Da Couch Tomato

An attempt at a new layout, with horrible glitches, and very minimal knowledge of HTML.

Black Swan

Too bad I didn't watch this last year. It'd have made the Top 12.

Anyway, Natalie Portman, you are so beautiful. And I now forgive your crappy acting in Star Wars.

No, not that Star Wars.

Yep, that one.

Now although this film is about ballet, which a lot of people regard as "dancing for sissies", this film is definitely NOT for sissies. It comes off as a horror or suspense film, with some blood and no killers, all done in Darren Aronofsky's trademark "hallucinate-like-you-haven't-slept-in-days" style.

Which was also the style used by Winona Ryder's make-up artist.

Wait a minute... is that the guy from La haine? Yup, that's Vincent Cassell. Thanks, IMDb.

La haine: The film which taught us that hashish can be cut with a hot knife.

If you're a wuss (like me), then be prepared to cringe at some really disturbing images. Also be prepared to get turned on by images of Natalie Portman touching herself, and some Natalie Portman-Mila Kunis girl-on-girl action.

If this doesn't turn you on...

...then this should.

Once you get past all those graphically sexual images, this film is a great work of art. But watching it will make you ask a lot of questions, like these:

  • Can she see ghosts? 
  • Is her mom a ghost?
  • Is she on drugs? 
  • Is she crazy? Like Russell Crowe-crazy in A Beautiful Mind?
  • Is this like Fight Club?
  • Where did those wounds come from? 
  • Did she really touch herself while filming?
  • Is her dancing computer-generated?

After watching, some questions may have been answered. But a lot of them will remain unanswered. Damn you, Aronofsky!


*some info from IMDb
pics from Sodahead, Millionaire Playboy, demeter clarc, The Movie Db, Busy Buzz Blogging, and The Buzz Media


Black Swan. USA. 2010.


Rating: Eight point five out of ten.
Natalie Portman-Mila Kunis girl-on-girl action: Perfect ten.




If you liked this review, you may also want to read herd commander's review of Black Swan.

0 comments :

Premium Blogspot Templates
Copyright © 2012 Da Couch Tomato