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Send us an e-mail at dacouchtomato@gmail.com and tell us you want to write reviews. Because honestly, we are all tired of writing. Just kidding.

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Monday, April 7, 2014

Review: Captain America: The Winter Soldier. IMAX 3D

Fansided

I said before that I am not really that keen on watching any more Marvel movies, with the exception of The Infinity Gauntlet. So I wasn't really excited about watching Captain America: The Winter Soldier, since Captain America wasn't really one of my favourite superheroes, anyway.

But boy, was I wrong.

"Not half as wrong as getting that rebond, eh Scarlett?"

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Review: Divergent, or Why It's Different From The Hunger Games


I wasn't really keen on watching Divergent. I didn't read the book by Veronica Roth. I'm not particularly a fan of any of the leads—except I find Brit gents generally and naturally more appealing. In fact, I watched this because it had an earlier screening time at the mall on my way home and I didn't want to stay up too late (yeah, I just gave away my age). But I can say it was not a complete waste of time.

I'm going to put this one sexy back out now to get it over with.

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Review: Mr. Peabody & Sherman, or Learning About Time-Killers

Zeke Film

I classify animated films into two categories: 1) time-killers; or 2) works of art. This film, sadly, belongs to the first category.

WHAT IS A TIME-KILLER?
Despite how awesome it may sound (like it's some villain from Doctor Who or something), time-killers do exactly what the name says: they kill time. It's the type of film you watch because there's nothing better to do while waiting for your wife as she gets her nails done.

Those Gallifreyan-like markings are probably a Doctor Who shout-out. 

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Review: True Detective Season 1, or My New Favourite Show, or HBO, You Rarely Disappoint

HBO

The show True Detective seems to have come out of nowhere. There wasn’t too much hype to promote it. I think its success was due mostly to word of mouth.

HBO
And, quite possibly, this man's Academy Award nomination (now win).

Well actually, True Detective’s success can also be attributed to these five things:

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Review: Dallas Buyers Club a.k.a. DBC

This Is Infamous

Every once in a while, like every few years or so, a film about HIV or AIDS comes along. I think every generation has its own AIDS movie. Probably to remind the youngsters about the dangers of unprotected sex.

Focus Features/Truth Entertainment
Wait, a priest with AIDS? 

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Review: The Lego Movie, or Five Reasons Even Adults Will Enjoy This

Chud

The Lego Movie isn't really the very first Lego movie. There's Lego: The Adventures of Clutch Powers. There's also Lego Batman: The Movie – DC Super Heroes Unite. Those two, however, converted the cute appeal of the Lego Minifigures into computer-generated characters. Which means in those movies, the Minifigures bend, and I mean in curves.

Bendy legs: great but unrealistic.

What makes The Lego Movie different from those other Lego movies is that this one tries – and succeeds – in achieving the look of the stop-motion fan-made videos on YouTube. The characters don't bend at the knees, and everything is made of Lego pieces – from waves to smoke to clouds to flames.

Some people may prefer the streamlined look of Ninjago or Chyma, so the stiff animation style may not appeal to them. But there are still several reasons why you should go watch this flick. Here are five.

1. "Everything is Awesome"
Yes. That annoying but damn catchy theme song.

The Lonely Island: annoying but damn catchy.

2. The Schizophrenic Good Cop/Bad Cop
Of course we'll hear Liam Neeson's trademark Irish drawl. But we'll also hear him in a high-pitched goody-goody voice.

"Release the Kraken. The boy is the chosen one, you must see it."

3. Super Heroes
By which I mean "DC heroes", specifically Batman, Superman, and the Green Lantern. Three guesses why there aren't any Marvel heroes in here.

Everyone is happy in this movie. Even Gotham's Dark Knight.

4. The Wizard Vitruvius being voiced by God
By which I mean "Morgan Freeman". I also love how they just dangle him on a string to simulate being a ghost.

"My voice acting talent fee is quite expensive." -Morgan Freeman

And finally…

5. The Millenium Falcon
Yes, that's Anthony Daniels and THE Billy Dee Williams as C-3PO and Lando Calrissian.

No photo of the Millenium Falcon available, so here's Abraham Lincoln and Superman instead.



The Lego Movie. USA. 2014.



Original rating: 8.0 / 10
Chris Pratt's genuinely happy voice: + 0.05
Charlie Day's trademark scream: + 0.05
The meta-ness of the entire thing: + 0.05
Will Arnett's Batman performance: + 0.05
Channing Tatum as Superman: + 0.05
Jonah Hill as the Green Lantern: - 0.05
Live action bit at the end: - 0.05
President Business not being Will Ferrell-y enough: - 0.05
Final rating: 8.10 / 10





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Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Review: The Wolf of Wall Street

I Am Your Target Demographic

When asked to choose between Walking with Dinosaurs, 47 Ronin, and The Wolf of Wall Street, the answer was easy: the Scorsese film, of course. First, I didn't want to watch Ronin or Dinosaurs in 2D. Second, it's Scorsese.

It's most probably Scorsese if Leo DiCaprio is in it.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Review: Mumbai Love, or Why the hell is SamYG not in this film?


Mumbai Loveis an ambitious Filipino movie that has a lot of potential and eyeliner. It's a rom-com that uses neat camera tricks (or whatever that's called in film jargon), such as couple-only slow-mo, or magically changing shirts off-frame, and also Bollywood dancing, which in my humble opinion looks better onscreen with a flash mob-like number of participants rather than just a few handfuls. It also aims to bridge the culture gap between Indians and Pinoys.

Ella: "Yes, we can flirt and all, but no kissing even on our wedding.

Friday, January 17, 2014

The Top 13 of 2013

Ah, 2013. It may not have been a good year meteorologically-speaking, but it was a great year for movies. The bad news is we've seen far less movies in 2013 compared to the previous year. The good news is we've seen those that actually matter.

Like most lists, this list isn't perfect. There might be one or two anomalies in here (such as The Lone Ranger) which should've gotten a lower rating, but the other writers of Da Couch Tomato haven't had time to write multiple reviews in order to bring down the average. Some also would've probably made it to the list, if only the writer didn't forget to add a rating (like Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters). But we don't do sleight-of-hand rating changes just because we don't like a film that much. We have integrity, and we stand by our rating. We just add a disclaimer.

Anyway, here are the Top 13 movies of 2013. Clicking on the title links back to the original review. And so we start with...

Number 13

Not a Daft Punk music video.