the end?!? Don't tell me Pennsylvanians are that stupid.

They could've been doin' this to begin with.

And lastly, whatever happened to the train full of kids? I was waiting for the train to slam into their car, causing chaos. But they were suddenly... gone.

Overall rating is 6.5. But since it's a Tony Scott film with Denzel in it, it suddenly becomes an 8 out of 10. Good stuff!



*images from regrettablesincerity.com, www.clamack.hpg.ig.com.br, popstarsplus.com, blog.80millionmoviesfree.com, onlinemovieshut.com, mymoviecinema.com

Eagle Eye

Hooray for Steven Spielberg's new poster boy.

Shia LaBeouf stretches his acting muscles, and he does in fact give a great performance. Of course Steven Spielberg wouldn't waste time with LaBeouf if he wasn't good enough.

Story-wise, Eagle Eye is just another one of those movies about the dark side of technology, the centuries-old conflict between man and machine. In fact, during the first part of the film, I couldn't help but notice the similarities with The Matrix, and was half expecting someone to offer Shia LaBeouf to choose between the red pill and the blue pill.

This film isn't a whodunit; in a whodunit, the storyteller lays out a list of suspects, and you try to figure out which one is guilty, based on the clues laid out. So it in fact becomes character-driven, as the characters are fleshed out in the hope that the viewer might put two and two together. This story is actually plot-driven, as from the start, the antagonist is already established, so everybody knows whodunit; the question now becomes howhedunit (okay, that sounded forced).

Director D.J. Caruso does a great job behind the helm, especially with the car chase sequences, which was the most tension-filled car chase I've seen so far. It's actually an interplay of great storyboarding, precise pacing, and excellent editing. Plus, Caruso didn't yield to the temptation of exploiting the sexual tension between LaBeouf and Michelle Monaghan.

Notable performances from Michael Chiklis as the Secretary of Defense, who plays it subtle, Rosario Dawson as the fiery government agent, and of course Billy Bob Thornton, as Thomas Morgan, head of homeland security, who is probably the most colorful character in the film. Michelle Monaghan's acting, so-so. Mr. LaBeouf's acting---excellent. And we all thought he'd always be like Even Steven.


Original rating: Three and a half stars.


*ADDITIONAL COMMENTS*
I had been itching since last week for a good Hollywood movie, owing to the slump in foreign movies after the summer season until Thanksgiving weekend, and apparently, Eagle Eye was shown first in Cebu before it was shown in Manila. And it opened on a Friday, which is not usual. And it wasn't showing in Megamall. Now how the hell did that happen?