Game of Thrones. Season 3, Episode 1: "Valar Dohaeris"

HBO

I missed Game of Thrones.

HBO

Q: Why does Jon Snow look fat and healthy despite his ordeal?
A: Because Kit Harington had a great vacation, and he has no other projects. 

But not any characters specifically; I missed the show in its entirety.

HBO

Hello, Astapor.

Imagine the world of Westeros was contained in a globe the size of a bowling ball. I would call this globe "Gotti" (GoT, get it?), and I would take Gotti out to dinner to show how much I missed her.

HBO

I also missed your nudity, Lady Margaery.

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And yours, Daenerys Stormborn.

Then we'd watch a rom-com, and afterwards I'd compliment her on how big her dragons have become, and how her scenes beyond the wall have now become my favorite. Then I'd have gorilla sex with Gotti, except that'd be weird, even in Westeros.

HBO

Not half as weird as this scorpion with the Shroud of Turin markings.

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