Da Couch Tomato

An attempt at a new layout, with horrible glitches, and very minimal knowledge of HTML.

Oscar Live Ticker

The first time I discovered Live Ticker was during the FSV Mainz 05─Bayern München match (20 Feb 2011). I sat through the entire game, in which Bayern won 3-1, with two assists from Arjen Robben.

"To me, an assist is a goal."

My next encounter with Live Ticker came last Saturday with the New York Knicks match against the Cleveland Cavaliers. (Apparently, the NBA version is not known as Live Ticker, but as "TV Companion", which in my opinion sounds more like a battery-operated porn gadget.) The Knicks lost 109-115, and Carmelo Anthony was fouled out.

"We don't gotta explain nothin', ayt?"

What the hell is Live Ticker, you may ask? Well, in case your limited intelligence hasn't already deduced it, Live Ticker is an online play-by-play of literally any live event. There is no artificial intelligence capable of doing this as well and as brilliantly as a human can. There are actually people behind it, observing and narrating, if not typing in the words on their keyboards manually. These are the people who are the true heroes, and they should form their own union and demand for better privileges. Because if all human jobs would be eventually replaced by robots, the Live Ticker people would be the last to go.

"If you have any information on those Live Ticker fuckers, tell us now."

So now let's pretend that this blog is a high-profile celebrity blog, with the likes of Vittorio Storaro as paparazzo correspondent.

"I have three Oscars."

Now let's pretend this blog earns so much money that we were able to send someone to the Oscars to cover the show. What should he/she be doing there aside from smoking weed with Seth Rogen? Why, covering the Oscars, of course. In Live Ticker fashion. This is our way of satisfying the information urges of the working class, especially those who have no television sets at the office, or whose office TVs have no cable, or whose office firewalls may be blocking video streaming sites, or whose broadband connections are so slow they might as well be called dial-up. This is also our way of paying tribute to the unsung heroes that make our sports betting more fun and exciting.

Okay, we have less than half an hour before the biggest show on Earth. This is not really a Live Ticker application, by the way. It's our Twitter feed. Follow us if you want to be updated with a blow-by-blow account but don't like to keep this window open. But if you don't mind keeping this window open, then click on the ads while you're here, so that we can make enough money to send one of us to the Oscars next year. For real.

*pics from Sky Sports, Tattle Tailzz, Zimbio, Movie Bank UNiverse,


Premium Blogspot Templates
Copyright © 2012 Da Couch Tomato