Immortals

The golden rule is: Thou shalt not judge a movie by its trailer.

Even if the trailers have explosions like this.

From the trailer of this film, you might expect it to be like 300, because it said that this was from the producers of 300. But a film is not the creation of the producers. It is merely a production by the producers (hence the root word "produce"), but it is the creation of the entire collaborative effort under the guidance of the director. And this film was directed by Tarsem Singh, not Zack Snyder, so it's nothing like 300 at all.

The look was great. What Singh wanted was for it to be an action film using Renaissance painting styles. Well, it kind of works here:

And maybe also here:

But that's basically it.

Although it works as an action film, don't get me wrong. The fight scenes were spectacular.

"Take that, 300!"

They even had the typical war speech before they started bashing heads in.

Stephen Dorff looking like Kiefer Sutherland.

So what I'm actually saying is that this film has no problems visually. It's the storytelling that makes it fail. The pacing is too slow, and there is no smooth flow from one scene to the next.

Henry Cavill doesn't show much promise in the acting department. Well, how many good actors have played Superman lately? Exactly.

Henry Cavill's acting moment:
Pretending to have an arrow.

Stephen Dorff showed more acting chops here than both Cavill and Freida Pinto combined. Although they did show Pinto's ass, which is a big career boost for her. Now she'll be able to land more roles showing off that cute Indian butt of hers.

"I'm more than just a cute butt!"

Isabel Lucas is really hot, yet no ass exposure, so... too bad for her. But the performances were salvaged by Mickey Rourke, who spoke in almost-incoherent grumbling all throughout, and maybe John Hurt's short-lived role as the old man. Quite unrealistic, though, is the fact that Theseus called him "old man" despite claiming to have known him since childhood. Really now.

One last thing: the casting wasn't so great either. For the role of Zeus, they cast Luke Evans, who kind of looked like an older Orlando Bloom. Zeus is supposed to be the alpha-god, but it just doesn't work with Mr. Evans here. Sorry. You may be a good actor, but you got cast in the wrong role.

Also, you have a dorky whip.

Immortals. USA. 2011.



Rating: Five out of ten.




*some info from IMDb and Wikipedia

Rise of the Planet of the Apes

Great story, although a bit heavy.

I tried to trace the source of the heavy feeling, and realized that it probably came from the fact that we all know how this film will end, and we don't like the journey. Who likes smart apes taking over the world, anyway?

Really, who likes that?

Also, there's this really disturbing feeling, which I believe comes from seeing animals that are as smart as people. That is creepy, in any culture, in any era. No exceptions. Talking apes are the creepiest. The first time Caesar spoke, I was as surprised as the zookeeper guy in the film. And the second time he spoke, I was still as surprised as James Franco. I think talking apes will always surprise me.

Another thing that surprised me: hearing Tom Felton talk with an American accent. Very good. The other Potter kids should learn from this guy. American accents will be their ticket to Hollywood. And Draco Malfoy got there first.

He was also the first one to hug Lord Voldemort.

I predict that it will only be a matter of time before motion-capture actors will become eligible for an acting award. Caesar's facial expressions are perfect, most of the time using just subtle twitches and gestures, but the result is a wonder to behold. All thanks to Andy Serkis, the Motion-Capture King.

Woah, is Serkis really that small?

And finally, to Ms. Freida Pinto: you're pretty, but one kind of gets used to your face after a while. Also, you don't show any skin. Next time, okay? Good.


Rise of the Planet of the Apes. USA. 2011


Rating: Seven point eight out of ten.



*pics from movietrailers.polportal.com, Movie Fanatic, Dread Central, and Just Jared via I Watch Stuff

Slumdog Millionaire

While everyone is raving about Slumdog Millionaire, let me just stress that I've been a fan of Danny Boyle since Trainspotting. So that makes me more of an expert. Of course that was just a joke.

And to sum up Danny Boyle in one word: brilliant. Some people may argue that the great filmmakers are Coppola, Spielberg, and Scorsese, but they should realize that these people are American, and hence come from a different school of filmmaking. Boyle's films have that unmistakable European trademark, and on that ground alone, he shouldn't be compared to any of the American greats. Danny Boyle is brilliant. Period.

Westerners marvel at Boyle's decision to shoot entirely in the Mumbai slums, most of them seeing poverty up close for the very first time. Now for Third World viewers like moi, that's nothing new. We see that everyday. But what Danny Boyle has successfully captured on film is not the dirt and grime of slum life, but the love and happiness of the people who live in it. And that is something not all filmmakers can do.

It is said that Bollywood films are always shot inside the safe confines of the studio, where crowd control is never a problem. Shoot a film in the streets of Mumbai or New Delhi, and the hardest job would be controlling the swarm of people watching for their favorite celebrities. But fearless Boyle has braved the Indian streets, deciding that no studio magic could ever capture the real thing. And the breathtaking shots are a testament to his triumph.

Story-wise, Simon Beaufoy's screenplay is excellent. Adapted from a novel called Q & A, Beaufoy's script is a perfectly crafted mix between the questions on the TV show Who Wants to be a Millionaire? (Indian version) and the life of the main character Jamal Malik. The poetry of the page has been translated successfully into poetry on the screen. The Boyle-Beaufoy combo is an effective one indeed.

And now, the acting. This film would not have been as effective if it weren't for the brilliant actors. Dev Patel and Freida Pinto light up the screen with their excellent performances. Patel (discovered by Danny Boyle's daughter on the British show Skins) is perfect as the good-natured future millionaire (was that a spoiler or not?), while Ms. Pinto radiates her beauty on the big screen for the first time, and she does not disappoint at all. But of course, good actors are guided by good directors, and I need not keep repeating that Danny Boyle is brilliant, because I'm running out of synonyms for the word "brilliant."

The musical score, including the excellent electronica (no Danny Boyle film is complete without any electronica) was composed by A. R. Rahman, who took home the Golden Globe for his score. Again, the music complemented the mood of Boyle's images, and the rising pulse of the beats blended seamlessly with the rising tensions in the story. And I honestly believe that very few filmmakers on this planet can pull off a full-length feature film without using a cello on the soundtrack.

Again, let me just state the obvious: Danny Boyle is brilliant. Slumdog Millionaire will win an Oscar. And I might just go watch Trainspotting again.


Original rating: Nine out of ten.


**Special thanks to Mr. Romeo de la Trinidad, for his graciousness in letting us barge into his home to watch bootlegged DVDs.