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The Visitor

(Another one of those I-should-have-reviewed-this-months-ago reviews)

Christopher Pike has a few formulas in writing a teen (or pre-teen?) novel. One of them is write in a hot, ethereal chick (and I am conscious of the term "chick"), a slightly villainy blond bimbo with big boobs, the all-around good dependable guy, the quiet and deep guy, put in funny extras, a cemetery, a Ouija board, a murder, some aliens or new age science shit, and then allusions to or actual ghosts, blood-letting (or stealing), and zombies.

Also, he has a thing for the name "Mary" and unnecessary sex.

I read this novel in a time of confusion and depression, trying so hard to cling to my childhood past. And it did work, somehow. Even though now, looking from the point of a view of being a hopefully more knowledgeable student of writing (and the whole thing is just really a sloppy novel), I actually enjoyed it more than I would enjoy Twilight. I think I'm still proud that I was obsessed with Pike as a high school student (but I actually first read him when I was in fourth grade -- I tend to obsess for a long time). It may not be as pretentious as Twilight on intelligence, but it makes up for that absence with weirdness and interesting trivia.

I mean, I never would have learned about the details (or perils) of scuba diving if it weren't for Pike. Or even the Vietnam war. He manages to put those stuff in his books. It's like he's giving short lectures. And in this one, he gives a lecture on Egypt's history.

So even if this book was outright sexist (at one point the alien "objectively" pointed out that women are, hands down, the weaker sex, not counting the horribly what-the-fuck but i-am-in-awe-with-this-diss: "having sex with you is like rollerskating on ice" remark) and downright stupid, this is the kind you read before moving on to the more "serious" but definitely boring stuff. Because at the end of it all, I think people should read books to be happy; well, at the very least, to entertain themselves. You can have all the wisdom in the world, but only a few people will listen to you because you are so goddamn boring.



"Also, he has a thing for the name "Mary" and unnecessary sex."

--This is so you. Your name is Mary. And you love unnecessary sex. Now I know why you grew up to be the repressed Catholic school girl that you are. Hahaha! Peace! :-D

Claire said...

because i read christopher pike? hahahaha!

Because you read Christopher Pike and God knows what else haha.

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