The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2

Just like the Chosen One's final book that was split into two movies, this second installment of Breaking Dawn feels shorter and rushed compared to the slower-paced Breaking Dawn - Part 1. The movie was mostly truthful to the book, so that's not a good sign since it was the worst of the four.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn─Part 1

If red chess pieces mean nothing more to you than that, then stop reading.

I’m writing this from the point of view of someone who has read the books (it was part of my “wallow in misery” agenda at that time), has watched the previous movies, but is not a huge fan.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn─Part 1 is not bad, but there's still room for improvement. Twihards would probably adore it. Non-fans’s level of appreciation for this movie would be congruent (what?) to the amount of background they know about the story. Like the previous films, so much is implied in several scenes it’s easy for one who knows naught (again, what?) of the story to get lost.

Book cover photo for How To Not Look Pretty When You're Expecting 

As a result of the split, the movie feels a little prolonged—and the second one will probably have the same feel to it, too. Where the already-too-plotted Breaking Dawn is split for the two movies is just right. The obvious climax is clearly the childbirth—not the bed scene, as some would argue. And it’s a pretty convincing climax.

Book cover photo for Teen Wolf Drama King

Because a chunk of the first half of the final book is written in Jacob’s points of view, the convenient “Edward can read minds” helped filter and translate thoughts into dialogue. But still, there’s a lot of unnecessary silence or pauses in between. Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, and Taylor Lautner are, well, still Bella, Edward, and Jacob like before—part awkward, part sweet. The rest of the cast is just so-so, trying their best to play their roles with just short phrases or background music.

My attention to detail (very convincing yucky zombie makeup, too little abs exposure, too loud background music for wolf-talk, science docu-like vampire transformation, forward-flashback style imprinting, etc.) is not important.

A nice improvement from previous makeups.

They always have a change of clothes under their furs now.

Allow me, though to rave at the beautiful house for their honeymoon—love, love, love! Also, it’s a nice touch that the movie used some music from the first film. It’s the more effective nostalgic touch than having a montage of past scenes.


The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn─Part 1 gets a seven out of ten (really, what?), for I went to see it with minimal expectations considering the franchise’s track record (and, in all fairness, it was not bad at all). And for having to wait a whole year—as opposed to, I don’t know, maybe six months like what the other franchise did—for the last installment.



*photos from allmoviephotos.com and its Youtube trailer.



You may also want to check out Sting Lacson's review of Breaking Dawn─Part 1, or the other reviews for The Twilight Saga, such as New Moon and Eclipse.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn─Part 1

First of all, not enough nudity. If you thought Edward was going to be breaking Bella's dawn (and by "dawn" I mean "hymen"), you watched the wrong movie.

"Is it broken yet?"

Thanks to OK! Philippines, Da Couch Tomato got to see Bella's baby before the rest of the world. And we also got to interview the author of the Twilight Saga herself, none other than Stephenie Meyer. Here's what she had to say:

"Hi, I'm Stephenie Meyer. That's right, I have a lot of letter E's in my name. That's one E in every syllable. That's why I named my leading man "Edward", you know, 'cause it starts with an E. Anyway, I'm sure you've read a lot of stuff on the net about Stephen King dissing my work over J.K.Rowling's Harry Potter series. Well, I'm not really trying to copy Rowling's work. God knows I have nothing against wizards hitting puberty. My book's about girls hitting puberty while having a vampire boyfriend. Anyway, Rowling's books don't have wizards getting pregnant, or childbirth even. You can suck it, Stephen King. He's just jealous because my books have made more money than all his books combined. I'm not sure about that figure, but I think it's pretty close.

Rowling's books also don't have sex scenes by a waterfall.

"I must admit, though, that I did steal one of Ms. Rowling's ideas, and that's splitting the last book of the saga into two films. I mean, she broke Deathly Hallows into two parts, right, so I thought I'd do the same with Breaking Dawn. Good thing I caught on to this "split the book into two films" bandwagon early on. Now when Peter Jackson splits The Hobbit into two films, it'll look like he ripped off the idea from me.

"My film doesn't have a 3D release, but I think it's the studio's fault. I mean, who doesn't want to see Robert Pattinson's face in 3D, right? Or Taylor Lautner's abs in 3D, I mean, who wouldn't want that?

"What about my face?"

Well anyway, I don't expect to win an Academy Award or anything, except maybe for Best Makeup for making Kristen Stewart look convincingly like a zombie (although I'd attribute it more to anorexia than makeup).

Or maybe crystal meth.

What I do expect is to break box office records and make a ton of money, so I can buy that beautiful house in Rio where we shot the sex scenes. And I also expect to make a killing in the U.K., which is the only reason I hired Michael Sheen to play one of the Volturi. God knows British audiences are much too sophisticated to watch vampires having sex with zombies."

"If you think I'm sophisticated, then you haven't met Stephen Fry."

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn─Part 1. USA. 2011.


Rating: Six point seven out of ten.
Not having enough nudity: Minus point one.
No Dakota Fanning: Minus point one.
Final rating: Six and a half out of ten.



*some info from IMDb
pics from YouTube and All Movie Photo



You may also want to check out Sue Denim's review of Breaking Dawn─Part 1, or the other reviews for The Twilight Saga, such as New Moon and Eclipse.

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

It's dubbed as the "best" book of the series, so does it follow that it’s the best film yet? The cinemas are jam-packed, and you can't even trace the never-ending snake line to the ticket booths. Thank God for reserved tickets.

The third installment The Twilight Saga: Eclipse focuses more on the love triangle between Jacob (Taylor Lautner), Bella (Kristen Stewart), and Edward (Robert Pattinson) or the wolf-human-vampire relations. It's also about a choice to live and be human or die but remain frozen "alive" (if you could call it that) forever. Add to that a vengeful redhead vampire with her army of newborns set to kill Bella to avenge her fallen mate.

Okay, I read all four books in a breeze, and to say that Eclipse is the best is a good call yet still contested. I really don’t want to compare books with film adaptations because they are different mediums with different formulas for success, but the book felt more... heartfelt, filled with more emotion and tension. I think maybe the three leads are lacking in something that I can’t quite put my finger on. Or maybe the franchise is so dependent on the books that they make the films as if it’s the audience’s responsibility to read the books first to fully enjoy the movie experience. It’s a good film only to a point where you get the story and some more. But you need the book to really understand the characters' subtexts and body language.

What may get the guys to give in and watch (if they haven’t jumped the Twilight bandwagon already) is the action. Action sequences are a one-up from the book. They were well executed and may keep you on the edge of your seat, but it will also leave you wanting that the vampires and werewolves show off their superhuman abilities more. A little room for laughter is always welcome with the three leads’ love-hate exchanges and the werewolf-vampire banters. But the most enjoyable performance for me is the scenes with Bella and her dad Charlie (Billy Burke). It makes the film more human, something like an escape if you feel saturated by the supernatural.

A few points though: One... werewolf boys look really yummy-good shirtless, but it was nice to see them with shirts on. Two... why the hell did they change Emmett and Esme's hair color to black? They look so different it's like they're completely new characters! Major boo. Three... I like the old Victoria actor better. She had natural curly red hair and a more "maldita" overall feel. No offense to Bryce Dallas Howard. Four... I love Jessica's graduation speech. Five... it's so refreshing to see a not-stiff Jasper. And lastly... special mention to Dakota Fanning for being the true voice of the antagonist, so much more dreadful than the newborn army.

After all that is said and done, if you're sort of a Twi-hard, a fan, follower, fanatic or whatever, you'll be more than satisfied. If you're not and you think this movie can usher you to becoming one of them, you might be disappointed. Or you can just soak in the romance, the action, and the laughs and enjoy.


The Twilight Saga: Eclipse gets six out of ten, for, at least for me, a way better movie than its predecessor. It gets a zero-point-five more just for being the silly phenomenon that it is. Really.


*photo from allmoviephoto.com



You may also want to check out the other reviews for The Twilight Saga, such as New Moon and Breaking Dawn─Part 1.

Valentine's Day

This movie is just a lame-o excuse to milk moviegoers' pockets on Valentine's Day.

The screenwriters attempted a multi-character narrative, with several subplots woven together. But it failed.

Did it fail because the multi-character style was confusing? No. Well, maybe just a tad bit confusing.

Did it fail because the weaving of the subplots wasn't tight? Not really. It was woven together quite well.

The reason it failed: the individual subplots sucked.

Jennifer Garner and Ashton Kutcher's subplot: Predictable. You could see it coming a mile away.

Jennifer Garner and the Little Kid subplot: No set-up. There was an attempt at misdirection. An attempt. Ho-hum.

Jennifer Garner and Patrick Dempsey subplot: Typical.

Topher Grace and Anne Hathaway subplot: Nice. But only because it's Topher Grace and Anne Hathaway.

Hector Elizondo and Shirley MacLaine a.k.a. The Old Couple subplot: I liked this. Even though it was a bit cliché.

Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner subplot: Please. Abs + bimbo = bleh.

Ashton Kutcher and Jessica Alba subplot: Okay, then what? What happens to Jessica Alba?

Bradley Cooper and Eric Dane subplot: Where the hell did that come from? No set-up at all.

Julia Roberts and Bradley Cooper subplot: Boo. Just because Bradley Cooper didn't make a move doesn't mean that the subplot above was set up.

Julia Roberts and Little Kid subplot: Win. For being the only non-romantic subplot in the movie. Mothers, please bring a hanky.

Lesson learned: Multi-character and multi-subplot narratives are great, if the individual stories are great, and if they are woven together tight. It has to be all or nothing. You can't have some good individual stories and some not-so-good ones woven together. They have to be all good. Otherwise, it will seem like a smile with some teeth missing.


*some info from IMDb
pic from fanpop.com


Valentine's Day. USA. 2010.


Original rating: Zero stars.
Topher Grace and Anne Hathaway subplot: Two stars.
Hector Elizondo and Shirley MacLaine a.k.a. The Old Couple subplot: Two stars.
Julia Roberts and Little Kid subplot: Two stars.
Trying hard to copy Love Actually but failing: Minus one star.
Final rating: Five stars.