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Random Thoughts: Logan, or It's Been an Honour, Mr. Jackman

*Random Thoughts is a new style of reviewing I'm trying out, so this blog can release reviews faster. In case you don't know, reviewing films is time-consuming, and I don't get paid to do this.

"My daddy drives a limo. And decapitates people."

•Great move for Stephen Merchant. Those who don't know him will be surprised to learn that he is one of the greatest comedic minds of the English-speaking world. He's the co-creator of The Office, and the creator and star of HBO's short-lived Hello Ladies. So seeing him in the non-comedic role of Caliban the albino mutant tracker is quite refreshing indeed.

•This is Marvel's most realistic movie to date. Like Batman Begins. Well, you could argue that Captain America: The Winter Soldier was realistic, but I think you got "realistic" confused with "dark and gritty". Of course mutants aren't real, but if they were, this film would probably depict it better than the stylized look and feel of the preceding films in the X-Men franchise.

•I thought Wolverine can't die. I thought his healing factor made him close to immortal, and that there's only a few ways he can actually be killed. So why is he dying in this movie? Adamantium poisoning? Okay, so his healing factor kept the adamantium poison at bay all this time? Sure, I'll buy that. But why did his healing factor fail in the first place?

•What I would've wanted was more of a back story. So this movie takes place in 2029, but how did they end up there? How did Logan get into the limousine business? How did Caliban and Professor X end up in Mexico? I mean, why Mexico? Also, there was no sign of a Mexican-American wall, so does that mean President Trump reneges on his promise to keep the Mexicans out? Or maybe he didn't get reelected? Or does that mean Trump gets impeached?

•Is there some sort of demand for characters like Eleven from Stranger Things? You know, the weird, creepy girl who's actually nice were it not for the circumstances in her life that forced her to become feared as a weapon? I mean, don't get me wrong, Dafne Keen gave a good performance as Laura, even if she spent most of her screen time in silence. She's got that rage-y angst down, and I'm not sure if she's hit puberty yet.

This is actually a very cool costume, in my opinion.

•At one point in the X-Men universe, Charles Xavier was the most powerful mutant in the world. What happened? How was he reduced to this withered old man that Hugh Jackman can carry up a flight of stairs? It seems the Professor is now suffering from Alzheimer's. It's kind of strange that a mind  as powerful as the Professor's can't fend off a mind-debilitating disease. I mean, if I had Charles Xavier's mind, I'd use it to command my cells to regenerate. But I guess that would be a tall order, seeing that he can't even command his legs to walk.

•Boyd Holbrook plays a bad guy in this film. I liked him in Narcos, where he plays a good agent with an even better moustache. Here in Logan, he plays Donald Pierce, the leader of the mutant-hunting gang known as the Reavers, and he sheds off his good guy-image while retaining his facial hair. No, Pierce is not a mutant. He's a cyborg who hates mutants.

•So who is that younger Wolverine? It's probably X-23. Wait, no–X-23 is Laura. This younger Logan is X-24. And to pull this off, director James Mangold utilised the method that's been growing in popularity and will probably be a game-changer in the future, despite the ethics controversy after Rogue One: A Star Wars Story. I'm talking about the use of digital actors. Yes, they used a digital Logan in this one. Actually, for the scenes they were together, sometimes it's X-24 that's CGI, and sometimes it's Old Man Logan. It's just so seamless, you don't know who's who. And that's really how it's supposed to be.

•I noticed that the scene on the highway had trailers/container vans that seemed to drive themselves. Are those for real? They just looked like huge boxes moving across the highway. And also, good job, Professor, for calming the horses down with your mental telepathy. That would make you a...drumroll... horse whisperer. Yeah, I know. That was forced.

•Those kids in North Dakota, are they the New Mutants? You know, because they're new (to the franchise), and they're mutants. But seriously, there's a comic line called The New Mutants. So how do we know these kids are the same New Mutants? Rictor. Yes, that young man who seems to be their leader. Actually, introducing these guys is a set-up to their upcoming spin-off movie. That's right. The New Mutants are getting their own film.

•So while setting the stage for the spin-off franchise, might as well introduce that spin-off's new villain, which would be Dr. Rice, played by Richard E. Grant. Although Dr. Rice plays second fiddle to Boyd Holbrook's main villain, he is by no means still despicable, and we'll probably get to see more of his villainy when the spin-off movie comes out.

"Wait, I haven't done a Rogue-Jean Grey threesome yet."

Logan. USA. 2017.

Original rating: 8.4/10
Not-so-comic book treatment: +0.1
Professor X's powerful seizures: +0.1
Dafne Keen's annoying voice: -0.1
Fat black kid with the power of electricity: +0.1
Logan's death: +0.1
Chrysler limo: +0.1


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