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Da Couch Tomato Podcast, Episode 9, discussing Charlie's Angels (2019), Elizabeth Banks's manly directing, and the girl power movement in Hollywood.

Background music used is the Charlie's Angels musical score by Brian Tyler.

Hosts: Sting Lacson and Rachel

"We are NOT doing any sequels, all right?"

Since we all know that Disney's latest trend of remaking their entire catalogue of animated films isn't going away anytime soon, let's just accept it. After all, they wouldn't keep making more if we didn't keep watching them. So we are partly to blame for this.

One commendable thing about this film, though, is Disney's decision to avoid "whitewashing" by casting actors more ethnically suited to the story. Casting relatively unknown but culturally appropriate actors was a huge gamble, especially after receiving flak during the film's developmental stage for the earlier casting choices (Tom Hardy as Jafar, come on). I'm glad to see it paid off.

Anyway, let's go ahead and analyse Aladdin using three different criteria. 

FAITHFULNESS TO THE SOURCE MATERIAL
I am fairly certain that a huge chunk of this film's audience was alive when the 1992 animated film hit theatres, so the filmmakers needed to preserve the visual look to satisfy these paying customers. Mena Massoud is still cute enough for young girls to crush over, and Naomi Scott is still hot enough for young boys to masturbate to. Her outfit though isn't as revealing as the animated Princess Jasmine, but nobody seems to mind. Costumes here are more conservative, so no, there won't be any glimpse of Mena Massoud's abs.

The plot is basically the same, save for a few additions made. Some of the changes include the addition of new characters such as the Caucasian suitor Prince Anders (Billy Magnussen) and Princess Jasmine's handmaiden Dalia (Nasim Pedrad), the introduction of the genie and Dalia's love story, and a longer and more intense action sequence in the last part.

SPECIAL EFFECTS
Robin Williams' genie was an icon of the 1990s, so one of the challenges for a live-action remake would be preserving the genie's skin colour. I don't think this is particularly hard to pull off for Disney, especially after Guardians of the Galaxy showcased actors with blue and green skin. So I don't really understand the decision to go with a blue CGI Will Smith. Don't get me wrong, Will Smith's performance was all right, since he brought his own style to the performance without trying to be a Robin Williams copycat, and his best moments are those where he isn't blue.

Overall, the special effects could have been better. The CGI animals, namely the monkey Abu, the parrot Iago, and the tiger Rajah, were great. The flying carpet, too, was a welcome throwback to the animated carpet, but it looked good mainly on its own. However, the scenes showing Aladdin and Jasmine soaring, tumbling, and free-wheeling through an endless diamond sky looked kind of fake. The most magical scene in the entire film looked obviously green-screened.

THE MUSIC
The soundtrack was basically the same songs of the 1992 flick, with a few new songs thrown in. For the new songs, original composer Alan Menken teamed up with Benji Pasek and Justin Paul for the lyrics, giving the girl-power anthem "Speechless".

My only gripe is that the new songs, for me, feel like they were written in 2019. It doesn't have the feel of like a missing song from the original soundtrack which was just re-released this year but was actually written back in 1992 with the old songs. It just feels, I don't know, new. But that's just my opinion, coming from someone who grew up listening to the original songs. I'm interested in how a young viewer who's never seen the old film perceives the new music. And I'm also interested in Lea Salonga's opinion of this movie.


In case you hadn't noticed, I didn't mention this film was directed by Guy Ritchie. That's because this film doesn't look and feel like a Guy Ritchie flick at all. I like Ritchie as a director because of his distinct visual style, which appears nowhere in this movie at all. So let's just chalk this up to Ritchie selling out so he gets money to do the movies he really wants to do.

"Yes, I'm a dimpled Middle Eastern hottie. Deal with it."



Aladdin. USA. 2019.



Original rating: 7.8/10
No Naomi Scott nudity: -0.1
Alan Tudyk: +0.1
Aladdin and Jasmine's flirting and sexual tension: +0.2
Not-ugly Jafar: -0.1
Parkour scenes: +0.1
Actors pronouncing "Agrabah" with an accent: -0.05
Final rating: 7.95/10
Since it's Thanksgiving in the States, that doesn't automatically mean that it's also Thanksgiving in Terra Nova, right? Wrong. They do have Thanksgiving in Terra Nova. But instead of the Pilgrims aboard the Mayflower, they celebrate Colonel Taylor's crossing into the portal.

"I'm a young girl playing a bearded man."

By the way, is Taylor really a bad guy or a good guy? I really don't know, but we have three episodes remaining, because I've just gotten word that Terra Nova will not be renewed for a second season─because of crappy CGI. Too bad for all the Naomi Scott fans out there.

"Here's what I think of your crappy CGI, Spielberg!"



*some info from Wikipedia and IMDb
GIFs from VLC
Josh does something really stupid. Imagine stealing from your own mother. But really, how many of us are actually guilty of that at one point in our lives, right? Or maybe it's just me. Anyway, as long as it's done in the name of love, history will absolve you.

That's gotta hurt.

Maddy, on the other hand, becomes obsessed with her idol, Ken Horton. Horton hears a "who" coming from Maddy and Dr. Wallace, when they start to doubt if Horton is who he says he is. And yes, I just had to force that Dr. Seuss reference.

Oh, Naomi Scott. You look so pretty in a ponytail.



*some info from Wikipedia
GIFs from VLC
Alternate title: Three Hot Women of Terra Nova.

So you all thought humans 85 million years ago looked like this, right?

Lucy in the sky with diamonds.

Wrong. There were in fact some hotties back then.

Obviously not a still from the show.

That's Shelley Conn, who plays Dr. Elisabeth Shannon. Who is kind of cute. Like Salma Hayek with Indian blood.

Then there's this girl:

They seem to have nice clothes for prehistoric times.

That's Naomi Scott, who plays Maddy Shannon. She's that smart girl. You know, every family show has to have a smart girl. So that makes her like the Lisa Simpson of Terra Nova. What? Anyway, I thought at first that she was the same actress who played Vorena the elder in HBO's Rome. She wasn't. But she kind of looks like her, though. She's really cute, but her Google search results don't do her beauty justice. You really have to watch her in moving pictures.

Anyway, here's the third beauty from Terra Nova:

Wait, what's a Sixer doing posing
in front of Terra Nova's gates?

That's Christine Adams, who plays Mira, the leader of the Sixers. No, we're not talking about the Philadelphia 76ers.

"Are you sure? 'Cause I'd sure tap Christine Adams's ass."

The Sixers refers to the renegade group who came to Terra Nova on the sixth pilgrimage, as opposed to the Shannons who came on the tenth. Anyway, black women aren't really my type, but I would be lying if I said I didn't find her beautiful.

Strangely, none of the Terra Nova beauties are pure Caucasian. In true postmodern fashion.



*some info from Wikipedia
pics from XtcianZimbio, Telestrekoza, Zap 2 It, and Celebrity Seats
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