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Dredd. Not the Stallone One.


There’s a saying in pop music that if you’re doing a remake, make sure it’s better than the original. The same goes for movies, I guess.

Though I think the chin was better in the original.

Wait... I’m not really sure if this movie Dredd is a remake of Judge Dredd or a reboot of the adapted franchise. Judge Dredd, for those who don’t remember, stars Sylvester Stallone in the title role, and Rob Schneider as the comic relief bumbling sidekick. That film might have been a visual spectacle back in 1995, but the special effects just wouldn’t cut it for the CGI generation.

Are you thanking me for this image? You're welcome.

Thankfully, this film decided to do away with flying vehicles and instead focused on a grittier (like every movie today) dystopian setting. Almost the entire film takes place in a housing block called Peach Trees, which is controlled by the villainous Ma-Ma, played by Lena Headey, who’s had more than enough practice playing Cersei Lannister.

"What up, bitch?"

Huge housing blocks like Peach Trees could be a great idea here in the Philippines. Just take all the homeless degenerates of society and stick them inside a skyscraper. Then put in some drugs like Slow-Mo. Yeah. I could live with that. I don’t think I could live with the crime, though. This film, by the way, has images so violent they make Tarantino shootouts look like water pistol fights.

That squirting stream of blood probably looked great in 3D.

Great job by Karl Urban, I guess, for not letting the audience know he’s Karl Urban. Great job also by the psychic sidekick Olivia Thirlby, for looking hot in that hairstyle.

"I know, right?"

Dredd. UK/USA/India. 2012.

Original rating: 7.6 / 10
Slow-Mo apparatus looking like an asthma inhaler: + 0.1
Final rating: 7.7 / 10

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