Da Couch Tomato

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Because We Love Free Movies...

...we're doing this.

Nuffnang and Hapee Toothpaste will be holding a surprise movie screening this Friday. To win two invites, we have to do two things:
  1. write a blog entry about what makes both Nuffnang and Hapee first-class; and
  2. attach the badge provided at the end of the writeup

Allrighteythen. Let's do this.


1. What Makes Both Nuffnang and Hapee First-Class

Let's do Nuffnang first.

No Laos or Myanmar = First Class

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American Icons: Randy Savage


Those who are old enough will remember "Macho Man" Randy Savage as part of the wrestling triumvirate of the eighties along with Hulk Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior. He also introduced most of us to the musical piece "Pomp and Circumstance" (a.k.a. the "Trio" section of March No. 1 in D). You will never know the feeling of being a genuine eighties kid until you've marched at your grade school graduation thinking you were Macho Man walking out to the ring.

And so before we say goodbye to Macho Man as he joins Andre the Giant in that huge Royal Rumble in the sky, here's a pic of him during Wrestlemania V, where he lost the WWF title to the Hulkster:

Holding hands with Hulk Hogan. (Alliteration of the year)


Randy Mario Poffo a.k.a. "Macho Man" Randy Savage. 15 November 1952 - 20 May 2011.



*some info from Wikipedia
pic from Shock Blast Media and Team Talk

2 comments :

Game of Thrones. Episode 7: "You Win or You Die"

First thing's first: This episode has the best girl-on-girl action so far.

As if showing some fruit would give it a PG-13.

And finally. The Game of Thrones has begun. Coincidentally, this is also the episode where the words "Game of Thrones" are spoken by a character.

And this is what you need to play the Game of Thrones:

Four Kings

Technically, three and a half.


Three Knights

Old. Young. And in-between.


Two Queens

Left: Beauty. Right: Bitch.


and One Knave

This guy really reminds me of Edward Norton.


We lose one more major character here. Also, because of Jason Momoa's excellent delivery of his declaration of war, Dothraki is now the new Elven.



*pics from VLC

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Game of Thrones. Episode 6: "A Golden Crown"

Slight changes in the opening credits. This was actually since the last episode, but I only noticed it now.

The Eyrie. Not in the opening credits of the first four episodes.

Anyway, the alternative title for this review is "Three Eighties References in Episode 6 of Game of Thrones".

1. Cannibal Holocaust


Nope, that's not a human heart. That's a horse's heart. Now Daenerys is truly a queen.


2. G.I. Joe


Technically, Destro's head is silver. But I do remember seeing a gold-headed Destro toy once. And finally, we lose one major character. Good riddance to you, Viserys Targaryen. You are an annoying wuss.


3. The Goonies


Remember that scene from The Goonies where Chunk confessed his crimes to the Fratellis? That's exactly what Tyrion Lannister did. Peter Dinklage, you are still the best actor in this series.


Disclaimer: These eighties references are the author's sole opinion and in no way represent the opinions of HBO or George R.R. Martin. Although it would be totally cool if it did.



*pics from DVD in My Pants, Latino Review, Encyclopedia.com, and VLC

10 comments :

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. 3D


First, a review of the 3D, before we review the film itself.

Some of you may wonder if this is indeed a 3D film. It is. It's even real 3D, not that converted crap Hollywood keeps spewing out. But the 3D is so subtle, it's like it's not even there.

That is of course a safe way to make sure that the stereography is done correctly. As long as it's not eye-straining to watch, then that means it's good stereography.

Is it ever eye-straining to watch this face in 3D?

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Nikita. Episode 15: "Alexandra"

What the hell is that facial expression supposed to be?
Sadness? Disappointment? What?

Sorry to say this, but I have lost interest in Lyndsy Fonseca. Yeah, she's still a pretty face, and if she stood naked in front of me, I wouldn't say no. But that's all she ever will be: a pretty face. She cannot act. Well, maybe basic acting. But that's about it. Without any acting ability, I don't think she'll be in any Hollywood flicks anytime soon. Not unless she improves, but I doubt it. This is more than halfway through the season, and she pulls something like this. Boo.

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Nikita. Episode 14: "The Next Seduction"

"I never liked your short hair!"

Flashbacks of Nikita with short hair (see pic above). But aside from that, this episode kind of throws in everyone in the mix. That's Division + Gogol + CIA + Nikita. And Alex? Back home, flirting with that blonde DJ neighbor of hers.

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The Vampire Diaries. Season 2, Episode 22: As I Lay Dying

Self-pity path to self destruction sans ring or sunscreen.

"Neither one of us is drunk enough for this conversation."

Damon ignoring death, wanting to die, and really dying to.... not. The threat of losing one of the Salvatore brothers is what emotionally anchored this second season's finale. But does Damon's hallucinations-slash-realizations mean he's dropping the badass sarcasm? Hopefully not. But the whole thing actually paved the way for Elena to kiss Damon, and not the other way around.

Pretty friendly "he's dying" kiss, if you ask me.

It would be kind of awkward (with a dash of guilt) for the two next season when they both know how they feel about each other, but then at the expense of Stefan. I think this is very interesting for Stefan, reverting to his old ways. It would give him more room to act and explore his brooding-ness, with probably a moral dilemma always in his face. I'm sure big brother Damon will take care of this like he always does.

Has Stefan really turned to the dark side, or is it just a show for Klaus?

It feels a little contrived that the build-up of Mama Sheriff knowing everything falls down to a simple confrontation with her vampire daughter. I would have imagined a more ingenious way of stepping in and messing up the gang's plans. I've always loved the mother-daughter's rocky-and-then-not relationship. But next season could see a change to that though, after a cheap-shot reconciliation.

You girls can do better than that dialogue and that hug!

The only good thing that came off the contrived Mama Sheriff meddling was Jeremy getting shot and dying. And after coming back to life (go witches!), he now sees dead vampires (people?), which could prove to be useful. I don't exactly see how this is going to change the fact that he's still human amongst the supernaturals. But it will certainly mess with his relationship with Bonnie; his dead ex-vampire-girlfriends are back.

T'was good riddance to you in the first season, Vicki. Tell me you're not your old self.
Wohooo! Anna. Is. Back! Now, it's really a wish come true to see you somewhat alive again.

Yes. Between Damon dying, Stefan going dark, the sheriff knowing everything, and Jeremy seeing dead vampires—this season of The Vampire Diaries clearly upped the ante on deaths and twists and turns. A lot of characters said goodbye, but for those who are still with us, we hope you don't die... yet.

  • Alaric, for one, might be the Gilberts' guardian. Well, he is Elena's biological mother's husband, so it kinda makes sense. Plus, I think it will be good for Jeremy to have a man in the house.
  • Elijah had been killed four times in this season alone. But a third season with the originals will not be complete without him. Someone should be in the business of pulling out daggers next season.
  • Matt and Tyler are definitely going to be on some common turf next season even though they're absent in the finale. I think someone's going to get jealous or something.

And this is kinda off-topic and I don't know if I said this before, but the TVD soundtrack is really amazing.

'Til next season!

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Game of Thrones. Episode 5: "The Wolf and the Lion"

A visual rhyme with the last shot from the previous episode.

For those of you who've been thirsting for blood, look no further. We have a lot here.
  1. Bloody jousts. The Mountain (what a name!) slashes his steed's neck after he falls down. Not to worry, though, no animals were harmed in the making of this series (citation needed).
  2. The sword fights were meh. Which means they were realistic.

  3. An ambush on Lady Stark's party. And Tyrion hacks a man to death with the pointy end of his shield.
  4. Such great power from a little man.

  5. That fight where they try to bring in Ned Stark alive. I really hate that arrogant wretch Jaime Lannister.
  6. Eeeewww.
So, to balance all the bloodshed (expect more blood in the upcoming episodes, because "winter is coming"), we bring you the gayest royal couple since Braveheart.

Shaving your partner is the highest form of love.

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Nikita. Episode 13: "Coup de Grace"


This is the episode with some Georgian prince. Not Georgia the US state, but Georgia the European country. Anyway, I'd just like to say that Shane West is starting to grow on me. His acting is actually pretty good. Maybe he just gets better and better as the series progresses. Well, this is only about halfway through the series, so he could actually become way better in the season finale.

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Flickan som lekte med elden (The Girl Who Played With Fire)


Okay, here's how it went down.

Not that kind of going down.

With the first installment, I watched the film, and didn't read the book. But the film was great, and I was too busy raving about it that I didn't have time to read the book anymore.

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Fast 5 a.k.a. Fast & Furious 5


The US title is Fast 5, but the Philippine release was titled Fast and Furious 5. You know, just to make sure everybody knows that this is the fifth film of that franchise about fast cars and rappers who want to switch careers. Of course, when you hear the words "fast and furious", it can only pertain to three things: 1) race cars; 2) tasmanian devils; and 3) Wolverine.

"My claws can act better than Paul Walker!"

And in keeping with the theme of the movie (even the subtitles were fast and furious, which was good, actually), here is a review that can be read in less than a minute. And because this is the fifth film, we'll place special significance on the number 5. Here are five points/observations on the movie, told with five images, described with five captions, with each caption having exactly five words each.


It's Grand Theft Auto: Rio.


Body temperature: ninety-nine degrees.


Furious biceps required by contract.


Dark skin equals comic relief.


Everybody lives... for Fast 6.



Fast 5 a.k.a. Fast and Furious 5. USA. 2011.


Rating: Two out of ten.
Elsa Pataky's hotness: Plus three points.
Gal Gadot's killer figure: Plus three points.
Gal Gadot's small breasts: Minus half a point.
Gal Gadot's flat buttocks: Minus half a point.
Jordana Brewster looking old and wasted: Minus one point.
Scene where The Rock takes the folder from Elsa Pataky and hurls it: Plus two points.
Paul Walker's invisibility due to his non-acting: Minus one point.
Not including Eva Mendes in this film: Minus half a point.
Resurrecting Michelle Rodriguez from the grave for the next film: Minus half a point.
Not knowing when to stop: Minus one point.
Final rating: Five out of ten.



*pics from, Comic Book Movie, YouTube and IMDb



You may also want to read the review for Fast & Furious.

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Post-Industrial Cosmology: The Hangover Review


Relativistic hedonism could be described as the perennial philosophy of our age, contrary to the word of the Second Vatican Council, and this being so, then perhaps the meaningless debauchery of The Hangover is nothing less than the practical application of our common wisdom; and it is through this lens that I have come to see that perhaps The Hangover is a model for post-industrialist cosmology, a myth explaining the workings of the absurd universe as it exists cut up from all influence and origins: One must only consider two things: It is in Vegas, away from the consequences of their past lives and reputations, and the main action of the film occurs without memory of the cause, such that we are left only with the effects, the pure mechanisms of the universe, the motion, as it were, without the push.

So what is the primordial stuff of which the universe is made, according to the film? Chaos, of course. Vulgarity, crime, and rudeness in such huge proportions that, as the protagonists saw, if they are to let themselves run without their conscious faculties, they will more likely end up tossed around in meaningless, violent absurdity than dead. Obviously, there is no profound message to be found in The Hangover, and this lack leads us to its single assertion: Reason is undone. Somewhere, sometime, humans were left to their freedom, and succeeding this, between two points is not a determinate line but a scattered path of tigers, retired boxers, babies, lost teeth, strippers, Chinese gangsters, and so forth; and from this unruly universe, as the dictum goes: Hilarity ensues.

An eight out of ten.



You may also want to check out the other The Hangover review from Sting Lacson.

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Thor

Because StingLacson called me out for being a Chris Hemsworth fangirl, here's my review of Thor.



I'm team DC so not only do I know close to nothing about the Marvel universe, I am also not particularly interested in it. Truthfully , the only reason I went out to see Thor was because I wanted to see what Natalie Portman's been doing after her Oscar win.

But surprise, surprise. I thoroughly enjoyed Thor. I enjoyed it better than the first Iron Man movie, which up to now I consider one of the best superhero movies so far. (No, I do not like Christopher Nolan's Batman. See, I'm not biased against Marvel. I did hate Iron Man 2 though, so I guess they're even.)

My first and last encounter with Thor was in one of the Avengers animated movies which had him on a boat trying to stop some whalers. So, kudos to Chris Hemsworth for owning the role and making it totally badass.

Mmm, yeah. Gif totally necessary.

I also really, really liked Tom Hiddleston as Loki. He was subtle and awesome and looked a little like Steve from Blue's Clues. I read somewhere that he initially tried out for Thor. I'm glad he didn't get that part. He was perfection as Loki.

We've come to a point in movies where talking about the special effects has started to become redundant, but I liked how they rendered Asgard, particularly the Bifrost. Still rainbow-y without being My Little Pony.

This didn't feel as fleshed out as it could have been, but it did succeed in one critical aspect─I totally want to go watch The Avengers now. Forget the Captain America movie, bring on the Avengers!

If you liked this review, you may also want to read Sting Lacson's review of Thor.

4 comments :

The Vampire Diaries. Season 2, Episode 21: The Sun Also Rises

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding! Time is up
"The last thing she needs is another grave to mourn."

Yes, a lot of blood has been spilled in this episode, and it's all because of the sacrifice by which Klaus is now successfully a wolfvamp. Our little doppleganger, though, is spared; thanks to some witch spell mumbo-jumbo (Why, again, haven't they thought of that earlier?) binding her soul to her biological father's, and thus not dying or becoming a vampire. I get the soul-binding part, but I thought the sacrifice needed Klaus to drink Elena's blood until she's dry, so why wasn't there any blood transfusions? Harhar.

Jenna went out with a bang. To go for Greta as her last attempt at being Elena's guardian is proof that she could have been a pretty good vamp. But she'd never be a match to any supernatural even to her supernatural self. I'd also want to mention John for doing what any father would do. So with Jenna and John dead, who will be Elena and Jeremy's guardian?

Stefan, again, is rendered useless with Damon doing all the work. Bonnie is just the appetizer dish, and Elijah's supposed to throw the final blow. I'm sure he has some payback in mind after breaking his word. The hype that Klaus brought to the series was too good that the sacrifice turning sour would be an unjust end to the story arc. That's why the sacrifice happened sans any serious hitch. And that's why we'll have a third season still full of originals.

And this, too. Will they produce a baby wolfvamp?
With the sacrifice out of the way, everyone can focus on our dying Damon. I just really hope they don't kill Damon. I doubt that they'll kill him. Come on! The finale holds Damon's fate.. and frankly all the other characters' as well.

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The Vampire Diaries. Season 2, Episode 20: The Last Day

Badass vampires face off.
"If it were my choice, I'd want to be with you forever."

Stefan is such a little brother. After spending and hoarding precious time with Elena (with her "I don't want to be a vampire!" drama), he calls Damon right after Klaus takes away his girl. And of course big brother takes care of it, or at least he tries to. Stefan's like a mob-brother, who enjoys the tainted luxuries her brother makes off of killingor in this case rescuing Caroline and Tyler and even forcing Elena to drink his blood. There's much to discover in the Salvatore brothers. So, NO, I don't think Damon will die of just a werewolf bite. There's got to be something! It's really bad business to kill of the character that attracts your audience.

Jenna just became alive (or dead depending on how you see it). Honestly, I don't think she's going to survive this. The cuteness of her being with Alaric has outlived its purpose; she knows everything now. We don't really need a worrywart reluctant parental vampire, do we?

Matt just became part of the series. Congratulations! The "other" triangle is on again. I can't believe I'm surprisingly happy to see Tyler. The way Matt's character has evolved doesn't really push the right buttons on Caroline... and me.

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Thor


For those who love Norse mythology, you're probably familiar with the words Asgard, Midgard, and Skarsgård. Kaboom. Just had to get that joke out of the way.

"Meh. My name's got that A with the circle on top."

2 comments :

Game of Thrones. Episode 4: "Cripples, Bastards, and Broken Things"

True racial discrimination: Man against Dwarf.

Peter Dinklage is maybe the best actor in this series. He does it so naturally. This episode lacks action, because the only action sequence here is a joust fight, won by the Hound's older brother. The "aaawww" part of this episode comes when Jon Snow befriends a fat recruit, and the "I-hate-you-so-much-I-want-to-slap-you" part comes when Ned Stark confronts Queen Cersei, and we catch a glimpse of maybe the most evil HBO bitch since Atia of the Julii. And the cliffhanger? Check out that pic. Please don't do that to Peter Dinklage. He's the best character in this series, and you know it.

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Nikita. Episode 12: "Free"

"How long do we have to pretend that we're shopping?"

First off, Birkhoff. I really love your character, man. You are funny in a non-comic relief way. Okay, second: Alex. There's a thing called the "Three-Month Rule", where it is forbidden to date, or so much as even flirt, with someone within three months of breaking up with your ex. Especially if by "breaking up with" you actually mean "killing". Well maybe not exactly "forbidden". Maybe frowned upon? Whatever. It's totally not cool.

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