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The Top 11 12 of 2011

And 2011 comes to a close. We now reach the much-awaited year of the Mayan calendar when the Himalayas will drown in a great wave and the earth will be repopulated with the sperm of John Cusack.

Anyway, I would like to apologize to Philippine Cinema for not patronizing you too much this year. I didn't have too much money to spend on movies, and when I did, I went for the 3D films. I'm sorry, really. I hope to watch more Filipino movies in 2012. Which is why I am hoping my friend Cris will get to work on that MTRCB deputy card. I designed her wedding invitation in exchange for this, and I really hope she honors our arrangement. Okay, let me be more blatant: Cris, if you're reading this, where's my MTRCB deputy card? Philippine Cinema needs our reviews.

Okay, so the films in this list were chosen for their rating. For films with multiple reviews, the mean average rating is considered. And that is why I keep reminding my co-writers on this blog to include a rating, if only for the sake of the year-end Top 12.

I would have wanted to do a Top 11 for 2011, just so it rhymes. But there were actually 7 films tied for the bottom slot, which would make it 14 films total. So I decided to just drop two films and end up with a Top 12 list, as always. So to find out which films would be cut, I consulted Rotten Tomatoes (no relation, despite us both having the word "tomato") and used their tomato-meter to rank these films. I ended up dropping 30: Minutes or Less and Cowboys & Aliens, much as I wanted to include the latter for its homegrown Filipino cinematographer, Mr. Matthew Libatique.

Again, this list is limited to 1) films reviewed on this blog; and 2) films released locally and internationally this year. Great films such as The Help are sadly excluded, because although it was released in the States in 2011, it will only hit Philippine theaters next year. And yes, we do condone file sharing.

Before we begin, let me remind you that the title links back to the original review. All rightey then, let's begin with...

(Five-way tie)

"Not that way, Fassbender!"

People who love shipping straight men will have a field day here, shipping the young Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr until you throw up from bromance overdose. But the real life BAMF here is Azazel, who is Nightcrawler's father. Why? Because when he teleports, he goes "bamf!" Get it? Okay, people who never read the comic books won't get that one.

(Five-way tie)

"Yeah, I'll be taking over Ethan Hunt's franchise, as well as Jason Bourne's. Problem?"

Move over, Tom Cruise. There's a new Hollywood action guy on the block, and his name is Jeremy Renner. Among all the sequels, this one is the best, and I have no problem with Renner continuing the franchise, just as long as the films remain true to the spirit of what the Impossible Mission Force stands for.

(Five-way tie)


Banking on the success of the previous Kung-Fu Panda, Jack Black is back (wow, that rhymes), this time with a seemingly non-threatening opponent--a peacock. But because the peacock is voiced by Gary Oldman, then that peacock just made your cock pee (in fear). Okay, that sounded really forced.

(Five-way tie)

Only one guy in the world doesn't want to watch this. And his name is Brad Pitt.

Three things that make this film worth watching: 1) A douchebag Kevin Spacey; 2) a cokehead Colin Farrell; and 3) a hot Jennifer Aniston. Number 3 alone is worth it.

(Five-way tie)

"I shouldn't have hugged Draco Malfoy!"

And thus endeth the saga that made J.K. Rowling the richest woman in literature. I'm not entirely sure about that fact, but come on. Seven books, eight movies, and the intellectual property rights to the greatest wizarding universe ever created. Some of you though might be concerned about Daniel Radcliffe's post-Potter career, but he's doing just fine, thank you very much. You should be more worried about Rupert Grint's. He is a talented actor, and should be remembered for more than playing Ron Weasley.


This film pushes the envelope for motion-capture, giving me another reason to hope that the Academy recognizes the brilliance of Andy Serkis and his contribution to the art as well as the technology. And Hollywood agents will also probably recognize Tom Felton (a.k.a. Draco Malfoy) as the only Hogwarts alumnus who can do a decent American accent.

All films about killer viruses are required to have this suit in their costume department.

This is not a suspense story, nor is it a mystery involving a killer virus, nor is it about a zombie apocalypse. This is a drama, with an all-star powerhouse acting ensemble, and directed by the brilliant Mr. Steven Soderbergh. Plus, it features Jude Law as an annoying blogger, pretty much like us.

4. Drive

"Yeah, my name means 'baby goose'. So what?"

2011 is Ryan Gosling's year. There's no stopping him. Let's just hope his luck continues on until next year. Or the year after that. Let him prove to us that he's more than just a hot Hollywood hunk.

"What? You were expecting Emily Browning?"

There are so many chicks in this flick that this should be called a "chick flick". If only Matthew Vaughn didn't beat them to it, this film's title should've been Kick Ass, because this is the film that kicked the most ass this year. Good job, Zack Snyder. 


"Watch me in The Dark Knight Rises, a'ight?"

There are already a lot of boxing movies out there, from Rocky to Cinderella Man, but Warrior is apparently the first of its kind. And it's not a propaganda film created to spread the religion of mixed martial arts. It's one bloody brilliant story, and after watching it, you'll either start hitting the punching bag, or start apologizing to your estranged sibling. It's up to you.


Like I said, "the new Goonies".

This is not about Super 8 cameras, nor is it about aliens and monsters. This is about human drama, and the joy of adolescence in a small, white, suburban town. J.J. Abrams, you are a genius. Respect.

"You wait for Peter Jackson's sequel."

You may think that the reason this film is number one is because I was a fan of the comic books since childhood. Wrong. This film is a directorial masterpiece, and if you've taken the time to analyze Spielberg's framing, composition, pacing, and every other directorial element, you'll know what I'm talking about. Even if War Horse hasn't come out yet here, I'm pretty sure Tintin is still better.

And that concludes our annual Top 12. Hopefully next year, there'll be more local films on the list. So please God, give us our MTRCB deputy card. We deserve it more than 90% of the people who actually have them.

*some info from
GIFs from Tumblr here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here. Visit Tumblr for your GIF needs.

You might also want to check out the Top 12 films for 2010, 2009, and 2008.


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