Ten Life-Changing Films

(Published in the Philippine STAR, p. Q-2, 10 Oct 2010.)


I have been asked to come up with a list of ten films that inspire change. All for the greater glory of mankind. This forced me to think then if I should enumerate the standard, feel-good, awe-inspiring movies that will make you want to change the world after watching it. There are lots of those, of course, like Schindler's List, or Gandhi. But then these are films about people who caused change. Inspiring though I'm sure they were, the films themselves did not really inspire the change. What I am looking for is the cinematic equivalent of Noli Me Tangere, a film that has actually caused change, and not simply a film about causing change.

There are some films that I would want to include here, but although they have caused change, those changes were not for the greater good. One example is The Godfather, a case of life imitating art imitating life. Modern day mob practices were actually inspired by this movie, with several high-profile mob bosses claiming to be huge fans of The Godfather. But since it’s about organized crime, which is a bad thing, it does not make it to this list.

And since this is just a straight-up enumeration, I will not be ranking the films. This is, after all, not a Top Ten list; just a list of ten films that have caused change. And for a semblance of order, I shall list the films in chronological order, from the earliest to the latest.

Bagets (1984)

I did not want to complete this list without mentioning at least one Filipino film. Fresh from the shackles of martial law, Philippine cinema finally gives the Filipino youth a chance to stretch their legs. Bagets gave birth to the matinee idols of the eighties, influencing everything from fashion to speech, and it has actually succeeded in making youth-oriented movies very popular at the box office, unlike the serious adult-oriented films of the seventies.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon. 3D

Lens flare courtesy of J.J. Abrams.

This will be a different kind of review. We're doing this Transoformers-style. (What?)

So, Autobots are GOOD. Decepticons are BAD.

That's all you need to know. Now here we go.

OPTIMUS PRIME

AUTOBOT

A.k.a. "The Franchise"

Optimus Prime is the best Prime. Ever. Because Peter Cullen is the voice of God, and Optimus Prime speaks with Peter Cullen's voice, then Optimus Prime is God.

SHIA LaBEOUF

AUTOBOT

Shia getting fit for future action roles.

Shia is a good actor, no matter what other critics say. Yes, he does specialize in slapstick. But this is a Michael Bay film. Come on.

MR. and MRS. WITWICKY

DECEPTICONS

Couldn't find a pic of them in this movie.
So here they are from Revenge of the Fallen,
where they are no less annoying.

Frankly, they are annoying. Especially the mother. Honestly, you could scratch their parts out and save screen time. Which Michael Bay could use for more explosions.

SOUNDWAVE

AUTOBOT

Soundwave, according to Google search.

Ooooohhh. Soundwave. For fans who've been waiting to hear Soundwave's voice, you will not be disappointed. You will recognize that soothing 80s Soundwave voice we all grew up with. It's nostalgic.

JOHN MALKOVICH

AUTOBOT

"By the way, John, I love your hair."

I've always loved John Malkovich, even if he does seem to always speak in that slightly annoying manner. But he is hilarious, no question about that.

PATRICK DEMPSEY

DECEPTICON

McWhat-the-hell-are-you-lookin'-at

He didn't really do any acting, unless trying to get the ladies wet by smiling can be considered acting. Plus, anyone who's better-looking than me is a Decepticon.

ROSIE HUNTINGTON-WHITELEY

AUTOBOT

She has a British accent.

She's hot. If Cameron Diaz and Rachel Weisz got married, then one of them had a sex change, then they fornicated and the other one got pregnant and gave birth, the child would be Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.

JOHN TURTURRO

AUTOBOT

"I make car-seat-leather jackets look good."

Turturro has been consistently great in all three Transformers films. And should there be a fourth one (God forbid), then he should be in there, too.

WHEELJACK

DECEPTICON

"I look like a creepy robot Albert Einstein."

When we were kids, and we pretended to be Transformers, I would always be Wheeljack, because I wasn't the alpha male, and because I was the smartest. What the filmmakers did with Wheeljack here is insulting. He's ugly. He's got stupid hair, and a stupid accent. And he's ugly.

SENTINEL PRIME

DECEPTICON

"I sound like Mr. Spock."

He was voiced by Leonard Nimoy. But what they should've done was kill off Megatron in the second film, then bring him back as Galvatron in this film, then let Leonard Nimoy voice him. Sorry, I just loved the animated film so much.

FRANCES McDORMAND

AUTOBOT

"I've got bills to pay."

Frances McDormand's presence in this film takes away the "Only Girl in a Sea of Testosterone" title from Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. And she does great, by the way. Although she does act a bit mannish. But that's her.

BUZZ ALDRIN

AUTOBOT

Buzz Aldrin pick-up line: Wanna see my giant leap?

Shia LaBeouf is an Autobot. And Autobots don't hang out with Decepticons. So according to this picture, by association, Buzz Aldrin is an Autobot. I heard even Optimus Prime peed in his pants when he came face-to-face with Buzz Aldrin.

and finally...

MICHAEL BAY

DECEPTICON

"So I yell, 'Action!' and then kaboom! Then Josh runs there, then kaboom! Then the Autobots arrive here, then kaboom! Then Shia runs over there, then kaboom! Then the Decepticons arrive, then kaboom!"

Mr. Bay, if you can spend thousands of hours of rendering time on hyper-realistic metal robots, couldn't you have spent even a couple of hundred hours for even just semi-realistic faces of past US presidents? Because honestly, they looked like shit.

And now, just a short comment on the 3D. (You can skip this part if you like.)

Michael Bay does not know 3D. Honestly, the best stereography for me is still Avatar. I think the ideal scenario would be to have a director who knows 3D better than the stereographer. Such is the case with James Cameron. And such is not the case with Michael Bay.

Michael Bay does not know how to pace his 3D. The 3D should intensify along with the action. The more intense the action, the greater the 3D effect.

Also, I read that for some shots that required super-slow motion (but still retaining the high resolution), they just shot in 2D then converted it. Boo.



*some info from IMDb
pics from YouTube, All Movie Photo, Deviant Art, Spotlight Report, Star Clipper, Absolute Fiction, Prntscreen, Cinema Blend, TQN here, here, here and here, TF Wiki, Screen Crave, Ace Showbiz, and IMDb



Transformers: Dark of the Moon. USA. 2011.


Rating: Seven out of ten.
3D-ness: Six out of ten.



You may also want to check out Sue Denim's review of Transformers: Dark of the Moon. Or you could read the reviews of Transformers and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Or you could read the review of the 1986 animated film.

The Hangover Part II

Basically, it's almost the same as The Hangover Part I. But instead of Vegas, it's in Bangkok.

Honestly, there weren't as many laugh-out-loud moments in here compared to the first one. This sequel in my opinion was kind of darker, more criminal, in a way. There were even Russian mobsters and a drug-dealing monkey. Also, a severed finger. Eeewww.

And I don't know when Alan (played by Zach Galifianakis) became such an asshole. I don't think he was that bad during the first film. Here, he's just a total douche. Funny, yes. But still a douche.

"Am I?"

Justin Bartha still doesn't get any action. Just like the first film. Though he's not the victim here. He's just a wuss. Or maybe because he's married. Which still makes him a wuss.

"You can tell I'm a wuss because my wife is taller than me."

Stu the dentist (played by Ed Helms) got his shining moments. He is, after all, the bridegroom. But at what expense? Putting the "cock" in Bangkok, that's what. It almost made me want to throw up.

Bradley Cooper=Man-crush. No words necessary.

Kaboom.

Jamie Chung didn't get that much screen time. Probably because she was the bride. And this is a guy flick. So don't expect any chicks in here.

Lovely.

Ken Jeong is back as Mr. Chow. Still as annoying as before. But he's still funny. That cameo from Iron Mike Tyson was entertaining, but at the same time, terrible. He already took singing lessons for his few minutes of screen time. But it was still pretty much off-key. No, not pretty much. Very off key. Paul Giamatti's cameo, on the other hand, was fantastic.

So this got me thinking: If they do The Hangover Part III, will it be Zach Galifianakis who gets married then? That would probably be a riot. And I hope they set it in Europe. Not in a city that reminds me so much of Manila.


The Hangover Part II. USA. 2011.


Rating: Six and a half out of ten.



*some info from IMDb
pics from YouTube, All Movie Photo, and I Heart Flicks



You may also want to check out the reviews of The Hangover from Sting Lacson and Cholo Mercado.

Banlieu 13: Ultimatum

More or less the same deal as its predecessor. Guns, fighting, and parkour were pretty much the same too, here in this flick. But I think that the fighting here looked a wee bit more polished. That's just my two cents, though. The parkour still looked spectacular.

Parkour.

This one had a different plot, though. Instead of the whole district bein' controlled by a single entity (which was Taja in Part 1), this one had several gangs controllin' the district.

Like this, but multi-racial.

Damien and Leito were still rad, though Leito looked a tad bit chubbier. But if it's any consolation to the guy, it's only his face that seems to have a fatter ass than before.

The smallest loser.

Now you know how this ends. Everybody wins (except for the bad guys, of course).

The police are supposed to be the good guys, right?

Everybody's happy. Blah blah blah.

7 out of 10 overall.
Minus 0.5 for not havin' more than enough parkour to entertain me.



*images from sinema31.com, scifi-movies.com, 2.bp.blogspot.com, sidewalkstv.com, static2.dmcdn.net

Game of Thrones, Season 1

"When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die. There is no middle ground."

── Cersei Lannister

Game of Thrones (GoT) is a 10-episode mini-series based on the first book of the fantasy novel series, A Song of Fire and Ice by George R.R. Martin. Set in the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros, GoT revolves around the politics and intrigue surrounding the Iron Throne.

Truly, the best way to adapt a book and give it justice is to turn it into a mini-series, rather than a movie. And with so much gore and sex, this is right up HBO's alley.

One of the biggest changes here are the characters' ages, which are all significantly older than their literary counterparts. I am all for it as Danaerys, for example, is 14 years old in the book. That would make all her nude and sex scenes (particularly the dubious consent ones, haha) more than a little awkward for me.

The costumes were just absolutely beautifully done. It distracts me sometimes, but that's just the cosplayer in me talking. My favourites were the armor worn by Tywin Lannister and the gowns worn by the ladies at The Eyrie court (despite my disgust for the Arryns).

A lot of fans complained about the casting when it was announced, particularly Mark Addy as Robert Baratheon as he had mostly been in comedies prior to this. But I was pleasantly surprised by Addy. Who knew he could pull off such a dramatic role, and do it so well?

And then there's Jason Momoa.

Mmm, boy. Where do I even begin? To be fair, I was a big Dany ♥ Drogo fan from the book before I discovered the gloriousness that is Jason Momoa.

My only qualms─and they are pretty minor─are:

One, the lack of emphasis on the more supernatural aspects of the GoT universe. With all the knights and lords and ladies, it's easy to to think it's just medieval England and not on a land where there once were dragons. They introduce the supernatural elements in the first episode, then pretty much forget about it and suddenly pop up again around Episode 8.

Two, I just felt there was too much sex. Granted, the book has a lot of sex, too, but this felt more like the directors and producers trying to spice up a really long, rather unexciting bit of dialogue by having it done during a sex scene so people don't get bored.

Now that the season has ended and they don't start shooting season two 'til July, I have nothing to look forward to on Mondays to make them seem a little less blue. To fill the void, I'm going to finish reading the second half of A Feast of Crows, which I hope to finish before A Dance with Dragons comes out next week.

Transformers: Dark of The Moon

Before you watch─or if you've watched it already─before you give praise or slam Transformers: Dark of the Moon, consider the following points first:

Shut it first and read.

The movie is about the Transformers, as the title implies, referring to the Autobots and Decepticons. It's not a movie about Sam Witwicky or Sam and Bumblebee. It's also not about the love story of Sam and Carly. Please stop fussing about the lack of human character development. It is supposed to be about them steel cars that transform into robots and whatever technology from their home planet Cybertron that makes them seem alive. Humans take a back seat, and let them hoard the spotlight.

Size matters in this movie. Deal with it.

It's the third installment of the series. A lot of critics have said that the more sequels a franchise produces, the worse it becomes. So don't complain too much after watching the film; you have been warned. Also, you're likely to see all the semi-significant characters of the franchise even for just a few minutes and even if the plot can do without them. You'll still likely watch the fourth installment, if ever there would be one—yes, even if it seems impossible for the dead to come to life again. But let's hope they stay dead this time.

When he grows up to be him, that's the fourth sequel.

It's a special effects-bombarded blockbuster movie about cars that transform into robots. Expect a hot woman character in the film. More than 90 percent of the film's target audience is male (I was the only girl waiting in line for tickets). In this genre, women could be reduced to lips─er, um─sugar, spice and everything nice. That, or a pseudo-strong feisty one who just sits through the action. Testosterone levels soar, but there's a need for a lady to save or a lady to bend a knee in admiration.

How come I didn't see you actually drive this sweet car? Boo.

It's a movie directed by Michael Bay. Hence, all logic should be suspended unless proven otherwise. Bay is an accomplished blockbuster film director who delivered some of the best kick-ass, eardrum-damaging, and fucking-shit-"Whoa!" stunts, explosions, and effects on the big screen. But he's not very tight-knit on story lines. So if you feel like blurting, "What the?" "Where did that come from?" "I thought blah-blah-blah," your argument is invalid. Watch the movie again and try to analyze it if you wish to kill time, or get a headache.

The Terminator meets the thing Neo of The Matrix was at war with.

Um, I'm pretty sure you catch my drift already.

All that said, I think the third installment has the most promising story line. Transformers: Dark of the Moon was more thought of and has more heart not just from the human factor but from the Transformers themselves, even though some of them are still more annoying than cute. Also, Mr. Spock held his own alongside Mr. Cullen—Peter Cullen, that is (and a different kind of shimmering steel).

The number of Star Trek puns in this movie equals Leonard Nimoy.

For how little parts the humans played: I don't think it was established how serious Sam (Shia LaBeouf) and Carly (Rosie Huntington-Whitey) are or how good their chemistry is. Lebeuof is still himself. But I have to give credit for his eyes conveying more of his character's emotions than his mouth. Honestly, he just mainly rattles his lines and shouts. Huntington-Whitely, on the other hand, put to good use her Victoria's Secret Angel-ness and her accent, but nothing more. (Megan Fox kicked more ass. I guess they went for a Cinderella-in-distress female lead this time rather than a Lara Croft incarnate). Frances McDormand and John Turturro are a nice relief at the sidelines. I'll forgive Tyrese Gibson and Josh Duhamel's diminished screen time. It's really hard to hate Patrick "McDreamy" Dempsey. I like Former Agent Simmon's all-around sidekick Dutch (Alan Tudyk, A Knight's Tale) more than John Malkovich's, um... what's his role really?

Little roles. Little time. Big double yum yum.

The special effects are clearly an up credit, though it wouldn't have hurt if they paid more attention to JFK and Nixon's look-a-likes; the whole movie is practically filled with special effects anyway. But I still don't get how the Transformers look polished and painted steel in car form only to transform into rusty-looking robots. Or that Carly's white top always looks clean and white amidst a world of gray and black. Or how humans are could be completely obliterated except for their skulls. Or how... okay, nevermind.

She's easier to spot and save or sweep off her feet.

Transformers: Dark of The Moon gets a six out of ten, for giving the the franchise a reason to keep its chin leveled after its predecessor buried it in deep shit.



*photos from screencaps of the trailer, daemonsmovies, static.tvguide.com, collider.com, and onlinemovieshut.com



You may also want to check out Sting Lacson's review of Transformers: Dark of the Moon. Or you could read the reviews of Transformers and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Or you could read the review of the 1986 animated film.