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Resident Evil: Degeneration

Reasons why you would watch this:
  1. The first parts of the movie were cute. It reminded you of those times Resident Evil was actually scary.
  2. Plane crashes, zombies pop out one by one until nomnomnomnom! A planeload of zombies is always a treat.
  3. Claire Redfield tries to protect herself with a red and white umbrella. Get it? Get it?
  4. And Leon S. Kennedy's HAWT because he defies all physics when he didn't die diving in that water tank to escape a fiery explosion. Not to mention escaping from said water trap by breaking glass BY FIRING A GUN UNDERWATER. Wait. This shouldn't be in this list.
  5. Claire Redfield looked like Ashley Tisdale. And Leon's new sexual tension partner looked like an attempt at the love child of Angelina Jolie, that bartender in Shrek 2 and 3, and Idina Menzel. Wait. This shouldn't be in this list.
  6. Having said that, the animation is seriously lagging behind. I mean, look at Final Fantasy IX. They've got better animated chocobo than the facial expressions of Leon's new I-want-to-have-sex-with-you buddy. Okay, seriously, now I'm just playing with all of you. This shouldn't be! Err, this shouldn't be in this list.
  7. I'm not expecting the dialogue to NOT be cheesy. But the least they could have done was put more zombies and less talk. What I got was g-virus infected monster with an eye on its shoulder wanting to mate with the love child of Jolie/Menzel/Shrek's bartender. Seriously? Altogether now: this shouldn't be in this list.
  8. Government conspiracy... ugh. Screw this. I can't think of anything else.

Reasons why you wouldn't watch this:
  1. Because it sucked.


I was going for 2, but Resident Evil was one of my first Playstation sweethearts and even if they keep making crappy movies about it, the least I could do is to add one "point." Letting go sucks!


Claire, this is your funniest review so far. Hahaha! Made me laugh out loud while I was reading it.

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