Da Couch Tomato

An attempt at a new layout, with horrible glitches, and very minimal knowledge of HTML.

Review: Epic 3D, or Just What Is So Epic About This Movie, Anyway?

If it's so epic, why's it in lower case?

Upon hearing the word "epic", the first thing that comes to mind (at least to English majors) is Beowulf. Or the Iliad and Odyssey. "Epic" suggests some grand narrative encompassing decades, or even millennia. So what makes this movie "epic"? Because it's definitely not the scope.

Costume design was excellent, at least for the Leaf Men, whose wardrobe looked like a Westerosi tailor married a Middle-Earth seamstress and they set up shop in Fern Gully. For the villainous Boggans, not so much, although to be fair, they had animal skins on. You can also expect Queen Tara's white petal gown in next year's Oscars.

"Don't even think about it, Gaga." -Beyoncé

By "epic voice acting", I mean "epic voice acting budget". Check out how many A-listers are listed in the credits. Since Beyoncé Knowles already agreed to voice Queen Tara, Blue Sky Studios probably forced Danny Elfman to make sure Beyoncé sings a song in this movie. I'm not sure if they could afford Steven Tyler's singing, though.

"You're really gross, you know that?"

Nowadays, the only 3D worth watching is computer-generated 3D, as this is where complicated 3D measurements can be executed seamlessly. You can see this clearly in close-ups of MK's dad, whose nose seems to just pop out of the screen.

Wish we could make her breasts pop out of the screen. What.

The overall visual design succeeded in making the film look "otherworld-ly" but having good guys ride birds and bad guys ride bats? Kind of lazy.

"Who you calling lazy?"

So, just what is so epic about this movie? Nothing, really. It's a misnomer.

Epic. USA. 2013.

Original rating: 6.9 / 10
Snails as comic relief: + 0.1
Aziz Ansari's voice: - 0.05
Colin Farrell's Irish twang: + 0.1
Amanda Seyfried and Josh Hutcherson's mediocre voice acting: - 0.025 each
Underutilizing Christoph Waltz: - 0.1
Final rating: 6.9 / 10

Follow Sting Lacson on Twitter. But follow Da Couch Tomato first.

Follow Da Couch Tomato on Google +.


"...Westerosi tailor married a Middle-Earth seamstress and they set up shop in Fern Gully"—Nice.

It's set to be an Epic stpry once the franchise makes sequels. But seriously, it has a good story. Maybe not Epic, but it's good—and I mean that not just on a kiddie movie level.

Honestly, I don't see how this can have any sequels. Hahaha. They can try and force a sequel, though. It won't be the first time Hollywood's done it.

Premium Blogspot Templates
Copyright © 2012 Da Couch Tomato